it's snowing in my heart

humants

2011-10-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

Halloween is tomorrow
Gavin's very excited
he's 8 now
Miette will be excited once she see's what's up
that all she has to do is walk around in a Gnome outfit
and hold a basket
then people will pile candy in to it
and she can go crazy stuffing it all in her mouth
she's gonna love it!

Jayme is also going to be on TV tomorrow morning
Good Morning Texas
she's bringing a bunch of her large canvas photos over
to the TV studio early in the morning
she's never been on TV before
i think she's nervous but excited
i'm excited that she's getting some well-deserved attention
her photography is off the charts now
she's also been doing great since her last operation
the best she's felt in ages
i feel like both of us could go on the Oprah show
and talk about what we've been through
if only there was still an Oprah show

so here we still are
same house
same cars
same jobs
still doing our thing
being a family
running around
grabbing this
collecting that
consuming
disposing
making stuff
throwing it out
loving
fighting
growing up
falling apart
coming together
struggling
celebrating
sleeping (not enough...)
trying to keep up with the up keeping
and still dreaming
i have my good days
and bad
just like you all do too
it's all part of being humants, right?
things continually changing
and also remaining the same
as we try and make our way through this life
without being squashed
the ups
the downs
and everything in-between

back in '06
right before Jayme had another operation
i started writing things here
it was therapeutic
and then i kept doing it
hundreds of entries
thousands of words
it went on for several years
and now there are volumes of words to be found
right here
an archive of sorts
documenting a chapter of my life
when i look back at it now
i feel strangely disconnected
who wrote all of this stuff
what was he doing?
why did he do it?
where did all these words come from?

and now that i've finally come back here again
it feels a bit like stepping in to the old, worn out slippers
of someone whose gone away and left you
nothing but a pair of old, worn out slippers

saint georges

2011-10-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

once when i was sick and running a fever
strange memories floated in and out again
some about Mrs. Georges
way back in El Paso
she was me and my brother's
childhood friend's mother
her name was, Anne
she was a tiny, demure lady
only about 5'2"
with long red hair
she usually kept it neatly tied back
and wore small, conservative wire framed glasses
we'd always pass by her bedroom
on our way to the TV/lounge room area
and sneak peaks in at a scene that almost never changed
it was as if it had been frozen in time
the curtains were always drawn
even on the sunniest of el paso afternoons
and almost always Mrs. Georges would be there
on the bed
playing solitaire
cigarette in hand, TV going
small cocktail on the nightstand
during the day
she was curt
with short clipped answers
she hardly ever had much to say except when she was shouting orders to her son
but as night would descend and wear on
anne would emerge from her bedroom solitaire match to refresh her drink
then wander into the TV room with a twinkle in her eye
she was suddenly gregarious and chatty
we usually didn't know what to say
we’d sit there uncomfortably
waiting for her to get bored with us and retreat back to her room
sometimes she’d just sit down and hang out
making sly asides and witty banter almost as though she were talking to herself
the next day
she'd slowly pull open the big oak front door
like it weighed a thousand pounds
standing in her bathrobe
hair down
dishevelled and wild
she’d barely even a nod for hello
our arrival seemed like nothing but a nuisance to her
she'd call out from her bedroom
"Jeffrey!! Jeffrey!!
i need you to run and fetch me some more beefamato!!"
”what was that?” we wondered
i tasted it once out of curiosity
and nearly spit it back out in disgust
she went through bottles and bottles of it
we were fascinated
we had no idea why she was doing this

it wasn't until many years later
that we realized beefamato was her hangover remedy
we'd been oblivious to it all
in our innocence we’d almost entirely missed what she was going through
when i was still in college
i heard she’d fallen down a steep flight of stairs
when it happened
she was making her way to a cocktail
while vacationing in their winter condo 1 xmas
drunk or buzzing no doubt
the tumble didn't kill her though
she was apparently surprisingly limber
or just drunk enough to be super elastic
she made it a few years past that
but not many
i heard the injuries shortened her life considerably
she was after all
a very small
frail person

originally posted 5/21/08:

the piano tuner tuned the hell outta Billy's U1
and talked a lot about Uriah Heap
while Bob and Billy ate Phil's burgers
and i sat on the funmaker bench
Bob took my advice and went with the 78704
a wise choice
from a very wise man
once the piano was ready to go
Billy moved his drums into the control room
while Bob and i ran over the song a couple of times
i stood behind him and strummed along
at least i know "saint georges" pretty well
it has a lot of words but i've played it live
more than any other song in the bunch
Bob and i sounded pretty good together right away
no real surprise there
the guy's a major talent
it did feel a bit weird to think the last time we played
one of my songs together was in El Paso
in 1988
a lot of life had certainly happened to both of us
since then
i wonder how he felt
he never said...
maybe i should've asked him?

anyway after 15 minutes of rehearsal
i went to the back of the house
where Billy had set up two mics for me in the amp room
we started recording
Billy on drums in the control room (front bedroom)
Bob on piano in the living room
me in the back singing and strumming the acoustic
before take 5
a little song came to me
and i started singing it
Bob and Billy fell right in behind
it was kind of a magical moment
Billy hit record and we got it all
i'm gonna use it somehow
after take 5 of "saint georges"
we all agreed it was good enough
and we started overdubbing on it
Bob played a second piano part with an unbelievable cool
manic ending
i was really happy with it now
he'd plugged into the "crazy" side a bit
and i relaly suited the story
then i asked him to sing some of the chorus vocal lines
"what is your name...what was your game?"
the plan was to stack his voice with Billy's and mine
for our gang style backups
"the kids" asking saint georges about her life
i think it pretty much turned out exactly how i'd envisioned it
which is actually rare
Bob's piano a little skewed in all the right places
Billy thumpy kick drum and floor tom
perfectly sparse
we'd accomplished exactly what i'd hoped
Bob was gone by 5:30 to hang out with his son
Billy and i still had a lot to do
since it was our last day
we fixed some vocal lines on "georges"
and did a rough mix

love is all around

2011-10-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

i still remember the dream i had
as clearly as the clearest real life memory i have
even now
3 and a half years later
clear as day
a young kid, maybe 21
with shoulder length wavy dark brown hair
in a brown vest over a tan tunic and loose fitting tarp pants
was showing me how to play guitar
my fingers were awkward and fumbling
yet he smiled patiently
pointing to where i needed to place them on the fretboard
to make the right chords
i fumbled for what seemed like hours and then days
he never once lost patience
always smiling calmly, nodding and encouraging me to not get frustrated
then i was suddenly on a stage
with him and his band
playing to an arena filled with thousands of people
they were on their feet
singing along to each and every word
he was at the front singing and smiling
while i sheepishly fumbled with my guitar
back near the drums
burying my head in the mess of chords i'd made
a panic came over me
i didn't know how the song went or even how to play guitar
in front of all of these people
but he just looked back at me as he played
and smiled
in his eyes i could clearly get the message
"come on - you can do it Salim...just play"
and then a montage sequence began
us playing this song over and over again
to thousands of smiling, singing kids all over the world
arena after arena
by the end i was no longer fumbling
i was smiling and singing too
right beside my young teacher
when i awoke
the song we had been playing
was still there
fully in tact - melody and words
i called it "love is all around"

posted on 4/14/08:

i hardly ever remember my dreams
it's a running joke in our household
Jayme wakes up every morning
and gloriously re-counts every last detail
of her previous night's dream
down to the minutia of what she was wearing
or what the axe of the monster who was chasing her
tasted like
and usually
i've got nothing but a bad taste in my mouth
and a rat building a nest in my hair
i know i hear music a lot
i grind my teeth to the beat
i know i hear new melodies and songs
that i've never heard before
but no matter how much the music plays on
in my dreams
the second the shutters come up
and my eyes hit the morning light
the music is gone
like a puff of smoke
vanished
in thin air
and i can't remember a thing
it's always so frustrating

so i welcome you now
my friends
to my freaky freaky dream...

a kid with curly brown hair
and really piercing blue eyes
wearing some sort of vaguely futuristic threads
kinda baggy burlappy grey duds
was showing me how to play his songs on guitar
he was really patient
and kind to me
even though i could barely play them
he would smile at me gently every time
my hands fumbled over a chord
"remember...it's this way"
and his hands would glide down the neck
to always find the right chord
it was effortless for him
we worked on the songs for a long time
i was playing a red sunburst Rickenbacker
with 3 pickups kinda shaped like a Gibson sg
(for those non-guitar enthusiasts - sorry!!)
but i don't think there is such a guitar in existence
anyway
after a lot of practicing
he tells me
"ok - now it's time to go play with my band"
i remember frantically trying to plug all my gear in
onstage
while thousands of fans screamed
and jumped up and down
the band started playing without me
the boy looked back over his shoulder at me
and smiled
"it's ok..." he nodded
but i still couldn't get my guitar going
and was getting really upset
so then he stopped the band with a wave of his hand
and said "let's wait until Salim is ready..."
the audience was fine with it
they waited too
and when i was finally ready
we kicked into the first song
i immediately forgot everything i'd learned
i was a tangle of fingers and thumbs
he looked at me again and smiled
so kind
so calm
and said "remember...this way"
chords back and forth from high to low
and then i got it
and started playing them the right way
the next thing i know it's montage time...

we're playing their hit song
all over the world
kids singing along and smiling
jumping up in down in slow motion
the boy looking over his shoulder between vocal lines
to smile at me
while i strummed my red Rickenbacker effortlessly
over and over we play this beautiful song
a high soaring melody
so innocent and carefree
over and over again
to people all over the world
joy
happiness
fun
the song is so beautiful
i am in euphoric bliss
and then i wake up...

the song is still with me
all of it
the entire melody intact
it sounds like nothing i would ever write on my own
a gift from my dream friend

thank you

love

s

posted on 4/15/08:

i walked over to Billy's house around noon
only 15 minutes by foot
(it's only 2 by car)
it was another perfect day
cool and sunny
not even the slightest breeze
what were the odds that L and L would live so close
to the only guy in texas i'd want to make a record with?
when i got to Billy's house
he was playing a beautiful finger picked song
on his couch
"it's not finished..." he smiled
it was really cool
i'm looking forward to hearing it when it's done
"so what do you want to do today?" he asked
i got out the scrap of paper with the dream song's lyrics
srawled on it
and laid it at my feet
then i played it for him
quietly singing the high soft melody
my dream friend had sent me
i felt kinda self-conscious
wondering what on earth Billy was gonna think of this
was it just silly
or totally gay?
after i finished he immediately said
"i think we should record this!"
i was pleasantly stunned
so then i told him the story
about the dream and this strange kid
who taught me his songs
i also realized it was weirdly symbolic
that in the dream i was my current age
yet fumbling around nervously not knowing anything
agitated about performing
and the kid was calm cool and relaxed
teaching me how to play
assuring me the whole time that it would be ok
Billy said it was a great melody
at first he was taken aback by the high vocal
but agreed that we should leave it in the original key
and not over-think it
we could layer the vocal in a wall of sound
he also smiled and said
"guess what? i hear drums on this one!"
so then we got to it
big dumb acoustic guitar strums first
then layers of vocals
billy set up the drumkit in the control room
and played the hell out of it
then i put down some bass in about 15 minutes
which is significant for me
because i resisted the urge to over-analyze it
normally i work on my bass parts for at least an hour or two
after that billy played the castanets
some harmonies
then at the very end
added a little wurlizter bit on the last chorus of the song
we both felt very satisfied
and happy with all of our progress
so we decided to knock it on the head
and call it a day
it was a fun
totally spontaneous experience
that could have only happened here
with billy's encouragement
i know i would have normally ruminated on something like this
for months
tinkered with the key
and the words
waiting for the right moment to strike
well today the right moment was NOW
i'm glad we just went for it

it made for one of the most memorable recording experiences
i've ever had

the man who learned to love

2011-10-08T03:30:00.000-07:00

"waiting and wasting a lifetime away 'til you came..."

i think this was the last song i wrote for Constellation
i've never been much of a love song writer
not even sure if i'd even ever written one
or at least if i did
i always banished them to the "never record" bin
anyway, at the time i wrote this song
i was really in to playing my recently purchased Guild Mark II
nylon stringed acoustic
i would sit on the bench in the back room of our house
while Jayme would be on the computer
stare out in to the backyard
and just noodle around on this wonderful guitar
one day this pattern came to me
and just about all of the words too
a very simple sentiment
after the realization that maybe i didn't really, truly know what love was all about
until Jayme came in to my life

"winter lasted all year long
heartless bastard never thawed"

originally posted on 4/17/08:

"so whatdaya got today?"
i'm feeling like doing one with rambunctious drums
i'm thinking "it's not enough"
Billy's not feeling it today so he mentions
this finger picked bossanova one called
"the man who learned to love"
i'm down with that
so i get out my old Guild spanish guitar
and start playing it
he says he loves this one
it's like a "flower that just opens up at the end"
we both agree it's worth recording
he puts a Korby c-12 on the guitar
i cut it to a click because the weird rhythm has to be locked
in to something
after 3 takes we do 3 takes of vocals
Billy says it's so nice he doesn't want to start throwing things
on it just because we can

pictures collected

2011-10-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

"a picture of an Uncle who died when he was young..."

i lied when i said
"no one died in 1978..."
my Uncle Richard did
i'll never forget the sound of my Mother's sobbing
after she hung up the phone in our kitchen
i've never heard anything like it since
Richard was a wonderful & interesting person
he played piano
loved classical music
was well-read
thoughtful
funny
valedictorian
scholar
traveler
environmentalist
taught at Rice university
died of cancer when i was 11
when i wrote this song
i was almost the same age as he was when he took his last breath

"pictures collected" started out as a little ditty about only being able to see out of one eye
i've been practically blind in my left eye since i was a kid
i soon realized "one eye" was going to be dreadfully misinterpreted
so i scrapped all the words
and re-wrote them

"Gentlemen take Polaroids in leisure suits
soldiers snapping photos in their combat boots"

back in the '80s
my sister Miriam was a huge fan of the English band
Japan
i snuck the gentlemen take polaroids line in for her
did she ever catch that and get a laugh out of it?
i hope so...

the following was originally posted on 5/16/08, the day after Billy Harvey & i recorded "pictures collected"

Billy was on today
in spades
the guy is so in-tune with songs
it's almost freakish...

we tackled "pictures collected"
a bubbly little tune
about the way us humans collect memories
we both agreed that we wanted to steer it away
from Kinks terrain (sorry Ron!)
we tinkered with the structure and key for about an hour
once again
me with my back to the front door in the striped orange chair
Billy sitting on the brown velvety couch
something bothered him about the verse melody
it sounded like a harmony part to him
higher than the chorus melody and bridge
i'd never thought of that
that was just the way it came out when i wrote it
i never second guessed it
he suggested moving the key from A# to D
so that i could sing a lower vocal part on the verse
and once the chorus hit it wouldn't be an energy lag
he was right on
what he said made a lot of sense
it did to this song what the French revolution did to France
well except for no one was be-headed

he built a strange drum loop around
get this
slamming the front door shut
over and over again
then looping it
this was our "snare drum" sound
at first i gotta admit i saw no way that this song
was gonna work to the loop
it felt kinda lurching
and contrary to the rhythm i heard in my head
but i didn't despair
i trusted him
there's no reason on earth not too
he's a pro
as Drakoulias would say "pro looks and chops"
so i just relaxed and enjoyed the ride
we put down a bass part first based around this Day Tripperish riff i had
then Billy plugged his Hofner Galaxy in
this time through a Rangemaster pedal
and POW!
crazy cool tone
i'm serious
one of the coolest tones ever
sounded like a straight up '60s Vox cranked
all from this pedal
it was raise the hair on your forearms hair raising
and the part he played
even better
we were kinda coming at this tune even more backwards
than usual
it was challenging
at one point 3 hours in it still sounded like a complete mess
but by the time we wrapped
around 10:30
we had a pretty decent little groove happening
me plucking away on Billy's Rickenbacker bass
some swingin' acoustic guitar
and this weird loop that somehow worked
i'm a believer baby
and i was a believer coming into today
but now i'm really a believer!

back to unfinished business: the wrong raod

2011-10-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

"do you ever get the feeling your life could've been
something better, more appealing than what i became?"

the wrong road came along one late night
on my way home from the Barley House
a simple sentiment really
haven't we all made a mess of our lives at one time or another?
then wondered "what if i'd taken another path?"
instead of the one we chose
i think i was thinking of a Nourallah Brothers reunion at the time
i know i was thinking about F singing those words
in his woeful soulful way
i also wanted it to be slyly smile inducing
not to take itself too seriously
because the humor in self-pity is well,
that it's oh-so dramatic
this might be my favorite 2 lines i'd ever written

"you expect the world to hold you in her arms and weep
and the terrible decisions you now clearly see"

here's what i originally wrote about recording the song:

Billy says
"so what do you wanna do?"
uh...
i don't know
i feel like nothing
sometimes the morning is not really my most creative time
i play "it's not enough"
a new one i like a lot
he says it's good
but he thinks the bridge might be too long
and it gets a bit depressing
i don't know
i like the long bridge
and the dark bit
so he says
"what about 'the wrong road'?"
yeah
i know that one is ready
so i play it for him
he kinda perks up and says "that one's killer"
let's do it
"you should play it on electric"
i know what guitar
he opens a closet in the front room
and pulls out an old beat up case
he carefully lays it down on the living room floor
and slowly uncovers a cherry red Gibson 335
just like Carter used to play
i was more than a little stunned
it was weird
so i play this beautiful guitar and sing
live
with no click
and after about 3 takes he says
"i think we've got a good one"
we start overdubbing
some backup vocals first
he puts the vocal mic in the washing machine
and has me sing into it
it sounds like i'm in a cave
then we both play bass
billy is starting to look tired
"i haven't eaten today" he says
i look at the clock
it's already 4
"let's get some food"
so we go to this place called phil's
i order the "78704" with a veggie patty
it's the best burger i;ve ever had
jalapeno cheese bun with sauteed onions
jack cheese and jalepenos
i cannot stress to you how good this thing was
and to top it off
these crazy sweet potato fries
that tasted awesome with it
(and i don't even like sweet potatoes!!)
when got back to the house Billy had a lot more energy
he's like Jayme i think
he forgets to eat sometimes
she does the same thing
so then he puts down some percussion stuff
a shaky thing
floor tom
then we play some floor toms together
he pulls out this crazy cool epiphone guitar
a 1960s red number
totally rare
i've never seen one like it
he does 2 takes of guitar
it's fantastic
then we set up two mics facing each other
and play dueling acoustic guitars
Lisa and Lee show up to get me
at 9:30
another 10 hours gone
in 5 minutes

the Bear

2010-12-12T19:01:00.000-08:00

like the bear gone into hibernation
collecting thoughts
i'm sleeping
to collect feelings
like fluffy white dream sheep
it's snowing all around
cold
and lonesome
the trees shiver
the ground moans
the hair on my face grows
and grows
sideburns need mowing
shadow needs towing
i'm in the cave
fast asleep
the world spins past my face
a trail of paper
a trail of haste
waiting for Spring
waiting for a reason
waiting for the time to come again
when i awake

.

don't mind me

2010-08-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

"violent words spill from my mouth
from broken thoughts i spit them out

don’t mind me today"

oh when tempers flare
isn't it hysterical?
is yours a mean growling bear
or a snivelling Golem?
do you use harsh cruel words
shouted or spat
fists and kicks
punches and hurdled vases
waving a finger from the open window of a motor vehicle
or bumping chests in the middle of a crowded dancefloor
stuffing bullets into the open compartment of your gun
firing at the door while someone bangs on the other side
hi-jacked by our egos
in the throes of madness
there's nothing we wouldn't do
out of rage
out of spite
to ourselves
or our loved ones

"on days it comes to this
your patience i request
if i came to you on bended knees
begging forgiveness please"

"don't mind me" was written in a flash May 2007
it was the only song off of "constellation" that i played live before recording it
a year later Billy helped me make some of the words better
and he also added some nice chords to the solo break
Dufilho and Garner played some bass and drums for the "single" version
upon Tapete's request
it happened one crazy afternoon while we took a break from working on Rhett's record
and Jason Janik snapped photos of Winslow Bright on the couch
behind the recording console
it felt like the Record Plant or something
with Winslow's publicist barking directions at Janik while his camera click click clicked
and John and Jason rocked away
i 'll always remember that absurd moment...

there's not much else to say about this one
or than i like to perform it with the band - it feels good

it's not enough

2010-07-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

i remember the very moment this song came to me...

driving up the slope of our street
Gavin in the backseat
past a gigantic house on my right
with the yellow Hummer in the drive
and a giant inflatable Statue of Liberty
in the front yard

"get born, get ahead
snatch it all up like they said...it's not enough"

April 2, 2oo8
i was leaving for Austin
to record with Billy Harvey
in about a week
this one came spilling out
in a flash
i made a demo for Billy right away
it felt good to write quickly again
"the Man Who Learned to Love"
had preceded this one by only 5 days
i felt like i was on a roll
going to make a record with a songwriter as good as B.H.
inspired me
i didn't want to show up with B-grade stuff
when i pictured myself playing him songs i knew were just "ok"
looking down at my shoes in embarrassment
and making disclaimers
the thought horrified me
i was determined (even with plenty of time constraints)
to show up with as many good songs as i could muster up

"it's Not Enough"
turned out to be the bear of the bunch
the most difficult one to record mainly because of the sprawling
song-within-a-song psychedelic middle section
we wrestled with that section up until the very end
i loved the harmony vocals Billy put in that part
i kept asking for Lars Goransson, who was finishing the mix on it
to TURN THEM UP!
finally we just put Billy front and center
and shoved my lower vocal to the side
if i'd had it my way Billy's voice would have carried the entire bridge

"when i was a boy
laying in the grass
i would always dream
of what i didn’t have"

a subtle nod to the Nourallah Brothers "those days are gone"

"i’m an old man now
and the flowers are in bloom
and all the pretty young things
pass by my window
...i’d gladly give up my soul for another go"

another nod
but to Bob Schneider's beautiful, poignant and funny "Swimsuit Season"

the recording features our 1st usage of the Optigan
with a loop on the chorus we snagged off of it
Billy played the wicked bass part
i played the main electric guitar
i never cared for my lead vocal much on this one
so i kept having Lars and Billy lo-fi it up
with distortion and EQ
still wish i'd sang it again
oh, well...

ce la vie!

dreaming of carter

2010-07-25T15:54:00.000-07:00

this is a re-post from 5/18/08

something happened to me this morning
that's never happened to me before
not once in 14, 600 days here
i woke up crying
sobbing in fact
i was dreaming of carter
begging him not to leave
he was there
clear as day
we'd been hanging out talking
but then he said he had to go
when the light hit my eyes
tears were streaming down my face
it was terrible

i got to billy's around 1:30
we decided to turn our attention ro "the man who learned to love"
as it was the starkest of the bunch
only some fingered picked acoustic guitar so far
lead vocals and a slight bit of synths billy had put down quickly
at the end of last night's session
it wasn't "doing it" for either of us
something was just slightly not kick ass enough
so billy said
"how 'bout we start over?"
sounded good to me
so i re-cut my acoustic part
this time on an epiphone he's strung with flat wound strings
to give it kinda of a duller more muted sound
i re-sang the lead vocal
on the groove tubes AM61 again
this vocal was a definite improvement
already the song was sounding a lot better
then i asked billy to sing the harmonies instead of me
we doubled tracked a few throughout the song
and once again the mojo of our two voices together
was working in spades
the song was really beginning to sound good now
but the real push over the top came when billy started playing his
j-45 acoustic
he instantly came up with a part that took what we were doing from
pretty good to pretty badass
we worked on that for about an hour and then decided to take a break
it was around 7pm now
we went up to a bohemian coffee shop
the kind that you would only find in austin
all kinds of arty bored kinds hanging about
reading
listening to music
and killing time
it was actually kind of an amusing scene
like we'd stepped into some sort of '80's john waters film
but i enjoyed getting something different than what you get in dallas
post zen bohemia we went back to billy's house
we only had half an hour before he had to leave
to work on his own record
at craig ross' house
i asked billy to put some harmony vocals on
"in the blink of an eye"
i turned the lights down in the front room
and opened the front door
the cool breeze blew in
while i sat in the orange striped chair
and listened with headphones
the song took me back
it sounded so inviting and warm
i thought of carter again
and how much i miss him

in the blink of an eye

2010-07-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

overcome by sadness
i sat on the pale green couch in our living room
and these words came out

"you’re gone now, you're gone
you’re gone in the blink of an eye"

Ryann told us Carter had made a pact with her
that if something ever happened to one of them
they would leave feathers as a sign
to show that they were still out there
...somewhere...

my son happily played in the living room
while this song about my dead friend came to me
then he said "daada, what is this?"
and pulled a long white feather out of the vase
on the coffee table in front of me

it's hard for me to say too much more about this song
here instead is an excerpt that refers to its recording with Billy Harvey:

sunday april 13, 2008

"let's do, blink of an eye" billy said
"ok...why not?" i thought
billy told me to play it for him
right there on the couch in the living room
after i rang the last chord he mentioned some things about the structure
so we worked on that a bit
then i went into the vocal room
and started playing it live
he got a click track going for me
which made me laugh
i said he didn't have to do that
he said he wanted to
i gotta admit
it felt good having back my "brassiere"
we spent about an hour working on getting the right tempo
and fiddling with the song structure
once we had a good take
we started overdubbing
it was off to the races
everything we did worked instantly
and it felt kinda like we'd been making music together for much longer
than 1 and a half days
billy came up with another super cool
piano part
really evocative and haunting
i picked up the foot long casio sk-1 and the first sound i chose
was perfect for this little part i was thinking about
it was just one of those days
everything we did was easy
and toward the end something happened to me
that has never happened in all my years of making music
billy was playing his hofner electric guitar
and then i closed my eyes
and it sounded exactly like carter
although billy had never met him or seen him play before
what he was playing sounded identical to carter's very
distinctive way of bending notes
and then i was overtaken
i couldn't help it
tears welled up and there i was
sitting behind billy
crying like a baby
it felt like carter was right there with us
i will never forget that moment

it has already made all of this more worthwhile
than i could have ever imagined

be here now

2010-07-14T14:53:00.000-07:00

"it's such a beautiful day
why am i so far away?

...i want to be here now"

struggling with some sort of A.D.D. has been a challenge
especially now that i'm a father
i want to experience each and every moment with my children
free from the endless mental chatter
that comes with being a "grown up" trying to survive in a grown up world
thinking about mortality
mortgages
bills to pay
wasting days
injuries
friendjuries
jury duty
taxes
audits
schedules
lawsuits
worn out shoes
money coming in
money going out
repairs
maintenance
calendars
bookings
is Jayme cooking?
errands
phone calls
emails
tours
commissions
tuition's
exhibitions
records
hecklers
lyrics
deadlines
unfinished songs
conversations gone wrong
errant software
empty radiators
doing the dishes
lack of insurance
blogs
bullies
haters
shooters
looters
gigs
rehearsals
parents
siblings
breakfast
lunch
dying
dinner
it never ends
it never stops
it's never enough
it's always too much
one minute i'm sitting in my son's room playing with him
next minute i'm gazing slack jawed out the window
lost in a sea of useless thoughts
why all the maneuvering?
the pushing
the pulling
the doing...
are we humans or humants?
running around
grabbing this
collecting that
planning
calculating
nesting
cultivating
consuming
disposing
reproducing
but all the while
what do we ever really have?
all we have is this very moment
and look
now it's gone
did you soak it all in
as good as you could?

an excerpt posted on 5/15/08 about the recording of "B.H.N."

i woke up with this sentence stuck in my cranium

"i wanna give in to the moment of my choosing"

i know
it may not sound like much
but this has been my struggle
in real life
and also with this song
it was the line i needed to finish "be here now"
it was so simple
but so elusive
the key to finishing the chorus
the whole point
i'd been wrestling with this lyrical bear
for months
it felt good to get another message from lalaland
thank you lala nourallah

when i got to billy's house
i re-cut the vocal on b.h.n. with the final lyrics
then we worked on some electric guitar
he played his hofner galaxy through this badass boss re-20 delay
the sound was gigantic
when he gets on the guitar
the fun especially begins
that's his #1 instrument and it shows
he's brilliant
after that we put down some electric piano
a part i know rip (r.r. to you diehards) will dig
very supertramp!
i thought of him the whole time
more indian food followed
(i know i know, typical)
at the star of india buffet this time
(i only made one trip friends...)
and a good lefler style hang at momo's after that
for kacey crowley's cd release show
her and her band sounded amazing

stranger in my own skin

2010-07-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

in 25 years my father has never attended a single one of my shows
he's done plenty of other things that i appreciate though
so i'm mostly ok with it now
music is such an important part of my life
in the past i struggled to understand why he chose to do this
it hurt me
i wished he could've been more involved in my life
but the again, it's inspired me to be different with my kids

for years i threw press clippings related to my music
into a large green box
the box sat in a corner of Pleasantry Lane
a couple of years ago my friend Lisa
gave me a really thoughtful Christmas present
she started a scrapbook for me with show paraphernalia, set lists, reviews
and some pics
it got me thinking that it would be nice to pull out all that stuff
sitting in the green box
and make a nice scrapbook out of it
maybe years later my son could see what his old man was up to
when he was a kid
a nice idea, yeah, but a big time suck of an undertaking
especially for someone with no extra time to spare
Jayme swooped in to the rescue
she offered to help me out - which made it all possible
still it felt kind of strange and adult/boring dropping G off with his Grandparents one afternoon
so we could go home and scrapbook
once we emptied the contents of the green box
and finished the book i was kinda proud of it
it was a lot of work in the non ditch digging variety
J's pages looked especially awesome and arty
it had sentimental value to me
it contained a lot of stuff that sort of summed up most of what i'd been up to
since i'd left El Paso
i wanted to share it with my parents
i wanted them to be proud of me
to say i hadn't wasted my life chasing around foolish dreams

one afternoon i took my son by to see them and i brought the book along too
i was excited and nervous about sharing it with them
while i watched my father uncomfortably skim through it
in about 3 minutes flat
i had a sort of out of body experience
i saw the little kid that i used to be
being dropped out of a space ship over the Franklin Mountains
i saw that kid being raised in El Paso
all those years feeling like an alien
like a stranger in his own house
like a stranger in his own skin
when i left my parents house that day
i might as well have gotten into a spaceship
and shot off to Mars
i felt like they had no idea what i did with my life
while i was anywhere else but sitting in front of them

in their own living room

on the way home from my parent's house that day
"stranger in my own skin" came to me
i wrote it straight away once i got home

here's a bit about the recording of stranger - originally posted on 4/17/08:

we started at 5:30
i was feeling a little uptight
about tracking one of the best songs
i feel like i've ever written
"stranger in my own skin"
it came out in 10 minutes
one evening a couple of months ago
after a visit to my parent's house
billy told me at the end of yesterday's session
"let's do stranger tomorrow..."
the past 24 hours thinking about it
iced me
when i showed up
he says
"i'm feeling like pictures tonight"
i felt relieved for some reason
so i happily started playing that one
even though in me heart i felt like it was half the song
billy got out his orange framus electric
and totally bad-ass guitar
and pondered the end of my bridge
after about 15 minutes he suddenly changes direction
"let's do stranger!"
i'm totally relaxed now
ready to tackle it
and guess what?
it was the easiest one to date
a little strum strum on billy's j-45
the tempo there right away
3 vocal takes
then billy puts down some spacey electric guitar
in 2 takes
discovers two new amazing melodies
that immediately unlock the atmospheric world
this song is going to live in
then some fender rhodes electric piano from billy
in 1 take
i hear a wurlitzer part and put it down
billy sings some incredible harmonies
in just 4 hours we have one of the most developed
great sounding recordings of the batch

western hills

2010-07-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

Western Hills was the name of the elementary school i attended in El Paso
from kindergarten through 5th grade
roughly 1972 to 1978
it was at the very bottom of the steep hill of a street we lived on
called Constellation
6224 to be exact
from the patio on the East side of our house
you could see right down the middle of El Paso del Norte "the pass of the north"
the copper refinery Asarco loomed way off in the distance
its huge smokey chimneys towering over the banks of the Rio Grande
the lights of Juarez stretched out beyond the factory and into blackness
it was an incredible view i probably took for granted most of my life

from my bedroom window, facing North
stood the Franklin mountains
they partially adorn the Constellation album cover
lifted from a Polaroid taken by my mother
around 1970
the city no longer looks like it does in this picture

this song originally had an entirely different lyric
i really struggled to find words i liked to fit the chorus melody
the "western hills, western hills, western hills i'm there still..." refrain
finally came to me one morning
i'd obsessed over it for weeks
after that it was off to the races
the words came pouring out
a sister song of sorts to "1978"
it opens with a recollection of being in 1st grade
with my face hogging glasses
the beginning of feeling different from the other kids

"brother F is crying from a bullies’ rock
i’m the lone avenger with revenge to plot"

one day i came home from school and my brother was crying loudly
he must've only been in 2nd or 3rd grade
he told me Chad Sorenson had thrown a boulder on him
the next day i punched Chad in the face
and told him to never mess with my kid brother again
when F was a teen he got his nose broken by a kid who was trying to impress
his sister with his ability to throw a left hook
the kids parents said they'd pay for F's nose fix
since it was obviously their son's wrongdoing
they quickly changed their minds and stopped returning phone calls about it
i then cooked up a scheme to steal the bullies' guitars and give them to my brother
as payback
it was one of the dumbest things i've ever done

"sitting on the blacktop at the end of class
betting if the jam was better than the clash"

in the days of my youth
endless hours of musical debate took place
mainly between my brother and i
sometime with our friend Jeff G. included
we really did once go album by album
song by song
to try to determine who was better
the Jam or the Clash
we also tried to figure out if U2 or the Alarm would be better
if they just swapped lead singers

"under cover ear pressed to the radio
cutting off transmission of guitar solo"

i did have an old transistor radio
that i'd listen to at night
under the covers
with the volume turned way down low
as to not arouse the suspicion of my parents
i'd pick up stations from Colorado
like KCOS and KOA
high school basketball
the Denver Nuggets and the Alan Berg show http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Berg
(Berg later took 13 bullets in his driveway for being a liberal)
El Paso radio was all heavy metal and classic rock shite
from an early age i developed a hatred for the guitar solo
i decided it was an instrument vital to this crap medium
i really would literally turn the dial if one came on
when i started writing songs later
i intentionally left out guitar solos
please take note of the lack of guitar solo on this recording
as well as the 11 other songs on Constellation!
Billy did however sneak a banjo on to "Western Hills
how he made that god awful instrument sound cool is a true testament to his genius!

excerpt from the recording of "Western Hills" 5/15/08

i didn't sleep well last night
a bass part idea
for "western hills"
looped in my brain
for 12 hours
over and over
and over again
it tormented me
i woke up at 7am
after a fitful night
of tossing and turning
with "bah da bah da"
thumping in my brain
all night long
we went to borden creek
for some breakfast taco galore
bass loop still going full throttle
driving me nutso
i was beginning to even get a little snappy
when it took half an hour for our tacos to arrive
ready to go off on someone with a tofu stick!
at 2pm i finally found peace
billy put me out of my misery
by letting me tack this instrumental idea
onto the end of "western hills"
and my bass loop jumped from my brain
and into the song
i was able to finally let go of my little thumping buddy!!
we worked another 3 hours on "w.h."
added the wah-wah trumpet from the wurlitzer
and a few other things
we agreed it sounded great and then moved on

the constellation song by song

2010-06-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

on this very blog
over the past few years
i've written song by song commentaries for each of my solo records
and the Nourallah Brothers record too
i think enough time has passed
for me to be far away enough from the making of Constellation
to cover it now

endless dream days

"oh so long so long ago
when we were young and shunned the old"

this song was intended to be the Nourallah brothers comeback anthem
the sister song to "those days are gone"
which kicked off the NB record all those years ago
the we i refer to at the top of this song are my brother and i as children
but it could also be referring to any children
when i wrote i knew it was the lead track on whatever the next album would be
Billy and i also recorded it first
in every rough mix cd i burned it was always first
there was never any doubt
that it would open the album
a Roy Orbisonesque dramatically soaring chorus
and verse melody that moves around more than anything else i've ever written
instantly separates "endless dream days" from other tunes in my back catalogue

i've always been intrigued by the promise that life holds for us
especially when we're children
the next time you see a homeless person try picturing them as the 5 year old child
they once were
so full of joy and life
so open to the promise of things to come
who could ever have known how it would all turn out?

"life was but a mystery
a work of art that we’d conceive
and all it’s gifts would be revealed
laid out at our feet"

this lyric partly expresses how i felt as a child
i couldn't wait to get at the world
to snatch up all the dreams i had inside my head
only later would i learn that it wasn't that easy...

the recording features the first appearance of the upright bass
on any of my records
Bruce Hughes played it in one of our final sessions for the record
it takes the song even a bit further out from the conventional
Billy's harmony vocals are also stunning
on the 2nd chorus they've given me chills on more than one occasion
the piano track was supposed to be Billy's scratch track
it was only the 1st or 2nd time he'd made it through the song
so he hadn't had time to really finalize a part
when we went back and tried to do the "proper" take
we both realized there was something magical about the original track
so we kept it
it's so evocative
and freeform
his piano part perfectly captures the hazy days of youth that this song portrays
you know Billy doesn't even consider himself to be a keyboard player
how's that for being humble?

this is a recounting of the recording of "endless dream days from 4/12/08

it was a beautiful sunny cool morning in austin
billy and i met at 11
over at his house
he rolled up on a little black scooter
laughing right away about his entrance
we talked a bit in the front room
of his house
and then went to grab some breakfast
it was fun for me to finally hear
what songs he liked
and his thoughts on what kind of record
we were gonna try and make
a lot of the things he said
i'd already thought
like about not making it center
around the bass and drums
trying alternative methods of recording
starting with just voice and guitar
and building the recordings from there
when we got back to his house
he had me play "stranger in my own skin"
to me this one feels like a centerpiece
of the record
kind of like how i felt about "hang on" on snowing
and "the world is full of people" on BN
we spent about an hour tweaking the song structure
i'd wrestled a lot with it over the past few months
interestingly billy had me return to the structure
i'd originally come up with when i wrote the song
i like the way he tracks the emotion of a song
when he listens
that's what i'm always looking for
after that he set up a couple of mics
and had me play it live
right off the bat one funny moment was when i asked
"where's the click track?"
and he said "uh...i never use a click"
the "click" is a metronome or time keeper
i use them religiously
it's my sonic brassiere!
so immediately i was blasted outta my comfort zone
and although it felt strange
like walking around a mall no pants on
this is exactly what i've been looking forward to
breaking out of my comfort zone
and shaking up my way of doing things
after a few takes of "stranger..." billy asked me to play
"endless dream days"
which is another one of the "big" ones
i knew from the moment i wrote it that it was a good one
but was also probably going to be an absolute bitch
to record
so we waded into to it
trying to figure out the best way for the acoustic guitar to go
i think billy read my reaction to the no click thing
and tried to put me at ease by making a tambourine loop
for me to play along with on this one
i put down a couple of gingerly played acoustic guitars
and then sang
it felt really good to sing
and although this is the hardest vocal part of all of the songs
i felt good
and sang pretty well
billy then started playing his piano
which is strangely just like mine
a black yamaha upright
the melody he came up with immediately blew the doors
off of the arrangement
it was obvious to me that this was where the song needed to go
a whole world was opening up for it
since the piano was pretty outta tune
we put down a scratch track
to remember his ideas
and decided to call it a day
while we were waiting for my ride to come
we jammed on "pictures collected"
a jaunty number about our obsession with photos
billy played the funmaker wurlitzer in his living room
i think we should maybe try this one on day 2
something lighter and easier
we went right out of the gate with the monsters
even though we're kinda like
two people learning how to dance with each other
for the first time

hiatus

2010-06-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

Q: what have you been up to during your hiatus?

A: well, that's a very good question...let's see...hmmm, raising the kids; working on the Old 97s double album (April/May/June) - with 2 trips to Austin to record and mix; playing lots of gigs; finishing records by Chris Holt & Gabrielle LaPlante; doing the dishes; taking out the trash; changing lots of diapers; eating Thai; buying Lasso western suits; running; not sleeping too much; trying to be here now; trying to keep up with mountains of bills; writing 2 albums worth of songs; trying to rest my injured left wrist

Q: have you missed writing on your blog? are you finished with it?

A: yes, i have missed it...i'm not "officially" done with it but i'm obviosuly struggling to find time to continue. it just hasn't even been an option lately...

Q: would you like to give any special "shout outs" to dedicated snowing in my heart readers out there?

A: oh yes! Grace in Mass/Marfa - hang tough kid!!! Birce in Turkey - where have you been? Lex in Austria - love you baby!! Colin in Australia - gud'day mate!

Q: can you tell us about your upcoming record/songs?

A: yes, i could but that might be too obvious...a wise man once said to me "good things come to those who wait..." well, i've been waiting my whole life for good to come...

Q: any summer music recommends?

A: the Drones "havilah"
Pete Doherty "grace/wasteland"
Dan kelly "dan kelly's dream"

Q: when can we look for you to be back?

A: i never left...

2010-03-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

a moment here, a moment there i was
and you were there but i was too caught up

obsessed
with petty things
none of which ended up ever mattering

success
and what it brings
distracted by the trinkets it was offering

i missed my own life
it’s true
i missed you

like in a dream that’s close enough to touch
i mined the distance trampled by the rush

we crave such useless things
all collecting tokens for our suffering
regret’s a funny thing
stolen from a moment there’s no altering

i missed my own life
it’s true
i missed you

i took it all for granted
and now i understand that
lessons are always learned after the mistake

i missed my own life
it’s true
and i missed you

drought = oasis

2010-03-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

i think i've been absent from this blog
just about as long as ever
although i haven't been posting anything here
there's been tons of things going on
maybe that's why i've been gone
i don't seem to have a free moment these days

songs have been pouring out
almost a song a day
songs coming to me as i drive
songs coming to me as i run
songs coming to me in my sleep
songs coming to me as i eat
i try to jot down bits of lyrics on scraps of paper
in between changing diapers
or holding Miette
sometimes i feel like a crazy person
frantically documenting whatever i can
in between stuffing packages with cds
or cutting out artwork to put in jewel cases
oh, the babies asleep?!!
quick - get something done!
oh, the babies awake?!
gotta get back to her!
i just got back from the post office
i had a box full of things
going out to people all over the country
it's been so much fun
but i'm so relieved i'm almost done fulfilling pledges
i hope everyone likes what they got from Santa Nourallah...

it's all rushing by in a blur
caught up in the doing
caught up in the pushing and pulling
paying bills
buying groceries
writing emails
running errands
making phonecalls
another day is here
another day already gone
for me
for you
for all of us
i finally carved out a few hours last week to finish working on the songwriting tapes
compilation i posted on Pledge Music
the best part was hearing Gavin in the background growing up
while i wrote and wrote and wrote
sounds of him as a little baby while i worked on "the world is full of people"
just like Miette sounds like now
sounds of him playing during "saint georges"
Dada in a trance again while son questions him
it made me sad
thinking about how quickly it's all going by
"stranger in my own skin" doesn't feel that old to me yet Gavin was only 3 & 1/2
when i wrote it
on the tape he sounds so different than he does now
i'm so glad that Miette is here with us
i want to hang on to each and every moment with her and Gavin
to try and stretch them out to last as long as possible
to make it all slow down
slow down to a crawl...
back to those long, slow days when i was a kid

2010-02-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

the positive response to my pledge music drive
has been overwhelming
74% there
and not even at the halfway mark
it's gotten me writing like crazy
the songs pouring out with ease
it's inspiring to know i might get another crack
at making a record
the wheels are turning
dreams
then plans
the adrenalin rush of creation
some of the new titles include
"miette" for my precious little crumb
"tokens of your cruelty" - inspired by a great line Jayme came up with
"my job is leaving" - a song for a man who doesn't work in his backyard!

i spent a lot of time this past week
working on "the bootleg anthology" for the pledge drive
4 dvds and 2 cds of unreleased stuff
best of video salim
live at good records 7/25/07
10 years in SPACE
rudyard's 7/30/08
the Constellation demos
from the songwriting tapes
it's been fun quickly designing the artwork
and putting them all together
i want you guys to really enjoy them
i'm taking care in their creation
the next step is to go to Crystal Clear and see if they can
press up a few in bulk for me

i just finished P. Carlin's book on McCartney
the recounting of Linda's final days
was particularly touching
it made me feel really sad for Paul and his kids
we're all very lucky to still be here

soak this day in
it's beautiful

love,

s

2010-01-25T14:46:00.000-08:00

after i finished constellation i knew i was at a crossroads
i'd been doing this song and dance routine of independently making records
for over 17 years
from nourallah brothers - done on an 8-track recorder in the corner of a converted garage
to polaroid - staying up all night recording while Jayme was making G in her belly
to snowing in my heart - stretched over the course of a year
each record had it's own story
and a different method of construction
ultimately i finagled my way through every one of them
because that was the ONLY way to create them
no financing from labels
or backing of any sort
all completely D.I.Y.
punk rock ideology without the punk rock music
even my recording studio Pleasantry Lane
was born out of the D.I.Y. ethic
when my brother and i realized we couldn't just sit around waiting for a label to give us
money to make our own records
we established a place to do it ourselves
and took the labels out of the equation
it was born out of necessity

when Billy and i put the finishing touches on constellation
roughly 18 months ago
i felt ok with walking away from making any more of my own records
i'd finally made the one i'd been wanting to make all these years
i enjoyed the feeling of peace
later on i told Observer music editor Pete Freedman
"yeah, this might be my last one..."
and then he wrote about it
after that people started asking me every now and then
"so, are you really not gonna make another one?"
i'd say "i don't know"
i honestly didn't know how i could it pull off again
unlike the Stones, time was definitely not on my side
1) with a baby on the way and tons of bills to pay
where was the time supposed to come from?
2) 99% of all PL artists self-fund their records
i have not and will not raise my studio rates right now because of this
that means if you look up the term "hamster on a wheel" the Wikipedia page might just have a picture of yours truly!
3) constellation was the first time in ages i took time off of work to focus on my own music
and it almost put my family in the poor house
up until November i had no plans to continue
other than still performing live
i felt like my making D.I.Y. records goose might finally be cooked...

in November
when i picked up my friend Alex Dezen from the airport
he told me about http://www.pledgemusic.com/
his band, the Damnwells, had parted ways with their last record label
but it didn't matter
they were planning to fund their next record themselves
via Pledge Music
i'd never heard of anything like this before
it blew my mind
it was a brilliant concept
the pledges are all incentive based
so that fans get stuff in return
for example - a pledge of $16 gets you a pre-order of the next cd
$750 - a house concert which you can sell tickets to (if you'd like) in order to recoup the cost
at the end of the pledge drive 10% even goes to charity
the whole concept is another great example of how the major label system
has crumbled
trying to finance records this way was unheard of even just 2 years ago

after Alex D. laid the Pledge Music info on me
it became obvious that this was the next step for me
my #1 priority now is trying to support my family
my own music has never been able to come close to doing that
so, with a little help i hope to soon be able to afford my most highly sought after commodity
*time*
time to make another record
i have lots of new songs i'm excited about
i've got a million and one ideas ready to be unleashed
i just need the time...
time - he's waiting in the wings/he speaks of senseless things
his script is you and me, boy

it's been a privilege getting to do what i love all these years now
to express myself
to make "art"
as a kid getting to make records was my wildest dream
i've been able to do that plenty of times now
there's not a day goes by that i don't thank my lucky stars for it all
i'd love to continue
we'll see if i do...

please consider your pledge a vote for me to keep going!

http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/236

love,

s

getting back to the Clash...

2010-01-13T08:23:00.001-08:00

Brad Austin had lent us the Clash’s 1st record from 1977
but it was now actually 1982
we soon found out their 5th record “Combat Rock”
had just come out
we got that next then all the rest too
we became obsessed with the Clash
in October we videotaped them playing “Straight to Hell” and
“Should I Stay or Should I Go” on Saturday night live
we watched it over and over again with the UTEP vs. Hawaii
basketball scores annoyingly ticker taping along the bottom of the screen
our Mother (who liked or encouraged us with most of what we listened too)
walked into the living room one afternoon while we were watching the SNL tape
she said “you call that singing? i just don’t think that’s singing…”
it didn’t matter to us
we thought Joe was the coolest as he held his fingers to his head like a pistol and sang
“go straight to hell boys…”
i was now 15
my brother had just turned 14
we’d never been to a rock’n’roll concert
in late January of 1983 we heard Nick Lowe was coming to El Paso
opening for Tom Petty
i was a big fan of Lowe’s and had found out about him because he was Elvis Costello’s producer
we begged our Dad to let us go
he eventually agreed
just 5 months later we found out the Clash was going to play the El Paso Civic Center
on the way to play the US Festival in California
http://homepage.mac.com/blackmarketclash/Bands/Clash/recordings/1983/83-05-28_SanBerdino/83-05-28_SanBerdino.html
Dad said “oosh baba, not again!!!”
we begged and pleaded with him
he said this time only with a chaperone
on May 25, 1983 F and i road in the blue Monte Carlo with our 24 year old 1st cousin
Maad Okko
Maad was from Algeria and spoke broken English
with an ear to ear grin he sported a healthy afro and woolly mustache
plus parachute pants and a tight sleeveless shirt
he listened mainly to disco music
he had never heard of the Clash or punk rock music
he was baffled by it all
to document this momentous occasion i planned on smuggling a micro-cassette recorder
into the Civic Center
i don’t remember how this plan actually worked
i only remember being convinced i’d surely be caught and potentially arrested
thus, missing the Clash
my favorite band
neurosis aside, once inside we took our position about 20 rows back and in the middle
a perfect spot
the lights dimmed and Spaghetti western music came over the PA song
the Clash finally took the stage
we jumped to our feet and cheered
they kicked in with “London Calling”
Mick hopped around like an elastic Mexican jumping bean
Paul bobbed, ducked and weaved like no bass player you’ve ever ever seen
Joe attacked his beat up Telecaster with ferocious intensity
wearing a white sleeveless military jacket/vest and black straight to hell t-shirt
Maad looked to us and yelled “you like this?”
i nodded my head and thrust the micro-cassette recorder to the sky
soaking in “Death or Glory”
the show plays out for me now in a haze of nostalgic slo-mo bliss
memories afterwards of laying under the sheets at night
with the micro-cassette recorder pressed to my ear
trying to re-live the moment by listening to the shittiest recording imaginable
we also begged our Mom to make us a black straight to hell t-shirt ‘cause they were sold out at the concert
she tried valiantly but after wearing her iffy labor of love to school one day i decided it just didn’t look right
i retired it to the bottom of my t-shirt drawer and never wore it again

2010-01-01T07:59:00.000-08:00

it’s the morning of January 1, 2010
i hold my baby daughter in my left arm and type with my right finger
i hit the space bar with my thumb
the sun is lighting up the right side of my face
she’s burrowed into the brown furry collar of my favorite winter coat
the sky is blue and calm
there’s a cold chill in the air
i went to bed at 3:30
after our show at Bryan St.
i should feel tired and horrible
but instead i feel great
positively brimming with energy
and ideas
today we celebrate the “son of Christmas” with L & L
who are visiting us from Austin
we coined the joke term last night ‘cause i talked Jayme into leaving the tree up this year
for their visit
today we’re gonna exchange gifts
go see the Christmas lights one more time and milk this holiday spirit for all it’s worth
before everything gets put away tomorrow
the 1st is usually a day of quiet reflection
so i will quietly reflect
could 2009 have been any better for me and my family?
i don’t think so
it was a banner year all the way ‘round
topped off in September by the birth of our precious little crumb Miette
everything else that happened was just icing
as memories already start to fade and be replaced by new ones
here’s what springs to mind…

Rhett smiling under the silly cowboys blanket as we cranked playback of
“like love”
Billy Harvey creating worlds for songs to live in
Rip almost falling out of his chair from excitement over John Dufilho’s ricochet snare drum fills on “nobody says i love you”
me, standing and singing in front of the Potter’s fireplace
feeling loved
feeling safe
me, standing and singing in front of Dean and Carla’s fireplace
feeling loved
feeling safe
driving through the Texas countryside listening to Buttercup with J and G
feeling lucky and grateful to have gotten to know and work with them
Gavin at Seaworld feeding the dolphins
burger street dude’s fantastic “Better by Design” cd and our lonely Ft. Worth show
Mike Snider’s contagious all-good smile
pancakes with Buttercup
the pure joy of playing “Montreal” with Guns of the Navarone on the Rudyard’s stairwell
going back to Denton to visit and play music with Paul Slavens
discovering Dan’s Silverleaf which made me feel like i was in Silverlake
flying to Hamburg on my birthday
Casa Buskies Basti and Dirk
cruising Berlin on the roof of a double-decker bus one sunny afternoon with J and G
strolling the gardens of Potsdam and feeling paradise on earth
Wreckless Eric playing the philicorda organ in the South of France
Wreckless Eric chucking the balalaika over his shoulder with a devilish twinkle
Gavin filming the Paris apartment on Rue d’sevigne “mom struggling with her pants”
Joe Reyes incinerating “a way to your heart” at the Dufilhos’ 1st show in July
the Whiskey Folk Ramblers lighting up Pleasantry Lane with accordions, hats and boundless creativity
Gabrielle LaPlante with echoes of the fable maker, N. Sinatra and Carnaby Street
the Monco Poncho painting Morricone panoramas
Holt hauntingly updating Drake and P. Floyd
Liles and the Kessler
Samples and SPACE
Schoder and the Granada
the miracle release of Binary Sunrise's debut
Pascale flying Alex D. to Big D
our Habaneros adventure and Opening Bell reunion
walking to Ginger's house with the kids
Bionicles Transformers Power Miners Bakugan
all the wonderful joy filled days
staying up late and watching Breaking Bad/Mad Men/Bored to Death/Modern Family and 30 Rock with Jayme
"unstoppable"
"the bullies are back"
"2 years"
"winners"
"we're gonna live forever"
"andalucia in the spring"

every day i get to be here with my family
and friends i’m grateful for
thank you to whoever out there is running this thing
thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's 2010 now
farewell 2009
i already look back fondly upon you

i hope you all have a year filled with love, good fortune and boundless happiness

love, love, love,

s

the Nourallah Brothers take in the Clash

2009-12-28T07:23:00.000-08:00

Brad Austin was a kid who lived down the street from us
he had some sort of California surfer Spicoli thing going on
with a mop top of curly thick blonde hair
his house was always freakishly dark and at the time i was too naive to realize this
but i think he was stoned out of his mind all the time
i’d recently been demoted to the Morehead middle school
C band
for misbehaving with music charts
(i could never actually read them – i always played by ear and faked it)
so i found myself temporarily humiliated and sitting right behind my kid brother and the rowdy sax section
Faris and his friends were prone to intentionally ferocious non-musical blasts from their saxophones
Brad was in that section too with another kid named Sander Starr
Sander was the purveyor of cool
he seemed to be the one the other misfit kids were following
anyway B and S were into this kind of music we’d never heard before
it was called punk rock
they listened to bands with names like Jody Foster’s Army and the Dead Kennedys
we didn’t like it
it was too noisy and stupid with not enough melody
one day Brad and Sander showed up to band class with a punk rock songbook
i caught a glimpse of the front cover
THE CLASH was stenciled all over it in military style writing
i liked how it looked
Faris said “lemme see it!”
he flipped through it and i peered over his shoulder
the black and white photos looked cool
i asked if i could check it out too
i read some words
i liked them
“they offered me the office, offered me the shop
they said i’d better take anything they got
do you wanna make tea at the BBC?
do you really wanna be, do really wanna be a cop?”
later that day F and i had a discussion
“we should ask Brad if we can borrow his Clash record”
i vividly remember my brother and i marching up Constellation
to Brad Austin’s house on Stonebluff
the late afternoon sun beat down on our furrowed pre-pubescent brows
it was almost as if John Waters had collided with an Ennio Morricone spaghetti western soundtrack
we were on a serious mission
the future of rock’n’roll hung in the balance
once the much sought after Clash vinyl was in our possession
we marched back to our house
and made a beeline to my bedroom
i set up the turntable and the first song came shooting out
“he’s in love with rock ‘n’ roll, woah
he’s in love with getting stoned, woah
he’s in love with Janie Jones, woah
he don’t like his boring job no…”
it was loud and fast
we’d never heard someone sing like that
“what’s the singer’s name?” F asked
“uh…says here - Joe Strummer”
guttural bellowing
emphatic and furious
we looked at each other quizzically
we kept listening intently
taking it all in
processing the information
my back was up against the side of my bed
ears positioned equidistant between the large Pioneer speakers
our father had bought us for writing 500 pages of prose and poetry
we liked the Clash
they had good tunes and good words
they looked cool too
we were hook lined and sunk

me and the Church (part 2)

2009-12-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

in 1987 Steve Kilbey released a solo record called “Unearthed”
on the back of the sleeve
it said “send faint praise” to a po box in Rozelle New South Wales
i painstakingly assembled a tape of material my brother and i were working on
i also wrote Kilbey a letter that tried to express how much his music meant to me
looking back on it all now my naivete is laughable and embarrassing
oh well, this is what over-earnest young fans do i suppose
if SK ever listened to the tape i can only imagine the gut busting chortle he got out of it
with my atrocious flat warbling burying any trace of decent songs
22 years later i’m not sure what i put on the tape
i only remember a song called “Unworldly” was on it
fitting considering it's subject matter

in 1988 the Church released “Starfish”
and had their 1st American hit with “Under the Milky Way” (#24 on the Billboard charts June 18, 1988)
i must’ve played “Starfish” a thousand times
i loved it
smart gimmick free music
these songs took you places with evocative words and guitar soundscapes
most everyone else in '88 was still fiddling with keyboard driven pop music
not the Church
in the summer of ‘88 my Mom loaded up the unreliable ‘80s Mercedes
hooked a u-haul trailer to it (making it a low-rider)
and bravely trekked across the state of Texas with 3 of her 4 kids in tow
the mission was to deposit F and i in Denton where we were to attend college
we left around sunset and drove all night because Mom was worried about the car over-heating during the daytime
i vividly remember listening to “Starfish” with headphones in the backseat
peering out the window and up at the starlit sky
imagining what life in Denton would be like
just outside of Dallas – near Weatherford i think
we tuned into a radio station that blared the following
“performing tonight at the Dallas Starplex – Tom Verlaine, Peter Murphy and the Church!!”
out of excitement i think i might’ve hit the roof of the car with the top of my head
it was August 20, 1988
we’d been up all night
a flat tire had slowed us down and made the whole trip take over 14 hours
we were delirious as we pulled into the dingy Stonehill Apartments
i was hell-bent on righting the wrong of missing the Church in Las Cruces 2 years earlier
i was going no matter what
although he was a fan too Faris didn’t wanna go
my Mom didn’t either
Miriam coolly agreed to accompany me
our Dad would have never gone for this scenario
but he wasn't there, was he?
Mom thankfully said "ok" so Miriam and i blindly set sail in the low-rider Mercedes
there was no Google maps back then
or GPS
we didn’t even have a map
how on earth we found the Starplex that night
i’m not sure
Dallas was massive compared to El Paso
it was exciting and overwhelming

the concert itself was a blur
the sleep deprivation lending sort of a surreal dream-like quality to my memories
almost as if it never actually happened
our seats were pretty far away
Peter Murphy played way too long
the Church not long enough
they wore vests and dressed in black and white
fans blew their hair back off their faces
Marty played the coolest assortment of Rickenbacker 12-string guitars
Steve played a dark green Fender Coronado bass
i was in bliss
at last i’d seen the Church live

a footnote:
i saw Kilbey and gang 1 more time after that
at the Bronco Bowl June 1, 1990
i waited around near the tour bus in the 100 degree heat
with my full MF regalia on
when the band finally emerged i conspicuously handed SK a Moon Festival cassette
and asked him if he'd mind signing "Starfish"
he smiled and said "yeah"
then glanced at the cassette and said
“you're one of the brothers from Texas! we listen to your cassette all the time”
and dashed off with a grin on his face

me and the Church (part 1)

2009-12-10T07:30:00.000-08:00

in 1986
when i was 19
my brother and i had a best friend
his name was Jeff G.
he had an older cousin who was Californian and cool
his name was Tom L.
Tom would blow in from CA
and tell us wild stories about all the girls he dated
and all the concerts he’d been to
we sort of admired him
‘cause we’d never done much of anything
one summer he brought a record with him called “Heyday” http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:difixqw5ldte
it was by a band called the Church
they were from Australia
on the album cover they were sporting colorful paisley shirts in front of a Persian rug
it was strangely exotic
i was intrigued
when “Myrrh” came outta my bedroom speakers for the first time
i was instantly hooked
“emerald haunt in overdrive…nightmare descent into Jericho City/
oh lord i trust your intentions but money strangles our love/struggling like a fool with my junk and my jewels/you would have thought i'd had enough”
with shimmering 12-string guitars
insistent drums and slippery bass
they wove an evocative sonic tapestry
leader/bassist Steve Kilbey could not only turn a phrase but also wrote timeless melodies
i was hooked
“Heydey” overwhelmed me
i played it religiously
within a month i’d tracked down their 4 other records
a couple of them available only as Australian imports

in the early spring of ’86 Jeff called one day
he coolly stated “the Church are coming to Las Cruces”
i said
“what? are you absolutely sure? i don’t believe it…”
“yeah, just read it in the paper…4pm, April 23rd”
the University of New Mexico State was in Las Cruces
about 45 minutes away
they were slated to play there outdoors
i was beyond excited
you see NO ONE cool ever came to play where we lived
it was a heavy metal classic rock wasteland
the day of the show i wanted to drive to Cruces early because i’m nourotic
i wanted to make damn sure nothing went wrong
Jeff was driving so i was at his mercy
he didn’t want to stand around in the hot sun for too long
he burned easily
the whole drive out to Las Cruces i was squirming with anticipation
i had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was gonna go wrong
when we got there Faris and friend John K. came running up to us
“we only caught their last chord…the show's over now…”
“WHAT??!!???”
i couldn’t believe it
i grasped at straws
"were they at least coming back for an encore?"
F said "i don't think so...there was hardly anyone here to watch them"
yeah - because the EL PASO TIMES PRINTED THE WRONG FRIGGIN' TIME!!!
nice job

i stood there in a daze
i was crushed
what a colossal bummer...

i still regret missing the Church play Cruces 23 years later
does anyone out there happen to have a bootleg video?

p.s. 9 years later i ended up playing the same concrete slab they'd played
after watching my vintage SVT bass head topple 5 feet off of my bass cab
mid-song
with glass tubes spilling out onto the concrete
i decided that for me
this concert site was CURSED FOR ALL TIME!!!

me and the Go-Betweens

2009-12-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

when i was a teenager
still living in El Paso
my one and only guilty pleasure was driving up to Sound Warehouse
on Mesa Street
and browsing the import records bin
they didn’t have much
but i had nothing else to do really
every now and then i would see an album cover that sparked my interest
i would pick it up
examine the front and back carefully
looking for clues
often i’d set it back in it’s place and make my way around the store
only to come back to it and examine it some more
you see
there were no mp3 samples
or listening stations back then
one had to carefully consider parting with their hard-earned 10 bucks
for a record that might end up being iffy
it was like a Las Vegas crapshoot
though the only payoff was music
it made those innocent days of record buying dangerous
especially compared to the consumer friendly i-tunes, etc. climate of today

sometime around 1985 in Sound Warehouse
i came across the Go-Betweens “Metal and Shells” LP
on the cover one of them was wearing a collarless Beatles nehru jacket
which tipped me off that they might be doing something i was interested in
still i carefully considered parting company with my small wad of cash
i may have even gone home to consult my Trouser Press new music bible
before finally deciding to take the plunge and buy it
after the deed was done
i crawled home in the baby blue Monte Carlo
and gently placed my black vinyl prize down onto the turntable
the record didn’t overwhelm me at first
but i liked it
2 tracks in particular
“Cattle and Cane”
and “Draing the Pool for You” were incredible
i listened casually to “Metal and Shells” after that
playing it maybe a dozen times overall
and didn’t think much more about the Go-Betweens until i moved to Denton

there was a little indie record shop on Fry St. that i would visit from time to time
it was called 14 records
and just like El Paso
there was nothing much for me to do other than browse the bins for something new to listen to
the owner was nice
his name was Bucks
and when i bought “Tantalized” by the Church
he struck up a conversation with me
he was a Church fan too and surprised that anyone in Denton had heard of them
20 years later
Bucks Burnett and i are still friends
sometime during ‘88
i was browsing 14 records when i came across
“Liberty Belle and the Black Diamond Express”
it had an inviting album cover
a simple black and white photo of the Go-Betweens
horsing around and smiling on a black couch
i bought it
this record ended up being much stronger than “Metal” (which i later found out was a mish-mash compilation)
i listened to “Liberty Belle” a lot that summer
especially the melodic and strange “Palm Sunday” and “Head Full of Steam”
i became a Go-Betweens fan
i knew next to nothing about them
in 1988 “16 Lovers Lane” came out
i bought it right away
i even got my brothers to listen to them
one muggy afternoon in ‘89 i picked up a Dallas Observer
and to my surprise
read that the Go-Betweens were coming to Dallas on April 28
they’d be at a club i’d never heard of before
it was called Club Clearview

around 6pm on that fateful night of April 28, 1989
i was sitting in an emergency room in Denton
with a freshly broken nose
going to the Go-Betweens concert had been thrown into jeopardy
bloodied, bandaged and dazed
i convinced Faris and Amy K. to still make the hour-long trek down to Clearview
what i remember from that from the sho is this…

the band had 2 lead singers
one was very tall
with black hair and a nice hollow body guitar
he also had a split up the backside of his black pants
so every time he turned around his white undies came peeking through
it was both endearing and distracting
they had 2 girls in the band
the drummer was one of them
she seemed very uncomfortable and almost like she barely
knew how to play the drums
there was a very small audience
maybe 25 people
mostly guys
the band didn’t say much in between songs
but Grant, the other singer
seemed like he might be very nice
after the show i wanted to stay and talk with to them
to let them know they had fans here
i felt like i should apologize for Dallas
and the terrible turn-out
but i felt too self-conscious with the bandages on my face
i thought they’d probably just be creeped out
so we left
the Go-Betweens would go on to break up within a year of playing Clearview
and i didn’t think too much more about them
other than occasionally playing their records

in 2001
my friend and CD World co-employee Johnny Christ
told me that the Go-Betweens had re-formed
we listened to “Friends of Rachel Worth” in the store one afternoon
i didn't love it but i was glad to hear the 2 songwriters
Robert and Grant were back together again
in June of 2003 i went to Japan to play with Rhett Miller
while jet-lagged i went for an early morning walk through the winding Tokyo streets
when i wearily re-entered the hotel lobby
i saw a tall, dark haired man
who looked a bit like Robyn Hitchcock
he glanced back at me and it seemed like for a split second
he might’ve thought i was someone he knew
he sort of looked at me like “is it YOU?…oh, wrong person…”
as i walked off i thought
“that man looked a lot like Robert Forster from the Go-Betweens...how strange...”
i wondered if i should’ve said something to him
later that day one of Rhett’s label reps said
“it’s too bad you’re going to Nagoya tonight – you could’ve gone to the Go-Betweens concert in Tokyo tonight”
i kicked myself a bit
i still feel foolish about not saying something to him
it would've been so nice and surreal to have had a conversation with Robert Forster in a Tokyo hotel

i just finished reading the Go-Betweens
by David Nichols http://books.google.com/books?id=-eMZkz3jMlAC&dq=go-betweens+david+nichols&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=ZzAVS4S1IcSxngfb4KnTBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CBoQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=&f=false
it made me realize i never really knew much about them
or their history
i just liked their records
their story made me a bit sad
because Grant McLennan died in 2006
online i read a very touching piece that Robert wrote about him
http://www.go-betweens.org.uk/library/Hipster.pdf
the 2 of them had been friends and songwriting partners for 30 years
how do you recover from a loss like that?

yesterday i played my son “Liberty Belle” on the way home from school

pumpkin cake

2009-11-13T07:37:00.000-08:00

riding the baby roller coaster one last time
feeling a bit too old for this
the sleepless nights
the crying
the worrying if everything will be alright
Miette went from no crying at all for the first month
to super-fussy
it all started when we took her to the doctor
4 weeks ago
she got her 1st shots then
and boy did she holler
it was almost as if she learned how to cry that day
last week we went back to the doctor
for more shots
excruciating cries of pain and suffering from our dear
sweet child
and then for 4 days after
kicking and screaming fits
now she is officially cranky most the time
unless she's sleeping in our arms
like she is right now in mine
Jayme and i love her so much
and it's painful to listen to her cries
our house is tiny too
nowhere for the others to go while one of us tries to calm her
Gavin just puts his hands to his ears like muffles
and says "oh, no!!!"

when M's not struggling with those baby growing pains
she's so alert and happy
her big blue eyes gazing up at us in joyous wonder
she coo's and makes this high pitched little goat sound
it only takes 1 minute of this for the stress
to vanish

we had a picnic in our backyard yesterday
Gavin eating J's pumpkin cake
surrounded by yellow and orange leaves under the big tree
it was 15 minutes of bliss
the kids both happy
a gentle breeze massaging our faces
sun peaking through the branches
our beautiful family enjoying the moment
so peaceful
so serene
then J looked down at the car seat M was sitting in
and said "that's poo leaking onto her blanket!!!!"

something to cleanse the palate

2009-10-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

my friend Carla recently wrote to remind me that
love really is all around...

i'm holding my beautiful baby daughter Miette
in my left arm
while she peacefully sleeps i peck type with my right hand
the sun is slowly creeping
the trees are still and quiet
the sky couldn't be any bluer
the rain is gone
my backyard is happy and full of life
it's going to be another picture perfect day
i'm lucky to be here holding my baby girl
instead of running around somewhere else
scrambling for God knows what
i count my blessings every single day for this precious time
i get to spend with my children

the house concert at the Potter's Saturday night
was another wonderful experience
along with D and C
M and M have created the most inspiring acoustic music rooms in the metroplex
the 4 house concerts i played this year
were some of my favorite spanning 20 years i've been playing live
i want to thank all of them immensely for doing this
it took a lot of effort
and trust
for inviting me and all the other guests into their homes
the welcoming, attentive audiences that listened in to me were this songwriter's dream come true
i couldn't help but think 9 year old El Paso Salim would be thrilled to see this happening
"staring at the little kid i used to be
wonder what that little kid would think of me..."

the hat of random songs dealt me some strange twists and turns this time
the 1st song drawn was "in the blink of an eye"
which is about Carter and his death
i've stopped performing it because it's too difficult for me emotionally
i even removed it from the hat earlier in the evening but put it back at the last minute
i'd just spent an idyllic couple of days with my family
i couldn't feel any better than i did on Saturday night
the last thing i wanted was to be reminded of the sad impermanence of it all
as i stood in front of the Potter's mantle
surrounded by warm candle's
soft lights overhead
i looked out at an open room full of strangers and friends
and felt like kicking into "1978" or "pictures collected" or "montreal"
songs about anything other than death really
but no
the song hat had other plans for me
it had to be "in the blink of an eye"
my little test of giving up control had come to full fruition at this inopportune moment
so i did it
i surrendered
i played what it told me to play
even though i didn't want to dredge up those painful feelings of loss
right then and there
in front of a room full of some people i didn't know
it was difficult...
and then 2 songs later "model brothers" was picked
and i didn't want to go there either
but i did
i gotta admit
it rattled my cage a bit
why did i write these songs i don't ever wanna play when i'm happy?
i train-wrecked "the wicked are winning" which i've never done
i just stopped when the bridge disappeared from my mind's eye
i laughed it off and carried on
but it didn't feel good
after the break i hoped set #2 would go a bit easier on me
the hat started off in the hands of my good friend Kyle Ross
he drew "be here now"
exactly what i needed to start
exactly what i'd hoped he'd draw
it felt like opening the windows on a fine spring day
"unstoppable"
"don't be afraid"
"she'd walk a mile"
"saint georges" all followed
the ebb and flow of this set couldn't have been any better than it was
i would've never chosen something this good if left to my own devices

after playing for over 2 hours
the 25th song of the night "pictures collected"
put a close to things
Esther and Carla even danced in the back while everyone sang along
thanks to MP for picking that one to cap it all off!
not so random but a perfect ending - he was right on the money

sending love out to you all from J, G, M and myself

anonymous cockroach

2009-10-25T09:14:00.000-07:00

i'm just a guy who writes songs
and sings them
i love my family
and my friends
i love music
and this life
i try to be a good person
i think i can honestly say i treat others the way i wish to be treated
i've never beat anyone up
or shot anyone
i don't like guns or violence
or using violent words
i don't rip people off
or steal from charities
i'm not a boozer or user or sex fiend abuser
i'm interested in peace
and love and human kindness
i'm really happy too
i feel so lucky everyday to have Jayme and Gavin and Miette
i don't have an axe to grind with anyone and i adore this life we have
(so does that bother you?)
yes, YOU anonymous cockroach
who keeps sending me hate messages
do you have any clue how ridiculous and deranged you are?
(of course not...what a silly question)
you quote my own songs too
a nice pitiful touch
how weird that you know me so well
that you've listened to my music carefully enough to quote it
not a surprise who it could be
it's a vry short list
you're not even clever enough to disguise yourself
so i'm wondering aloud now...
can't you find someone else more deserving to direct your bile at?
really - am i the very best you can do?
may i suggest you become obsessed with hating someone a bit more diabolical than me
possibly a dictator of a third world country
or the evil greedy head of a crooked corporation
or even better...any one of the countless murders
rapist or hooligans they parade on the five o'clock news each night
if you prefer to stick to the entertainment biz
how about Paris Hilton or Simon Cowell or Gene Simmons
there you go...Google them all and have at it!!!
just LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE!!!
it's absurd to continue to waste your time on peaceful happy me
if you're sad and angry
i'm sorry
it's not my fault
you got there long before you met me

it's a beautiful day
i wanna spend it free and clear of any thoughts of you
or your kind
you should spend it free and clear of any thoughts of me
or my kind too
don't keep trolling this blog looking for ammo
it's for my friends and comrades
not you

so here it is again (in case you missed it the first time!!)
all i wanna do is be a good father to my children
and a good husband to my wife
and try to make some good music
live a good, decent life and treat people fairly and kindly
that's all i wanna do
so leave me in peace please
go pester someone else (if that's what you've gotta do)
if you still insist on sending me more hateful comments
i promise you
i will continue to not post 'em
i will delete them

so farewell my sad, misguided cockroach
may you find love and happiness somewhere the lights don't shine!!

p.s. you attack my friends 'cause you've got nothing on me?
beyond pitiful - you are even more pathetic than i imagined
are you going to drag Carter into this next you dung roach

i already know who you are, by the way
when the lights come on what do roaches do?

2009-10-08T07:36:00.001-07:00

Gavin's fever is gone and he's hopping all around the house in his pajamas - things are looking much better now. Thank you to everyone who sent their thoughts and prayers out to us. love - S

2009-10-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

Gavin has come down with the swine flu
please send us your thoughts and prayers

love

S

wild life

2009-10-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

we've been in the baby bunker
and on the baby roller coaster
these past few weeks
up and down
and all around
we've had some great days and tons of beautiful moments
and then a few bad ones too
mostly it's been good though
Miette is peaceful and adorable
and gaining weight rapidly
the doctor asked last Monday
"what are you feeding this baby? cream?!!?"
she has acid reflux though which has kept her (and us) up a lot
she's uncomfortable most of the time
although she rarely cries
she sort of grunts and makes weird sounds all night
we wish we could help relieve her discomfort
it sucks to see her gritching around in agony
we feel helpless
Jayme's not getting enough sleep
she's super-mom
but it's gonna take a toll on her health
i worry about her
on Tuesday Miette will be a month old
it's already sped by too fast

i'm trying to get my head 'round the idea of playing again next week
i've been enjoying this soft domestic existence
i feel like it's been a year
not just 4 weeks
since i last plugged in and played
well at least i've got 3 great shows lined up for my "comeback"
Tuesday for the Vickery association block party
our 3rd year in a row playing this
and it couldn't be any more convenient
it's only 2 blocks from my house!!
Friday we're at Antone's in Austin
opening for Rhett Miller with the Dufilhos
Saturday i race to the outskirts of Ft. Worth
for Jayson and Sarah's wedding
then to Dallas for House of Blues with Rhett
i feel like i'm needed here to take of my girls
still
it makes me feel lucky that it's only one crazy weekend
i have in store
and not a string of many weekends
that will take me away from my family

i've been watching old McCartney interviews on YouTube all week
i'm not sure why
maybe because i've been thinking about the clock ticking?
he was so grounded
dedicated to his family
a real role-model to me for sure
i've been trying to zero in on exactly when he became weird
i think it was right around the time Linda died in '98
he aged 10 years in the span of just a few
i guess losing your wife can do that
it's so tragic
so sad
after she died
i've had a hard time watching him since
he doesn't seem secure and at peace
like he was when she was still alive
though i do think the recent Chaos and Creation is a phenomenal record
and one of his best solo records for sure

today i will spend most of it working in the cave
i will miss my family terribly
i will wish i could spend it with them instead
the weather is perfect
i wanted to be there with them
having fun
playing outside
not stuck in here
i saw my son only half an hour yesterday
it broke my heart
i have to make some money though, right?
so is life...

the baby bunker

2009-09-11T17:52:00.000-07:00

in the baby bunker
time stands still
you sleep when you can
eat small quick meals
go out only for supplies
spend a lot of time in bed
and even more time hovering over the changing table
3 to 5 loads of laundry per day
try to keep things all tidy and put away
nothing going on in the outside world matters
when you're in the bunker
the endless chatter of that world grinds to a halt
it's been silenced
the only sound you hear is the sweet delicate coo
of your little baby
who depends on you for everything
they are utterly helpless
the bunker is designed to make them stronger
every second they sleep
every time they eat
there is no panic button
like in the hospital
with a well-trained nurse on call to come rushing to your side
at the slightest hint of trouble
you're on your own now
with the precious life of your fragile child resting in your hands
it's a huge responsibility

yesterday Miette slept on my chest for 2 hours
while Jayme got some much needed rest
i felt the beating of her little heart
watched her breathe in and out
and make soft noises
ten minutes seemed like a day (in the good way)
an hour felt like a week
i hadn't felt this relaxed in ages
i had made it down to her pace
slow
soft
quiet
baby don't care about what bills need to be paid
or who is calling on the phone
baby don't care about the traffic or taxes
or hustling for a dime
she takes in the air
then lets it out
over and over again
she sleeps
eats
sleeps
sleeps some more
eats
it would be so fascinating to know what images float around
in her newborn mind
our precious little one Miette Sophia Nourallah
so peaceful
so content
she hasn't cried once since we got home
she seems happy just to be here
we're happy too
i can't think of anything i'd rather do than spend these days
like this

our spacious hearts

2009-09-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

around 1am on Friday morning
Jayme tapped me on the shoulder and said
"honey, i'm having contractions..."
i was sleeping oh so peacefully
not exactly renowned for being the world's fastest wake-up-on-the-spot guy
i said "ok..."
and promptly fell back to sleep
a few minutes later tap tap again
"i think this baby is coming NOW."
i was up in a flash this time
i ran and got my phone
so i could use the stopwatch function
to time the contraction intervals
i was in the daddy zone now
they were only 3 minutes apart
i got her a large glass of water
we timed for another 15 minutes
they didn't go away
Jayme said "it's time to call the doctor"
we quickly woke G up
who groggily rolled onto the floor in a ball
"is it time for cereal now?"
he thought it was already morning
our tired little prophet had predicted all of this yesterday when he proclaimed
"i think my sister is coming tomorrow!!"
he was right
we left the house around 2am
raced around the corner to drop G off at a friend's house
they were all waiting at the door for us
a drunk driver edged down the street and came within inches
of side-swiping a parked car
on Knox-Henderson it was a traffic zoo
all the club and bar goers making their way home
or to after parties
we almost got hit at the stop sign on Henderson as we tried
to merge with traffic
Jayme actually let out a startled yelp as they swerved in front of us

finding the drop-off point at Baylor was easy
within minutes they had us in a private room
nurses shuttling in and out
performing various nursely duties
one stood a computer and asked a million and one questions
like:
"what is your name?"
"have you used intravenous drugs during this pregnancy?"
"do you have H.I.V.?"
"who's your favorite Beatle?"
as the 101 questions rolled i noticed Jayme's contractions were
becoming increasingly intense
and painful
i'm very observant you know
the first tip was that she was beginning to have problems speaking
and was gripping the sides of the bed and scrunching up her face
in agony
everyone else seemed perfectly calm though
until one nurse went below and came up with "she's at 9 centimeters!!"
at that moment all hell broke loose
they started scrambling around like the keystone cops
they whisked the bed down the hall and through some swinging doors
a nurse asked me to wait in the corridor
i stood there in my scrubs and paper hat
after a few minutes they told me i could come in
Jayme was sitting up on the operating table in obvious excruciating pain
while 4 or 5 of them wrangled with her
they were trying to administer the epidural
Jayme was cussing now
it was actually the mild garden variety type of bad language
i was impressed
i'd heard far worse from her at home
i was surprised that she was being so polite considering
the fact she was basically having a baby without anesthesia
then someone instructed "dad to be - please get in close and help hold her up!"
i was now an active participant?
no class? no training? they trusted ME?
i thought i was here to whisper sweet things in her ears
while suspiciously gruesome things went on south of the border
the next few minutes unfolded quickly
they plopped her down
and started shooting the drugs in
they threw up a big blue tent
so that we couldn't see anything down below
i sat on a low stool near her head
and tried desperately to say things that would help her not focus
on the intense pain and agony she was in
things like "picture yourself in a field on a beautiful sunny day
holding your baby..."
the baby was coming in like a DC9
i thought briefly that Kamikaze Nourallah had a nice ring to it...
now there was a slight trace of panic emitting from the people in blue
we had planned a C-section for various medical reasons i won't go in to
but Jayme just about had this baby the other way
with no pain relief!!!

at 3:54am our daughter was born
she cried very little when they set her in the bassinet
i saw her immediately
she was so small and dainty
grey eyes wide open and looking all around
newborns usually look like a space alien/great grandparent combo
but not this one
she was beautiful
a full head of dark wavy hair
very alert
she looked right at me studiously
my face peering down at her was one of the first things she saw

the first few moments of a child's life
are awe inspiring
there's nothing quite like it
they are so pure
so fragile
so beautiful
as i sat and held my daughter in my arms for the first time
i felt an immense wave of tranquility wash over me
the world stopped
nothing else mattered but this little baby
there was no fear of anything
just love and joy
to think that i once thought there wasn't any room left in my heart
to love another as much as my wife and son
is laughable now
oh how wrong i was
so wrong
our ability to love is infinite
it's pretty cool, isn't it?

contentment

2009-08-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

sitting in my studio today
a feeling of contentment washed over me
the Rain Horses are gonna be here soon
to lay down some dreamy soundscapes
i'm lucky to be spending a Saturday afternoon
working on good music
with nice people
i even get paid afterwards
last night's gig at Bryan Street
was an unqualified success
tons of people in the club
i totally dug the vibe of the room
with the christmas lights and carpet
I Love Math was great
Buttercup superb
we sang each others songs
and our own too
on "Saint Georges" we transcended
"Stranger in my Own Skin" was fantastic as well
baby N politely waited for me to get through this one
she's a good little girl already
i panicked a little when i noticed Jayme's missed call at 1:30
all was ok though she just missed me
tomorrow it's Gavin and Dada day
we're gonna spend the whole day doing only what he wants
no work for me
no computer
all G all day
he's got it all planned out
some wrestling
some candyland
soccer practice
a walk
we'll see what else too
so for now no more shows until October
i'll be back with Rhett to celebrate Lennon's birthday in Austin
on the 9th
it's already shaping up to be a hectic fall
baby N's imminent arrival
lots of shows
lots of recording
thank you for following along and supporting us
it means a lot to me

love

s

something's gonna change my life

2009-08-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

a beautiful storm is brewing
change is in the air
a chapter of my life almost over
a new one about to begin
on wednesday our son goes off to school
it will be hard to let go
soon after that little baby N will arrive
no more days as a trio
sleep will become scarce
our house will get crowded
funny that we can't imagine things being any different
than they are now
but somewhere off on the horizon we'll look back
and not be able to imagine our family without
our precious daughter
change is taking place all around me
my natural tendency (like most)
is to not trust it
to be afraid
but i'm facing it
embracing it even

i played Hal Sample's SPACE for dc9
on Wednesday
Pete F. asked me to do something different
so i did
i played my little Guild MarkII from 1962
that i only sit and play around the house
it opened up a whole world i'd not previously presented to an audience
i could finger pick all these songs with ease that i shy away from
because it's too awkward on my jumbo Guild
i felt like a fool
to not have done this earlier
the old dog finally learned a new trick
i guess better late than never
"this soft existence"
"the beautiful noise"
"everybody wants to be loved"
all resurrected
and still more to come
the nourallah brother's "morning cigarette"
"missing you"
and
"the man who learned to love"
i feel like a whole world has opened up at my fingertips
that had been closed off

last night's house concert at Carla and Dean's
was wonderful
i took in every second of it
savoured it even
the hat of song titles dealt us some interesting twists
and turns
opening with a cover
the hollies "bus stop"
which in 20 years of performing i'd never done
then the hat told me to play "everybody wants to be loved"
i would have never chosen that next!!
anyway
i played for over 2 hours
and it still seemed like it was over in the blink of an eye
sad coming down from such a high
but today i have an afternoon to spend with J and G
our baby coming soon
(if you're listening baby N - anytime after Friday night's Bryan St. show!!!)
we're looking forward ot meeting you
we love you already
see you soon...

"you're just a human...a victim of the insane"

2009-08-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

i watched Lennon on Cavett yesterday
it was like he was right there
almost real enough to reach out and touch
so young
so likable
so alive
i was only 5 when this aired on TV
he was only 32
he had just 8 years left to live
when i think of how he was gunned down
in the prime of his life
for no reason whatsoever
i'm consumed with anger
and then sadness
sadness for his young son
and wife
and this deep sadness takes me back to the very moment
i found out he had died
when i was 13
unable to process the information
in some ways i'm still equally unable

at 6am today my friend Ron drove to the cemetery
where his son Jessie rests
like he does every year on this day
August 11
Jessie's birthday
the pain he has dealt with over the loss of his son
is unimaginable to me
still i try to imagine his loss
it makes me shudder
the thought of losing my son would be the end of my world

would John, Jessie and my friend Carter still be with us today
if it weren't for guns?
...quite possibly so...
so thank you Charlie Heston
and everyone else down the line
over the years
who have advocated Americans rights to bear arms
we obviously know what to do with them

i spent another idyllic peaceful Sunday afternoon
with my family
like so many before
i thought to myself
how many do we have after this one?
we take it all for granted
the sun will come up tomorrow
we'll do our thing
just like every day before
on most days like this one
i try to steer clear of these kind of thoughts
they only drag me down
but they also make me see how precious the moment is
we're all so fragile
we're all just barely here
i pray violence doesn't ever enter our lives
or the lives of any of our loved ones

the full circle

2009-08-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

we’re a peaceful gang that holds doors open for the ladies, tips big, and plays music all night long...

i'd stood in this room 17 years ago
August 22 1992
Whacky's, San Antonio
i watched a great SA band called 13
with a young John Dufilho on guitar
their leader Chris Smart
had taken a liking to the MF and we'd arranged
a couple of show swaps
bringing 13 to Dallas in exchange for shows in SA
Saturday August 1 2009
i was back again
now playing with my long time friend and ally John Dufilho
Chris Smart (looking not a day older)
stood in the middle of the crowd
arms folded
watching us
it was an almost surreal moment
as the disco ball spun and i sang "Stranger in My Own Skin"
but i never felt the ghosts of Moon Festival's past
i was caught up in the rapture of the moment
celebrating Buttercup's amazing cd
"the Weather Here"
and also celebrating the return of the Deathray Davies
now this place is called the Limelight
we played an inspired set to a large crowd of people
pushed up to the front of the stage
that had never heard my music before
they seemed to enjoy it
they smiled
and clapped loudly after the songs
they even bought lots of my cds afterwards
the DRD played another powerful and rocking set
the crowd whipped into a frenzy
Garner rolling over the toms like no one i've ever seen
Dufilho's buoyant stomp and clever catchy songs
the crowd jumped up and down and sang along loudly
the party was just getting started though
Buttercup took the stage around 12:30
this was their night
what we'd all been waiting for ever since last fall
when we first started talking about making this record
they delivered one of the most awe inspiring sets
i've ever witnessed in all my years
of playing and following music
i wanted to bottle the moment
and keep it with me the rest of my life
i stood in the middle of the heaving swaying crowd
and recorded their performance
my back started to hurt
i kept going
they did it all
slow and sad
fast and rocking
melody laden songs with interesting and complex words
no pretension whatsoever
a real and true connection to the audience
we're all in this together, right?
savour this moment - it's all you have
so many emotions coming from this wonderful band
they cover the whole spectrum just like the fab four did way back when
Erik's kind words about me
and how i helped them make their gorgeous record
truly floored me
to have had a hand in helping with their great music
was such an honor
i'm very lucky to have gotten a chance to work with such an incredible band
they played for almost two hours
"superior"
"it's in the way"
"consensus chalice"
"i am a tiger"
"better no betta"
"always alcohol"
and by the end it was full on rock'n'roll mayhem
Dufilho and John A. joining them for a rousing "'68 Playmate"
a song so good i thought it was an obscure cover
the crowd went wild
with Chris on trombone
Joe banging on an ashtray
and Erik strutting his stuff
then they called me up to join the gang for the Talking Heads "Psycho Killer"
and everyone in the room sang along
it was so much fun
1000 times more fun the Whacky's in '92
this was a night i will remember the rest of my life

my friendship with John Dufilho has come full circle
from '92
to 2009
DRD's "Kick and the Snare" was the first real record i made at Pleasantry Lane
his support and belief in my abilities to produce music started the ball rolling
so that others would follow
he's gone out on a limb to support me countless times
then him and Jason Garner were part of my first backing band the Polaroids
which was a huge shot in the arm for my confidence as a "solo" artist
without Dufilho's introduction i would have most likely never met the guys in Buttercup
there's so many other things i could mention about all these wonderful friends of mine
but for now i'll just leave you with this thought

i love them all very much and i'm so glad that they have been part of my life

Mohawk, Austin

2009-08-01T08:23:00.001-07:00

our GPS miraculously guided us out and around downtown Houston
avoiding the rush hour congestion
we sailed along the Sam Houston tollway
and were at I-10 heading West within an hour
by 8:30 we were almost at our hotel
when the traffic ground to a halt
police cars and ambulances racing past
we sat there for about 10 minutes
we were so close
300 yards away from our exit
tired and hungry
then they started waving people through
there was no sign of anything
we have no idea what happened
after we got to the hotel and dropped our 7 miniatures bags off
we walked to the only restaurant we could see
other than Applebee's
it was a Tex-Mex place called Antonio's
L & L came to meet us there
Tejano music blasted over our voices
as we talked and inhaled our food
the food wasn't very good
it didn't matter
it was so good to see our friends
and be back in Austin
we rushed J and G back to the hotel
and then L & L drove me to Mohawk
we got there around 10
my head was spinning from our day at Nasa
the drive
lack of sleep
Kisses Cause Crashes were rocking out inside Mohawk
the first thing that struck me was the stifling heat
it wasn't just hot
it was f'n hot
it was jungle hot
it was HOT HOT HOT
a puny A.C. system loudly sputtered
two large fans blew the turgid air around
the devil was standing in the corner playing a lute
it was at least 100 degrees in there
we were on before i could even get my hot head into the mix
but it was a special moment
we blazed into "Western Hills"
and then raced through a sweat drenched set
the room was packed
lot's of people there to see us
craning there necks to see over the heads in front of them
the band was great
John and Jason thumping away
Joe Reyes smiling and singing
it felt like we'd been playing for years together
not just 3 shows
all the stress of the day melted away
"Be Here Now" worked on me
it did the trick
then "Stranger in My Own Skin" came along
and it was really good again
especially the ending
with Dufilho's steady drums
the band has been killing this one
on the last song we ripped into "A Way to Your Heart"
but i just wasn't feeling it
so after we hit the 1st chorus i shouted to the band
"STOP, STOP!!!"
they did it right away
then i led them into "The World is Full of People..."
i felt reaaly good now...

Buttercup and the Deathray Davies came along afterwards
and delivered inspired and powerful sets
to a full house
our gang is in full swing now
we're coming to your town armed with guitars
not guns
spreading the word of peace and love
not hate and war
we're gonna find the ones who want to listen
one at a time
and bring them into our wonderful world of music

my friends have truly inspired me
thank you

for the kid

2009-08-01T07:31:00.001-07:00

Rudyard's, Houston thursday
a great audience
the sound was impeccable
sold a bunch of cds afterwards
Buttercup was brilliant
as always
Bernd and Yoli were there
Greg too with the posters
made some new friends too
the Deathray Davies came on at the end
and got everyone outta their chairs
up at the front of the stage singing and dancing
i've missed seeing them play
it was really nice to see John D. back
fronting his band
Jason on the drums is Keith Moon as God
our gang conquered
we stood around afterwards loading the vans
in the 2am heat
so humid our guitar cases were sweating
i got back to the hotel at 3am
content but exhausted
we took Gavin to NASA Friday afternoon
got there at 1:30
after fighting the rain
and traffic
he was Disneyland excited
ready to learn about science
and see rockets
it was mayhem at first
kids running around everywhere
yelling out joyously
G got caught up in the rapture of it all
we raced around various little play stations with him
i even rode on a simulated space rollercoaster with him
he got scared when we saw Darth Vadar
and gulped root beer from his $5 Alien souvenir alien mug
around 3:30 it was time to go
if we were gonna beat that notorious Houston rush hour traffic
G had his heart set on taking the tram tour though
and seeing the rockets
Jayme was not in a good way at this point
on her feet for too long and her back beginning to kill her
she made a sacrifice for Gavin though and said "yes" to the tour
we crowded into and long line and got right up
to where they were slowly loading the trams
then the security people walked off
and the tram left
we waited in the muggy heat for another half hour
while the 17 year old employees gingerly loaded the next tram
Jayme was in exquisite pain now
i began to worry about our impending trek to Austin
the clock was ticking
our happy day melting away into a glob of stress
we finally boarded our wagon
we finally rolled forward
our first stop was mission control
from the '60s
it was cool to see but then they ushered us into some seats
to sit and listen to a guy blather on for 20 minutes about
nothing that interesting
then we were herded back to the tram
it was almost 5
i felt my blood pressure on the rise as i pictured missing the gig
i just couldn't relax and be in the moment
i was annoyed by the terribly unorganized crass NASA tour
i felt part of a tourist trap
we moved like turtles to the next stop
but my son was thrilled and that made me glad we stayed
by the time we got back to our car it was 5:30
i don't think i'd ever been happier to see our little Mini

love gang

2009-07-26T00:31:00.000-07:00

a wave of euphoria swept over me while i stood on stage
at Sons of Hermann Hall
a joy i've rarely experienced while performing
i was there with my friends
whom i love
playing music again with them
there was no place i'd rather be
i felt like i was finally in the gang i'd dreamt of joining when i was a kid
no it wasn't the crips
or the bloods
but a peaceful gang
of thoughtful and considerate young men wielding guitars
and drumsticks
instead of knives and machine guns
the kind of gang the beatles had before let it be
the kind of gang the clash had before they tossed Mick out
the kind of gang the replacements had before they chucked bob stinson out

my friends in buttercup have changed my life
they've taken me in to their group
and helped me heal deep emotional wounds
with their enthusiasm and love for music that reigns supreme over all else
like mass acceptance
and all the other ridiculous ego driven b.s. that rock'n'rollers strive for
these guys are true artists
dufilho and inky are too
they will continue doing this as long as the spirit moves them whether or not it ever
"pays off"
i gave up on playing anywhere in Texas other than Austin or Dallas 10 years ago
i decided no one else in this state liked the kind of music i liked
i was done with the disappointment
i walked away and said "good riddance..."
i was wrong
my friends have helped me find the way back
in this gang of ours nothing else matters
we're gonna have a great time regardless
we're gonna dominate Houston
then pummel Austin
then gently caress San Antonio
we're going to have a great time doing it too
no matter what
it doesn't matter to us one bit if people don't show up
or don't like us
we're gonna have a party

guess what?
you're all invited...

RUDYARD'S - HOUSTON - THURSDAY 7/30
MOHAWK - AUSTIN - FRIDAY 7/31
THE LIMELIGHT - SAN ANTONIO - SATURDAY 8/1

2009-07-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

i was going to go
i was dressed
and ready
but then i felt that all too familiar tug
why am i leaving my beautiful family?
whom i'd barely seen all day
to go stand around waiting
for my ego to get stroked
maybe i could just stay home?
that felt like the better idea to me
so i did...
we went for a walk
i held my son's little hand
then we took him to look at toys
and to Premiere
to rent "Madagascar"
we took the video home
had some cupcakes
then piled into bed and watched the movie
he loved it
around 9 i got a text from ND saying that i'd won
best producer
it felt nice
i hope nobody at the Granada thought i didn't appreciate winning
that the honor of being recognized by my peers for doing good work
didn't mean anything to me because i wasn't there to accept the award
in fact the opposite is true
it means a lot to me
i'm grateful everyday for the recent success that i've had
after 20 years of trying
and failing
i have an incredible job
i'm very thankful i get to do what i love
i get to make music day in and day out with talented
creative, humble, kind people
most of whom end up becoming my friends
(if we weren't already that when we started working together)
to be recognized in this way by the Dallas Observer
and by this fantastic (and underrated) music scene of ours
is a huge honor
and i don't take it lightly
so THANK YOU again for this award
and to every single person who sent it my way
it feels really nice...
i simply wanted to be two places at once tonight
but the clone machine malfunctioned
and home won out
i have a five year old who won't be five much longer
i didn't want to miss another night...

going back to the future

2009-07-11T16:24:00.000-07:00

i took Gavin to see my parents today
i found some notebooks tucked away in a closet
this was scrawled in one of them
written when i was only 18
a strange, innocent glimpse at past me looking forward

TO THE FUTURE

in the future i would like to do the following things:

- obtain a degree in sound engineering from a major college
-move to England and try to become a successful record producer
-continue to develop my songwriting talents and hopefully start a band on the side
-fall in love with someone very special
-become successful as either a record producer or musician
-retain all my ideals, no matter what
-try not to become a hypocrite
-always do my best
-live forever!
-always be close to my younger brother
-never lose my love for music
-stay creative
-someday write truly great songs and have someone actually be moved by them
-try to do my part in being a member of this world
-never lose my opinions on anything
-always be in love with life
-learn to actually communicate with people
-have a positive effect on as many people as i can
-never be greedy
-accomplish something worthwhile by the time i die
-never have any regrets

padre's lovely daughter

2009-07-09T00:57:00.000-07:00

sometimes the earth quakes deep in June
late in the fading afternoon
while sun is singeing mud to clay
and sweat rolls off your pretty face

you said you never mean to stray,
"it just ends up like that...okay?"
from what i'm seeing through this haze
it seems you're better off that way

yeah, it seems
the world's become a bad dream

on your veranda stands a man
your hair like snakes coil 'round his hands
you bow your head to meet his chest
the sun is sliding down his neck
i grind a rose with my boot-heel
i smile real wide, 'cause i can't feel
he feels you up, under your dress
i guess that's just what you do best

yeah, it seems
the world's become a bad dream
yeah, it seems
the world's become a bad dream, a bad dream

a bad scene in some play
by a Mexican impressionist
who came from Zacatecas
speaking only broken English
writing cheap novelette fodder
with some Padre's lovely daughter
translating his mutations to the page, within the book,
within my hands...

i'll keep your wooden crucifix
and sleep with it under my pillow
i'll keep your picture packed away
'till it is faded, old and yellow
and when it seems
my world's become a bad dream
yeah, when it seems
my world's become a bad dream
i'll take a look at it
i'll take a look at it
at your smiling face within the picture frame

(april 5, 1993)

the party

2009-07-07T22:10:00.001-07:00

"you're not really going to that idiotic party, are you?' jayme said
as i leaned in to kiss her on the cheek
"yeah...i guess i am..."
my family looked so sweet cuddled up on the bed together
watching TV
i should've put my pajamas on right then and there
and blown off the idiot party
but i didn't...
when we pulled up to the house
the thump thump of hip hop was going strong
it kinda looked like one of those frat parties
i drove past in college
but never actually attended
a dilapidated 2 story house
with lot's of people milling about on the porch
and in the driveway
surely there was a keg or two in the kitchen
but i never made it that far
we gingerly walked up the driveway
thank god it was dark there
"no way i'm stepping a foot inside that house" i thought to myself
i don't often get like this
at least not anymore
but i felt misanthropic all of a sudden
i was uncomfortable
and agitated
"hey man, you should go inside and check out _____ in a bit
they're a great hip hop act"
"i hate hip-hop" i stated
listening to myself utter those words made me feel like a grumpy old man
but then i thought
even when i was a grumpy young man
i hated hip-hop
it's just not my bag
it's party music to me
it's perfect for frat parties
like this one
and i'm not a frat fucking party kinda guy
so the bump bump and thump thump continued
and some guy in the window with a mic and his pants falling down
then i saw a photographer squatting down amongst
a group of gyrating dancers
she was shooting them "Sports Illustrated swim suit style"
really going for the action
i almost gagged
why did this particular scene make me feel this way?
i'm trying to put my finger on it
i talked to a few of my friends for a bit in the dark
on the driveway
my friend Kenneth said he felt the same way
some others friends made cracks about the whole scene too
then the back-breaker came when some guy on the front steps
started wailing like an indie Robert Plant
to the click click click of the eager photographer
i had to leave or risk convulsing violently
so we split to hang out in a quiet bar
on Bryan Street
once we got there i felt fine
relaxed even
why did that scene at the party annoy me so much?
i'm still not sure
it just did...

an explosive 4th

2009-07-04T17:37:00.000-07:00

we spent most of the 4th
doing nothing
G played and played
jayme stayed in bed
she hasn't been getting much sleep lately
and didn't feel up to much else
i needed a lazy Saturday
since we've been back from Europe i don't think we've had one solitary day
like this one
in the morning i finally finished the song i started in G's paris apartment video
it's called "38 rue de sévigné"
then i was on a roll
i wrote words and a bridge to a nice melody i'd been
farming since May
called "unstoppable"
i think it's a really special one
by 2pm i got around to a song i was really struggling with lyrics to
now it's finished and called "hit parade"
"for a friend" was next
it became totally obvious how to finish this one
after a month of wrestling with it
momentum is a strange thing
no matter how hard you try
you can't make it happen
it just simply has to appear
outta the blue
outta nowhere
on this lazy 4th
i was struck by crystal clear inspiration
maybe it's because i feel relaxed?
my mind was a blan slate
i had nothing on the agenda today
nothing to do or fix
no errands to run
or jobs to be done
i feel good now
and excited knowing that these songs
are now finished
and i'm happy with them
ideas on when and how to record them have also sprung up too

we're on to hang out and celebrate the 4th with the Vrooms now
i hope all of you had a good one too

love

s

sunday morning

2009-06-28T10:40:00.000-07:00

holding your hand above the abyss
think of the things that i'm gonna miss
white swirling clouds tumble beneath our feet
i'll never forget this sunday morning...

the curse of Denton
was double broken last night
shattered even
like a Muhammad Ali knockout punch
Denton fell like Frazier
in the first round
i had a beautiful drive
at sunset
(well, as beautiful as driving through Lewisville and Coppell could be!)
the Ipod was on random
some strange almost cryptic tunes popped up
"Model Brothers" for starters
it made me sad
i thought about first going to Denton with F 20 years ago
yes, 20
it was hard not to feel a bit emotional about it all
then the Damned came on with "13th Floor Vendetta"
an old favorite of the N brothers
just as i rolled into Denton and the sun was fading on the horizon
"Death is a Star"
with Strummer's smoke addled voice whispering to me
"and i was gripped by that deadly phantom..."
my past
my phantom
so many memories
most of them painful
i ran away from this place
i vowed i'd never go back
i didn't play shows here for ages
i wrote about hating Denton
but what i really hated were the memories i associated with this place
memories of disappointment
and rejection
it felt good to be here again and be ok with it all
to not feel anything close to those feelings of old
happy that none of those things mattered anymore

my evening started with a pleasant dinner with my friends
Carla and Dean
they took me to a nice restaurant called the Greenhouse
one hour there felt like 5 minutes
over in a blink
then we drove a whopping 3 minutes back to Dan's
i love the vibe of this place
the way they have it decked out
it feels like Silverlake in LA to me
without the pretension
and Jimmy
the soundguy there
is one of the best in Texas
a Picasso of sound
the Whiskey Folk Ramblers went on around 10:30
trumpet and Spaghetti western guitar blazing
they sounded terrific
and i loved the 5 hats running across the stage!!
it got me revved up for our sessions later this week
we went on around 11:45
and surprisingly
there was a good crowd
i say surprisingly because Denton during the summer
can be rough business
i know all too well how the club crowds dry up once
school lets out
anyway - there we people
and they liked us
we played until 1am
the new Phil Spectoresque arrangement of "Love is All Around"
and "Saint Georges" were highlights for me
the crowd even asked for an encore
we play "the World is Full of People"
it was a triumphant return for sure
and well worth the wait
i don't think i'd played with a band in little D since the late '90s
rumour has it
we might be coming back in the Fall
so this could be the beginning of my new love affair with Denton...
ha!!!

love,

s

3 years

2009-06-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

it's my 3 year anniversary on blogger
almost to the day
i just backed-up all my posts from the last year
then imported all the euro tour notes from facebook
it took me over an hour
only a drop in the bucket of loose ends i want to tidy up
i feel like there's too much to do
there aren't enough hours in the day
i'm struggling with finding peace
i'm struggling with being caught up in the doing (all the time)
we've been back now for only a month
bills and repairs are flying every which way
mishaps and things that need fixing right and left
that good ole "hamster on a wheel" feeling is back in full swing
i feel like i can barely keep up with it all
and then
at the end of the day
i'm gonna create?
sit here and write songs?
i don't have the energy most days
i've started at least 10 in the last month
but i can't find the time to finish any of them
i came back inspired
now i'm just tired
my jobs that need doing list stares up at me from the desk
french drain in front of studio to fix studio flooding problem
duplex repairs
carport
new closet
broken shelves in the storage room
broken lock
water leak
faulty faucet
sagging gutters
drop off the Jeep
sift through the 500 gigs of junk the data recovery people gave us
oh, and buy more baby stuff
(yeah - she's on her way and needs some gear!!!)
then
in the back left corner of my mind
cowering behind the stack of "practical" concerns
too scared to come out
afraid someone other than me might notice
how ridiculous he is
is my "other" to-do list...
finish the salim vs. shibboleth record (am i kidding myself?)
complete the double disc delusions of grandeur outtakes cd (now i'm truly delusional)
record live at pleasantry lane 2 with the constellations (commit me please...)
the sons of hermann hall live dvd (south korea is nice this time of year for a vacation...)

so i may be feeling overwhelmed tonight
but i still know these are all relatively minor things
it's just stuff after all
it doesn't really matter so much in the big picture
a close friend of mine
someone i've known for over 15 years
is going under the knife this week
the possibility of cancer looming large
(please send out a prayer or thought for him and his family)
every single day we have on this earth
where we don't have to face things like this
are truly lucky...
so i'm also counting my blessing at 1:43am

90 degrees at 9am?

2009-06-23T07:05:00.001-07:00

3 shows this week
saturday night i do battle with the curse of denton
at dan's silverleaf
the whiskey folk ramblers will be there with us to try and make sure
only good things happen
sunday night chris holt and i go back to mineral wells
to play the clark gardens
tuesday night it's barley house with the constellations
we're hosting besides daniel from atlanta

we still haven't found out how many of the euro pictures will be saved
maybe tomorrow?
it's been an ordeal...
we finally started work chris holt's solo record yesterday
(original day 1 was post phoned by rain last week)
we're off to a fantastic start with "meltdown"
rhett's record has been getting fantastic reviews nationwide
4 stars in rolling stone!
i've even been writing a little bit
"coma"
"winners"
"andalucia in the spring"
jayme got me the stiff records book for father's day
yeah!
the wreckless eric radio shows keep rolling
so go have a listen at his website!
july is almost here
the texas tour with buttercup and the deathray davies
plus the return of half the polaroids
it's gonna be fantastic

now if i could only get that overwhelmed feeling
outta my system...

from the desk of the whipped dawg

2009-06-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

sometimes you just gotta laugh
at the way things aren't going your way...
welcome back to texas Nourallahs!!!!

it started with a couple of photoshoots Jayme had
where her camera malfunctioned
she had the unfortunate task of having to call these poor people
after the fact
and tell them they had to come back
in all the years she's been taking photos professionally
this had never happened before
she felt terrible
i felt terrible for her
she handled it gracefully though
and her clients were very understanding and kind
she ended up having to put in twice the work but we made it through
the fiasco ok
1 down...
then
last wednesday a storm rolled in to town
we had plenty of sideways Forrest Gump rain
and my recording studio flooded
i spent 3 hours running around
soaking wet
frantically trying to move things to safety
i couldn't stop the water from coming in
i felt completely helpless
i thought later of the poor people in New Orleans
who suffered through the floods there
we can't even imagine the horror they went through
so many who drown in their own homes
i felt lucky
and sick for their pain and loss
so this was nothing, right?
just a minor inconvenience really
a hello kitty band aide and i'd be better
...it still sucked...
our power was out too
for 3 days
we kept waiting for it to come back on
"oh, it'll be any minute now..." as we sweat our asses off
in the 90 degree heat
we went to the mall
to kill some time and soak in some A.C.
we saw the terrible "Night at the Museum 2"
(at least Gav liked it)
we ate out
ate out some more
Buzzbrew's
Teppo
Scalini's
we went to the art fair Saturday morning
it was miserable
we spent as much time out of the house as we could
unbelievably hot and humid everywhere that had no A.C.
it made me think of how sweaty and smelly the people must've been back
in the old West days...whew...glad it's 2009 and not 1809
by day 3 we were beginning to come unravelled a bit
so we fled to Plano
to stay the night at Jayme's parents house
we were there for 3 hours when our neighbor called
"your front porch lights just turned on..."
time to celebrate!!
but on the way home i felt the crushing pressure of mounting home improvement bills
1) fix the studio flooding problem
2) buy a new water heater and convert a closet to try and make more room for baby stuff
3) build a carport so we don't have to keep taking Mini over to Naab's
i spent most of sunday getting the studio back in order
but was grateful to not have to endure another day of the no electricity monkey business
monday, tuesday, wednesday
i felt pretty good
got back to running
spent some quality time with Gavin
things were sort of back to normal
until this morning
around 10am
Jayme accidentally deleted a folder with the 1600 pictures she took
on our trip to Europe
no backup
no way to get them back
she felt sick
i felt sick
we downloaded some recovery software
it didn't work
we both knew things could be worse
but it still felt terrible
i tried to work in the studio
but i was distracted all afternoon
i felt really bad for her because i knew she blamed herself
and would continue to do so for a long time to come
around 4 i started calling data recovery places
it was a drag
$500 to $2000 were most of the quotes i got
i finally found someone more reasonable
and took our PC to them in bumper to bumper traffic
then i tried to get back to the studio in time to meet Bales
more bumper to bumper
(oh, the woeful "mendult" world!!)
where were those green and pleasant fields of Chalus?
while i was gone rip got an unannounced drop-by from an unwanted visitor
i can't really go into details but it was upsetting to me
just another thing to heap on the plate of today's suck
by the time i got home it was almost time to go to my gig at the All-Good

all in all
i felt like a whipped dog

ma' blog is back in town!!!

2009-06-17T08:28:00.001-07:00

my dear blog
gone for 2 months
removed by the blogger spambots
mysteriously
with no explanation
(could i have been a victim of sabotage?)
i wrote blogger countless times
"give me ma' blog back!!!!...pleeze..."
no reply
"i will report thee to the highest authoritee!!"
no reply
i believe there are no actual human beings working for blogger
just spambots
but now
through the good graces of my metallic friends
outta nowhere
with no notice or explanation or apology

it's baaaaccckkkkk!!!!

(thanks to carla who noticed at 2:30am)

for those of you who missed the german tour diary (which i posted on facebook instead)
let me know if you want me to re-posted them here
i will

i was working on a song about being in a coma when i got the good news
(as pointed out by julian - strange coincidence that my blog has been in a coma!)
gotta get back to that now

love

s

day 19 - Paris (part 4)

2009-05-24T23:57:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I’d been sick for the past 3 days
It never really kicked in full tilt
I just thought I was tired
Today
Our last day in Paris
Was the only day I really felt 100%
I felt great though
Which was good
Because we did a ton of things
Jayme and Gavin went to see if they could climb to the top of Notre Dame
Around 10am
I stayed in the apartment to wait for the leasing agency guy
So he could inpsect the place and tell us how to check out
I took the alone time to catch up on my tour notes
And emails
Around 11 the buzzer went off
“I am at zee door – buzz me in pleaze”
I pushed the button outside the front door
And the doorbell went off
BUZZ!!!!
“I am ztill here! Hang up the phone to let me in”
so I hung up the phone
BUZZ!!!!
“Push the phone like you are hanging up!!!”
what?
Like this?
It seemed to work
Next I hear the clomp clomp clomp of this guys racing up four flights of stairs
He rushed into the room out of breath with a motorcycle helmet tucked under one arm
“You didn’t break anything right?”
he said as he looked hurriedly around the living room
“No…” I said
“Ok, you are fine to leave…”
that was casual…
at 11:30 J and G came back
they said the line for Notre Dame was 2 hours
so they passed
G was merrily clinging to a toy Eiffel Tower that Jayme got him instead
I have no idea how you actually play with an Eiffel tower but he seemed to have grand plans for it
We decided to do some exploring next
We walked to the Pompidou center to have lunch
Along the way we stopped and got some street food
A sandwich at a place I noticed was always crowded (a good sign?)
Plus my new favorite
An almond croissant
At the Pompidou we sat on the cobblestones and ate out lunch in the sun
While surveying the scene of people all gathered there
Afterwards we headed to the doll museum to meet Maureen (Cody wasn’t feeling well and had the same symptoms I had earlier – sorry Cody!)
The doll museum was amusing for Jayme
Especially the extensive retro Barbie collections
The rest of the afternoon was a flurry of activity
We took the metro to Sacré-Cœur
The church on the hill
We’d been there on the last trip but I wanted to see it again
It was really crowded so we didn’t go to the top
We just sat on the grass near the bottom for a bit then left
Next stop was the opera house
Then we walked to the park near the Louvre
And sat at a café there for something to drink
Maureen got some more classic Parisian lack of service
With a waitress who completely ignored her request for food
Then wouldn’t look at her for 45 minutes
She finally had to get her to come to the table by firing a flare gun at a small child (well almost…)
By the time we took the metro back home it was already 6:30
We spent an hour packing our bags for our flight home tomorrow
Then walked to an Italian restaurant to meet M and C for dinner
I was hoping for a nice last dinner here
We didn’t really get that
But what we did get was a waitress who completely screwed up our orders
Then ignored us for an hour while an untouched pizza sat on the end of our table – in plain sight
After Maureen asked them politely 3 times for the check we finally paid
And then chef chased after us yelling in French because I dared to take the receipt
The manager then scribbled something on a piece of paper with another restaurants info on it and handed that to me as the official “receipt”
I wasn’t too thrilled with the lot of them but it didn’t ruin my mood
I felt great and happy to be with my friends and family in this beautiful city
After dinner we hopped the metro to take G on a boat ride
Finally - Paris by night!!!
Our son was in awe of the Eiffel tower
Literally giggling with excitement every time we caught a glimpse of it
It was pretty spectacular seeing it lit up
Definitely one of the most awe-inspiring things I’ve ever seen
Everything was serene and beautiful until a teen peeing off a bridge drenched half the boat and jolted us into the reality of human cruelty
Luckily I narrowly avoided it
But I felt really sorry for a young Japanese couple who got hit
I wanted to throttle whoever did that to them
It was so barbaric
That incident aside
It was a great finale to the trip
Now tomorrow morning we have to get up at 7 to catch our taxi to the airport
It’s already 1am
Time for bed!!

day 18 - Paris (part 3) the Man-day!!

2009-05-24T05:31:00.000-07:00

today was deemed “man-day”
and “girl-day”
the boys splitting off to kill time while we let the girls
do girly shopping things that would only bore our manly men pants to tears
we met M and C at 9:15 to walk to the Bastille area where our boat was leaving
the girls waved good-bye to us around 9:45 while our boat pulled away
with the speed of a disabled tortoise
we then spent the next 2 hours creeping up the canal
G loved it
I almost fell asleep 2 or 3 times
sitting in the sun and moving so slowly sort of lulled me into
an extreme state of jellyfish relaxation
at the end of the ride we passed the Science and Art museum
which Gavin enthused over due to the giant silver ball out front
“I want to go to there!!!” he exclaimed
unfortunately we were dropped off a bit too far away from it to go back
so we caught the metro back into town
Cody had sweetly lined up a trip to a store with a vast collection
of Star Wars figurines
after a quick and almost nasty lunch at a dodgy sandwich shop (I’m to blame on suggesting this one!)
we took G into the comic book shop
he loved it
gazing intently at transformers
Star Wars figures
and other toys that caught his interest
he was looking for the rare Jango Fett
Boba’s father
we crossed the street to another store
where G intently scanned the shelves for Jango
a couple of times I said “Come on, we gotta go now.”
and Gavin said “Daaad…I’m still looking for Jango”
his patience paid off when he finally found him
I enjoyed buying his prized Jango
“You’re such a nice Dada.” he gushed
our Manday continue as we walked past the Notre Dame cathedral
contemplated going to the top of it
looked at the line wrapped around the side of the building for 5 seconds
and decided to move on
we hit a cupcake shop and another pastry shop on the way back to our apartment
the girls checked in a let us know they were still hours away from wrapping up their shopping
so we had to figure out something else to do
we decided to walk to a large vintage clothes store called Come On Eileen
when we got there I found a sea of over-priced, dodgy vintage clothes
and nowhere to try anything on even if you found something
in the basement we discovered two Swedes stripped down to their underwear
trying pants on in the middle of the store
so you might ask…why is someone from Texas (which has great vintage clothes shopping) doing this?
boredom and curiosity
Cody took us to the French equivalent of Tower records next
FNAC
it was interesting browsing the cd section
I even found an F Nourallah disc
we walked back to the flat
the girls still weren’t back yet
so we waited a half hour
when they finally arrived around 5:30
they told us some tragic tales of the French work ethic
in which 5 places they wanted to visit
with store hours clearly posted saying they should be open
were in fact closed
the doll museum
which Jayme desperately wanted to visit
even had it’s rude curator smoking a cigarette out in front with a closed signed on
they said they had to try 2 or 3 times to get him to actually tell them what was up
instead of muttering and making hand motions
he finally said “Well, look at the hours of operation right here…”
the sign said they were supposed to be open
anyway they still had some more shops they wanted to visit
or peer at from behind CLOSED signs
so they went out again
Cody went back to his apartment
G and I stayed in
2 hours later Jayme came back
of course they had experienced more unexpected store closings
around 8 we walked over to M and C’s place
they cooked up the rest of the pasta from the other night
we had a nice time talking
while Gava played with Jango
around 10:30 we walked home
we were passed out by 11

day 17 - Paris (part 2)

2009-05-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

considering I slept like a baby
in the ulta-comfy Posh Spice bed
I should’ve felt great today
instead I felt like 1 centavo
I guess the tour had caught up with me
the bags under my eyes
the lethargy
the feeling twice my age
what was the solution?
to do stuff…
Jayme slept only 1 hour last night (more pregnancy pains!!!)
so G and I met Maureen and Cody at breakfast in America
we hoped Jayme would go back to sleep while we were away
B in A was great
good prices and good ‘ole American style food
Gavin had buttermilk pancakes
I had a breakfast burrito
our waitress was really friendly too (which counts for something in Paris)
after breakfast we went back to our apartment
Jayme was too wound up about seeing her favorite city in the universe
to go back to sleep
she was ready to get out and go sightseeing
M and C were taking us to the famous Pere Lachaise cemetery today
we caught the underground and took it all the way to the top
so we didn’t have to struggle with the uphill walk through the cemetery
the way most tourists do
once again the weather was perfect
sunny and 70ish
we visited Oscar Wilde’s grave
Chopin
and lastly, Jim Morrison
who was tucked away and surrounded by a barrier
so people wouldn’t mess with his corpse
the Doors didn’t mean a thing to me so mainly this was just an oddity to me
being in Pere Lachaise was awe-inspiring though
gravestones as far as the eye could see
made me appreciative to be here
on this beautiful day with my family
and not in a coffin stuck in the ground
walking the cemetery took several hours
after that we caught the metro (thanks to M and C’s guidance)
and stopped at a typical French bistro for lunch
I passed on eating
after lunch we did some more walking
through the busy streets of Paris
we agreed to meet up later for dinner
J, G and I then went back to our apartment
it was about 4
I laid down for a quick siesta and woke up 3 hours later
J and G were passed out by my side
although they didn’t sleep as long as I did
I felt a lot better
I took a nice Posh Spice shower
then we walked to Maureen and Cody’s flat
about 5 minutes away
we ended up eating in the basement of Mai Thai while all the other patrons
enjoyed their nice tables upstairs and outside
the food was average, the prices ok
I remain foiled by eating anything other than sweets in Paris
it seems to me anybody can open a restaurant here
provide crappy service
dull food and just because they are in wonderful Paris
people will jam pack the place
it kind of annoys me
anyway
after dinner we had a short stroll through our neighborhood
the sky was an amazing sunlit blue
G cut it short when he announced he had to go pee
so we high-tailed it back to our apartment
for bedtime

day 16 - Paris (part 1)

2009-05-22T01:41:00.000-07:00

we woke up at 9
and took a long walk to the park near the Louvre
we stopped on the way and got a tuna baguette sandwich
and some pastries
we sat at a fountain and ate them
they were delicious
the weather was perfect too
sunny and 70ish
after that we walked back to our flat
all in all about 3 hours of walking
we met up with Maureen and Cody around 2
they took us to a French restaurant for lunch
G spilled hot chocolate all over his El Cotzu shirt
ruining it
after lunch we did some more walking
ended up at a huge department store
the French version of super-Target (I was told)
I wasn’t that interested in it and was tired
so Cody, G and I had a drink in the café
while M and J shopped
we decided to split up and the men went to get some food
Cody took us to an Italian place where you buy freshly made pasta and take it home to cook
it’s kinda like a specialized Central Market thing
except it was 3 times more expensive
I guess it was worth it though
the pasta was ridiculously good
we cooked it up back at our posh Spice apartment
and went to bed at 10:30 after the sun had just set

day 15 - going to Paris

2009-05-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

we waved goodbye to Amy and Eric
as they stood on the front step of their house
it was 11:30
Eric’s birthday too
I was sad we couldn’t stay and celebrate it with him
we had a 4 and a half hour drive to Paris ahead of us
an hour up the road we got a “check tire pressure” prompt
from the Benz
great
we stopped at a gas station
and did our best to approximate the air pressure gauge
even though everything was in French
Jayme also took this chance to get more double magnum ice cream bars for her and G
as soon as we hit Paris traffic it was mayhem
a flurry of shitty cars and crazy motorcyclists
we were swept away in the current of traffic
the GPS guided us to our first destination
the office where we were to pick up the key to our apartment
that went smoothly
first checkmark on the to do list
then we went a quarter of a kilometer
to the apartment
where we dropped off the bags and the man from the leasing agency
came pedaling up on a bike
to let us in
the 4 flights of stairs were a killer
but Jayme deserves another gold star as tour manager of the century
for finding us this amazing flat
with an incredible view
for as much per night as a cruddy hotel room would cost (see G’s video tour)
the last thing to do now was get rid of our Benz
it had served us well
over 4,000 kilometers
but in Paris it had become a big liability
the Eurocar drop off was less than a kilometer away
go Jayme!
she had that all figured out too
we were less than 200 meters away though when
guess what?
our street came to an end
random road construction strikes again
we had to back up and come back down the street with a line of cars honking
at us
they had no idea they’d be greeted with the same fate
we managed to squeeze out of there
with the GPS going crazy
trying to guide us in a circle back to that same situation
this is when Jayme decided to take matters into her own hands
she whipped out a map of Paris and ignored the GPS
in 5 minutes she found a way for us to go round to the other side of the blocked street
we felt like celebrating when we pulled the car down the Eurocar ramp
checklist complete!
we walked back to the flat
up the 4 flights again
whew…
then settled into our Posh Spice apartment
I fell in love with this view from the bedroom window
it was spectacular
I had to get my guitar out and just sit there and play a bit
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=81760264175&ref=mf
around 7:30 our friends Maureen and Cody
from Oakland
rang us up
they were at our front door with a falafel dinner
they’re going to be spending the next 4 days with us here
showing us ‘round and taking care of us
as they come to Paris just about every year
know all the cool places
and speak French!!
yippee…

day 14 - (Part 2) the finale at Les Toques

2009-05-20T01:17:00.000-07:00

we headed for the gig in Pergeux
in Eric’s big white van
around 3:45
it was an hour and a half drive to get there
I wish I had a transcript or recording of the conversation
it was great
we hit on a bunch of Stiff’s from Jake Riviera to Nick Lowe
Les Toques is another cool bar
they had my poster prominently featured
along with a poster for Amy and Eric
the people who worked there were all really friendly
especially Tobi
the owner
Eric and I took our time setting up
then we decided to practice and add a few numbers to our expanding repertoire
he played bass on “Pictures Collected”
then I played bass on his classic “School”
Amy arrived with Emmanual around 7
with practiced some more then sat down in the courtyard outside
for some dinner
we had a large table with lots of their friends joining us
I had the Reggae Reggae
a fish sandwich that didn’t quite live up to its name
the French fries were outta this world though
at 10 I started my set
I felt good but the talking was quite loud
I was ok with it but I could tell Emmanual Eric and Amy
were not happy with the rudeness of it
I started “Model Brothers” but just couldn’t get past the first 2 lines
because they were drowning me out
by the time I got to “Be Here Now” though
the entire bar was dead silent and it was a powerful moment
I think it’s the best I’ve ever played that song
and I even had 2 people afterwards ask about that one in particular
Eric joined me on “Pictures” then it was off to the races
“She’d Walk a Mile” with more Balalaika flying over the shoulders
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=81427794175&ref=mf
a one/two “Public Skool” “School” medley
then a rousing “Girl with the Wandering Eye”
and the highlight (for me at least)
“Whole Wide World”
I could’ve ended on that and felt fully satisfied but there was still much more to come
“1978” then our two standards “Bus Stop” and “Misery”
I wish it could’ve just gone on and on and on
it was the perfect tour finale
we were done about midnight
milled around talking
one girl who had been dancing all night like she was
in a French musical (which i'd loved concentrating on instead of the talkers)
said "there is a universe in your music..."
i met another kid who said he had all of the Centromatic Old 97
records and was an avid follower of this kind of Texas music
that was pretty cool to hear this far away in the South of France
around 1am Eric and I took the van back home through the dark
and winding streets
we had more great conversation
and then bonus conversation until 3:30 once we got home

i'll try and post some video footage now

day 14 - La Taverne (Part 1)

2009-05-19T02:29:00.000-07:00

we finally got going around 11:30
Amy and Eric said we’d better run up to the market for some supplies
because on Sunday they close at noon
in the checkout line I noticed one of my posters hanging
near the exit
Eric had apparently put them everywhere to promote the show
we joked around about having me do a “signing” near the Fromage section
which was unreasonably cold
Spinal Tap would have nothing on us!
a five minute drive through the country took us to another town
and another market
where Eric bought an assortment of cheeses
I got some apple juice 2 bananas and some fruit cups for G
we then walked up the street to a bakery
the second Gavin saw the 3 foot long loaf of bread
he shouted out “that’s what I want Dada – that’s what I want!!”
on the way back to the car Eric challenged a speeding driver to slow down
in French
with hand motions
almost like a bullfighter
it was exciting
back at the house we had cheese and bread
drank tea
and talked
I could listen to Eric tell stories for ages
he gave me a tour of his studio
and played some unreleased tracks
while J and G explored the backyard with Amy
Eric’s collection of vintage instruments was like a shrine for me
I’ll post a video later of it
around 2 we decided we should get out for a bit
as it was a beautiful day
we drove 10 minutes to a little Chalet/castle
and popped into a local tavern for some snacks
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=81090479175
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=81090479175#/video/video.php?v=81088099175
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=81090479175#/video/video.php?v=81083709175
Abba played the entire time we were there
it was charming

day 13 - Cussac and Wreckless Eric

2009-05-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

day 13 was a blur
one of the longest days i've ever had
I didn’t get to bed until half past 1
at 7am I was up
ready to hit the road
J and G were snuggled up on their bed
sleeping peacefully
I hated waking them
we finally got G dressed and fed
and hit the road around 8:15
we entered Belgium from Aachen in a matter of minutes
I had no idea actually that we were that close to the border
it was a peaceful drive
not much traffic
mellow drivers
we entered France a couple of hours later
and it was the same
easy sailing
in Paris Jayme navigated us successful to the East
avoiding the inner ring
the traffic got a little crazy briefly
but all in all
it was a cakewalk
once we’d gotten south of Paris
there were hardly any cars on the road at all
and we made excellent time
only stopping once
at 4:30 we were winding our way through scenic French backroads
to get to Cussac
where Wreckless Eric and Amy Rigby live
now a bit of a rock’n’roll history lesson for those of you
who don’t know anything about Eric
he was an original Stiff Records recording artist back in 1978
alongside Elvis Costello Nick Lowe the Damned and Graham Parker
with slogans like "we came. we saw. we left."
"When You Kill Time, You Murder Success" (printed on promotional wall clocks)
and "In '78 everyone born in '45 will be 33-1/3".
Siff blew to bits the label as corporation model
that had previously existed
see Nick Lowe’s classic “I love My Label”
anyway I’ve been following Eric for a long time now
a fan of both his Stiff records and then the slew
of indie releases over the past 25 years since then
Donovan of Trash is a classic I highly recommend
and the new cd which he and Amy released jointly
is great too
I met Eric in Dallas last Fall
and when Bucks Burnett introduced me to him as “this is my friend who goes and plays Europe all the time”
I never actually thought I’d be able to make good on Eric’s offer to come visit
and play France
so it’s been a slow steady build-up of anticipating this day
when we got to Cussac our GPS said “You have reached your destination”
22 rue de limoges
but we were staring at an abandon building with 22 written on it
I got out of the car to look around
and an elderly gentlemen peeked out of his door and said something in French to me
I walked over
said my one word “bonjour”
then thrust my address at him on a piece of paper
he didn’t seem to know who it was
a bad sign
we then spent the next 10 minutes driving around this small area in circles
until we came back to the same spot
this time the man had his wife with him
she seemed to know this address and they spoke French to us like we understood
and pointed a lot
we smiled and nodded our heads
drove off to arrive back at the same spot our GPS kept telling us to go to
then I spotted another old lady whom I approached
she did a slightly better job at using hand signals
and we pulled up along a building with 22 on it
that was it
when I knocked I heard a lady say “hello” from behind the door
it was Amy
we unloaded our bags
and then drove to Le Lawrence D’Arabie
where I was to play
the drive was about 10 minutes but the route was unbelievable
narrow one lane country roads
past barns and farms
horses and sheep
we were seriously in the sticks out here
it was really funny
when we got to Chalus we pulled up to the sounds of Eric checking one two
over the P.A.
it was a bit surreal
Le' Lawrence D Arabia had a great vibe to it
the PA was set up in front of a large brick fireplace that looked positively medieval
it was cozy
and the room sounded really good
Eric had brought his entire soundsystem in his van
which was really incredibly nice of him considering all the work involved
(all done outta friendship too - not for money)
the rest of the evening was a blur
Eric and I did a soundcheck and then practiced
some of the songs we'd discussed performing together via email
then he let me play his Framus bass with Joe Strummer’s old guitar strap on it
and we ran through his classic
“the girl with the wandering eye”
Amy’s “men with sandals” was last with Eric sort of talk singing the vocal
G kept himself entertained the whole while by drawing
the best of which was a defacing of one of my tour posters
in which he and his mother turned me into a pirate
after a bit Amy turned up and we ran the songs again
then we all went upstairs and sat down for some dinner
Nico
the owner
made some of the best pizza I’ve ever had
we met Eric’s friend Emanuel who was super-cool
he loved G’s Wreckless Eric t-shirt
and Clash patch
he told me his first concert ever was in ‘78
when the Clash played Paris
pretty cool
around 9 I started playing
there was actually a surprisingly large British contingent in the room
the hardest thing for me was playing for Eric
as he’s a hero of mine
the crowd was enthusiastic but there was lot's of loud talking
my new friend Emanuel and Eric looked very concerned and upset by this
Emanuel told some guys to keep quite then a fight almost broke out
the main offender had those creepy extra huge black earrings stuck in
his lobes
he was mean looking
they were giving Emanuel a hard time
so then i stopped and said over the PA "hey, you!!!"
the guy wouldn't look at me
i said it again
"hey, you - look at me. over here on the mic" as i tapped it loudly
he finally looked up at me
"if you came all the way from france to Texas to play in my local bar
i'd respect you and keep quite or go talk outside, so i'm telling you please...
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!"

that was the end of it
he stood quietly in the crowd then ducked out later
i played solo a bit longer then
Eric and Amy joined me for a rousing "she'd walk a mile"
with Eric on an extended Balalaika solo that he threw over his head
when he was done with it
then we veered into
Amy's "men with sandals"
Eric's "the girl with the wandering eye" (with me on bass)
nourallah brother's "public school"
and the grand finale
"1978"
i loved every second of it
and it seemed the crowded bar did to
afterwards Jayme sold a bunch of merch
including all of our t-shirts
the owners Nico and Sabine hug me at least 3 times each
and told me how great it was
G passed out in Jayme's lap around midnight
we took him out to the car
and then i tried for at least half an hour to get out of Le' Lawrence
around 1am
we followed the pitch black winding roads back to Eric's house
what a day...

day 12 - Aachen Rastatte

2009-05-15T17:56:00.000-07:00

tonight's show in Aachen was amazing
the best one yet
70 people packed into Rastatte
many who have seen me all three years
requests for new songs like pictures collected
and oldies like i'll be around
3 encores
1 with Johannes from Late Call
we did she'd walk a mile and stranger in my own skin
together
sold a bunch a cds too for that git who was down last week in Giessen
i even got to see one of Germany's coolest castles today as well
Burgeltz
no cheese though
i'll be back with more details from France with Wreckless E
i have to get up at 7am
it's already 1
we've got a 8 hour drive
then the show
2 sets too
so i'll post more once i get out of the coma!!!

love

s

day 11 - Bacharach

2009-05-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

I didn’t sleep well last night
I was all wound up from the NUN gig
plus the bed sheet underneath me sort of had a grainy
towelesque texture
it felt like a wheat thin
I just couldn’t get comfortable
around 8 I rolled out of bed
feeling like I never really went to sleep
i posted my latest tour note
and wrote emails then at 10 J and G woke up
we went downstairs to have breakfast with Mark and his wife
in their flat
they’d laid out a huge spread for us
a basket of bread
5 different jams
cheese
eggs
Mark made us tea
and Jayme went for what she thought was sugar
two minutes later
“Ugh!!”
it was French salt
we all had a good laugh over that one
the German Cherry jam I had was outta this world
and we drank tea and talked
mainly about German/American societal differences
religion
guns laws
schooling
German people who drive too fast
the time flew by
before we knew it 2 hours had passed
as if they were 15 minutes
at noon we packed up
we had a few nice moments with Mark and his sons Noah and Meyo (see video)
http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=642704175#/video/video.php?v=79763549175
then we said goodbye and headed for Bacharach
I felt sad when we left
I want to come back here again to the NUN and Mark and his family
our GPS said we’d be at scenic Bacharach on the Rhein in 2 hours
perfect
I took my time today
drove slow
called Matthias, Basti, Dirk and Gunther
to let them know we were having a great time
and to also say goodbye
we’d be mailing the Tapete cell phone they lent us back to Hamburg
once we hit France on Saturday
so now was the time to use it one last time
about half an hour away from our destination
Jayme said “Wait a minute…we’re heading back to Giessen”
she checked the GPS route and sure enough
we were on a completely wrong route
she was upset with herself for the screw-up
but I told her we were in no hurry
it was no biggie
we only lost an hour afterall
as we back-tracked it to Frankfurt
and then on to Bacharach
about 15 minutes away from the town
the scenery got amazing
like nothing we’d ever witnessed in Germany before
the Rhein to our right
splitting lush mountains to either side
it was spectacular
“Act Naturally” with Ringo singing came on the I-Pod
it was a funny moment
“they’re gonna put me in the movies…”
Bacharach is everything and more than what we thought Hameln would be
oozing with charm
cobblestone streets
a large Castle looking down over the town
our Hotel is a Rick Steve’s recommend
with our room situated at the top of an old city tower
spectacular views to either side of it
and a train track that runs 20 feet to the west of us
(the room is heavily insulated)
around 5 we started exploring the town
Jayme bought a little pink antique porcelain box
that was so her
it looked like Marie Antoinette had once owned it
we picked an Italian restaurant and sat outside
enjoying the cool weather
and old German town ambience
we ordered fried fish for G
one of the only things he eats
they sent him chicken instead
almost the same thing, right?
I had spaghetti with Salmon in a garlic wine sauce
but more importantly J and G giddily ordered and consumed ridiculously large
ornate German desserts
they walked ‘em off by a 1 kilometer climb to the huge castle overlooking the town (see video)
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=81090479175#/video/video.php?v=79643534175
I don’t have the words to describe how amazing the views were
it was incredible
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=81090479175#/video/video.php?v=79787614175
after going to the top of this mountain
and back down
we headed to our Hotel
I was able to get in a short practice for my show Saturday in France
with Wreckless Eric and Amy Rigby
we’re doing Amy’s “Men in Sandals”
Eric’s “the Girl with the Wandering Eye”
and a couple of mine
“1978”
and 2 Nourallah Brothers tunes
I’ve been looking forward to this for months
and now
I can hardly believe it’s almost here
but I don’t want to skip over Rastatte in Aachen tomorrow night
my other favorite German venue
I can’t wait for Friday night
it’s gonna be alright
alright

day 10 - Heidelburg and Cafe NUN

2009-05-14T02:32:00.000-07:00

at least the City Hotel, Giessen, had a comfy bed
I woke up well rested to the sound of jackhammers
drilling on the street outside
Jayme had been kept awake most of the night by the sounds
of a Russian businessman snoring next door
yes
it was that loud
or
the walls were that thin
i hauled one load of luggage to the car while she went upstairs
to try and get close enough to the wireless connection
down the cobbled streets i went
ka-chud ka-chud ka-chud
Gavin happily following and singing
“Dada is a poo head, poo – Dada is a poo head”
on the windshield was some sort of parking ticket
or warning
I guessed warning because of this word verwarnungsgeidstelle
maybe i should use the google translator to find out?
after we finally loaded up the car
and tried to get the proper parking pass (which I don’t think we ever did)
from a machine on the corner that kept spitting back our change
we walked to a bakery and had a proper German breakfast
gigantic crème and fruit filled pastries
then we had a proper German post breakfast walk
we bought G a leggo car in a toy shop
and had a nice walk through the Giessen town center
then Jayme said “Why don’t we go to Heidelburg? It’s on the way to Karlsruhe…”
I liked that idea since Heidelburg is one of the prettiest towns I’ve ever been to
we’d already been there twice
so we kinda knew our way around
it was only an hour and a half drive from Giessen
and by 1 we were sitting in a restaurant there having tartes for lunch
(they were excellent by the way - kind of pizza like with a thin crust and cream instead of tomato sauce)
we spent the next 4 hours walking Heidelburg
we completed a 3 time Nourallah family tradition established in Heidelburg in 2006
with the purchasing of the giant chocolate balls
we walked the entire town center
walked alongside the river
over the big fancy bridge
took a picture with the famous bridge monkey
ate ice cream
climbed the tower of a church
two nice elderly people even randomly gave Gavin gifts
(was it because he was adorable or because he was sporting an Obama t-shirt?)
you be the judge…
we got to Karlsruhe around 5:30
it’s only a half hour from Heidelburg
which was easy
from the second we set foot in Café NUN I realized how much I love this place
my first trip here in September of ‘07
was really the best gig of the entire tour
the owner Mark and I became friends that night
and the entire NUN crew was awesome
it felt like I had just been here
like I just stood on this very stage soundchecking while a 4 year old Gavin played behind me
now we were here again
almost as if we’d never left
the sun streaming in the big windows from the West
the cool red and gold mural on the back wall
as we talked over dinner
I wanted it all to go slower
but the entire evening raced by
Mark took us to his house – where we’re staying
an ex-convent that was built in the ‘70s
it looks more like a hip apartment complex than anything else
we met his two boys Noah and Meyo and then had to go back to the NUN
I wrote up both of my set lists and then stood around and talked for a bit out front
of the club
the cool evening air felt great
I started at 9 with “so down”
the sound on stage was perfect
the lighting too
a nice crowd of smiling faces who I could all see clearly
sat to both sides of me
I played 12 songs and then took a fifteen minute break
"saint georges" felt particularly good
throughout both sets there was dead silence
and I felt like the connection I hope for at each show
that only sometimes occurs – happened in spades tonight
they were all with me every bit of the way
from the saddest songs to clapping along on “she’d walk a mile”
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=81090479175#/video/video.php?v=79771409175
I played “bus stop” and “whole wide world” for the first encore
and then
by special request
“it’s not enough”
I didn’t think I’d remember the words but I got most of them right
I also realized I should be playing this song
from here on out – it’s in

so now it’s 2am
and this amazing day
(and night) are over now
this shattered whatever silly questioning wall I’d hit yesterday
the past 24 hours alone (not to mention Hamburg/Potsdam and Berlin)
made this entire trip more than worthwhile
and Rastatte, the South of France with Wreckless Eric and Paris are still to come!
these are wonderful experiences and memories that J, G and I will have
the rest of our lives

I just wish it would all go a little bit slower

day 9 - Dusseldorf and Giessen

2009-05-13T03:43:00.000-07:00

we had another good day
Jayme got some much needed sleep in the Atlanta Hotel
which is what I’d hoped for
we pushed off from Vluyn around noon
and drove half an hour into the heart of Dusseldorf
to the old part of the city center
called Altstadt
it was supposed to be worth seeing
some of the people at the gig last night said not to drive
the traffic would be bad and parking a hassle
but it was really easy getting there
no traffic to speak of
and a handy parking garage as soon as we hit the no driving zone
the weather was great too
sunny and warm
we walked along the cobblestone street
peering into some art shops
and other interesting stores
in 10 minutes time we’d hit the waterfront
we found a restaurant scenically placed under these interesting looking knarled trees
with ultra-green leaves and round little lights dangling from them
our table overlooked the Marktplatz
a cobblestone filled open square
with a towering old steeple begind us
and view of the river in front
it was the best part of the day
Gavin fed the pigeons
took a nice photo of his parents
and ate bread
our food was good too
after lunch we explored the rest of Altstadt
which was only half interesting
it mainly seemed like a ton of pubs and drinking holes that come alive
at night
menacing clouds were beginning to roll in too
so around 3 we headed for the car
the drive to Giessen
a small college town where I was playing next
was only about 2 hours but it rained most the way
Jayme and I both agreed that one reason this tour feels a lot easier than the other two
is that the drives we’ve been making are so much more manageable
we got to Giessen by 5
and navigated the no driving zone
lugging all of our suitcases and my equipment 100 yards or more up a busy street
in the drizzling rain
the venue for this evening
Ulenspiegel
was only one third of a kilometer away (very close)
we walked there around 6:30
looking around for street numbers
it was supposed to be at 54 Selterweg
when we got to 71 without seeing it
I noticed a guy busking with an acoustic guitar
so I asked him if he’d heard of it
he said “sure, it’s down there near the ice cream shop”
and pointed
we had walked right past as it was tucked down an alley
I don’t think we ever would’ve found it without our friendly buskers help
upon our arrival at the club the promoter Toby
greeted us with a great big smile and plenty of hospitality
he hooked us up with the Bitchen Bistro for a nice meal
and took very good care of us with drinks and food all night
the club was great too
nice décor and more great sound (the norm for German acoustic venues)
this was another double show opening for the Late Call
I went on at 8:30
straight out of the gate I was a bit dismayed by the blinding stage lighting
I couldn’t see one single audience member all night
I should’ve said something and learned a lesson to do so next time it happens
I felt completely disconnect from the room for 45 minutes
it was disappointing
what otherwise should’ve been an enjoyable show
was not that enjoyable for me
it felt like I just wanted to get it over with
in fact
I cut my set one song short just so I could get off the stage
I felt like a chicken nugget under a heat lamp
afterwards it was hard for me to relax
I walked J and G back to the hotel
kissed them goodnight
then came back to the Ulenspiegel for my merch
I felt fidgety and moody during Johannes’ set
I found myself spiraling down the steep slope of self-doubt
and dashed expectations
I’m not just over here fucking off with my family
we didn’t come all this way just to eat cheese and look at castles
I’m here to hopefully get some people to listen to “Constellation”
and so far it’s hard for me to feel very good about that end result
after 5 shows cd sales have been meager at best
we’ve come a long way to be here
it’s taken a lot of hard work
and support from our friends and family
yes, we’ve had a great time here
and there will be more to come
but tonight the reality of it all got to me a bit
it dawned on me that this could very well be our last trip to Germany
we’ve been here three times now
crisscrossed almost every square mile of autobahn
seen almost every major city
visited castles
walked parks
ate cheese
soiled lederhosen
been there
done that
been there again and did it too
for the past 18 months I felt a strong urge pulling me to come back here
it wouldn’t subside
even when I wanted it to shut the F up
I’m really glad to be here again
but now I feel like I’m saying goodbye to Germany

after the room cleared I hung out with Toby and Johannes for a bit
then walked back to the City Hotel
here I am now
typing in the dark
while J and G sleep peacefully
I’m so glad we’re going to Karlsruhe and Café NUN tomorrow
it was one of my best shows on the last tour
I hope it comes through again

day 8 - the comeback in Krefeld

2009-05-12T02:26:00.000-07:00

Jayme slept only 2 hours last night in Hotel Russia #2 (aka:the Mercure, Hameln)
I woke feeling a bit strange myself
my face hurt
like I’d been punched
we checked out
and then walked to a bakery for some breakfast
I ended up having lunch because I saw a vegetable and cream cheese
sandwich
it was green
I hadn’t seen much green lately
I thought I’d better eat it
our breakfast was nice and only 6 euros
Gavin had a “chocolate bazan” (croissant)
the town was also a little calmer
which was much nicer than yesterday
on the way back G did his “birdie customer!” routine
were he chased one of the street pigeons
it was really cute
I wanted to film it
my video camera was dead
we headed out of Hameln
with not an ounce of sentimentality
today’s drive was only 2 hours
the routing on this tour has been a lot less punishing than the first two
which is nice for the driver
me
I was hopeful that we’d have another good day and get back on track
I booked a hotel on the fly last night to save sagging morale (go internet!)
it’s called the Atlanta
in Vluyn Neukirchen
just outside Krefeld
it looked really nice online
with Jayme not sleeping much and also knowing the promoter had booked a 50euro pit
I didn’t want to take any chances with two bum nights in a row
this 5 star Hotel was also only 89 euros a night
I absolutely believe that for close to 100 euros per night you can stay in a posh hotel with lots of personality
this is why I get so pissed off when we stay at places that suck for the same price or more
they’re just ripping people off!!
a possible book idea?
the drive today was on one of my least favorite autobahns
Krefeld is just outside the crowded industrial epicenter of Dusseldorf/Dortmund/Koln
the traffic is horrible
18 wheelers as far as the eye can see all hugging the right lane
crawling along
while Audi, Volkswagon and Benz folk race by in the left lane at speeds well over 100 miles per hour
it’s a bit disconcerting
we got to Vluyn around 2:30
a peaceful suburb
just as I had imagined
the hotel was really nice
our room had a kitchenette
3 awesome views
and carpet that actually looked like it wasn’t going to crawl away in shame
we were happy
we spent the entire afternoon relaxing
Jayme watching CNN on the couch while I caught up on emails
around 6pm we all went to Kulturrampe
it was only about 10 minutes away
we had to get on a highway to get there but it was easy
I’d played Kulturrampe once before for the “Snowing In Mein Heart” tour in ‘07
it was the last gig of the tour when Matthias and I pulled an all-nighter driving 10 hours round trip from Hamburg in the pouring rain
thank _____ (enter your God’s name here) that tonight was not gonna be a repeat
I remembered the promoter Markus
was really nice and I also remembered how to find the Rampe
(we got lost the first time as it’s in an industrial loading dock with no address)
we got there with no problem
Markus greeted us warmly
I set up
had a quick soundcheck
and then M told us we could go have dinner at a Greek restaurant next door
no one there spoke English but we did alright communicating with them in our pigeon German and hand signals
J and I had fish with fries
G had fries and ice cream (health food) while also making a new friend (see video)
http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=642704175#/video/video.php?v=78706079175
I was really glad my family was with me tonight
I get tired of going to all the shows by myself
they are the best entertaining company to have
anyway we had a really good time at dinner then walked back around the corner to the Rampe
I went on at 8:30 and played a short (for Europe) 45 minute set
my label mate Johannes (aka: the late call)
had the 2nd slot which was nice so we could get home early
the sound was excellent
the audience was great
really polite and receptive
I felt like there was no language barrier here tonight at all
I also felt very relaxed and really enjoyed having J and G in attendance
http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=642704175#/video/video.php?v=78723209175
it was a solid show
I even made a new German friend afterwards who asked me to guess where he was in 1978…Eastwood High El Paso

it’s a small world indeed

sidenote on my video camera

2009-05-11T03:31:00.000-07:00

my video camera is still not working right
it will turn on sometimes
other times not at all
could it be the battery?
could it be the charger?
the 2 shops i've taken it to have no idea
and said i have to send it back to Sanyo
the camera apparently has a will of its own now
and has been set free to function whenever it wishes
so i just try and keep it charged
and whenever something cool happens that i'd like to film
i roll the Sanyo dice and see if i'm in luck!!!

p.s. yesterday in Hameln it decided to not turn on - maybe for the best, right?

day 7 - Hameln and the Pied rip-off

2009-05-11T02:34:00.000-07:00

was yesterday in Potsdam to good to be true?
i guess so…
our good luck streak came to a crashing halt in Hameln
touted as the city of the Pied Piper
a charming little town with cobblestone streets and half timbered houses
we thought it would be great to take Gavin hear
we found out Hameln was in fact a tourist trap
cleverly devised to rope in suckers like ourselves who didn’t know any better
i guess we’ve seen too much of the “real” Germany to go for it
we knew right away we’d been duped
thank you German tour book for recommending it!!
it all started at the Hotel Mercure
over priced and shoddy looking
(a recurring theme for the rest of the city)
our room looked like something from Georgia
and i don’t mean the one with Atlanta
at over 100 euros a night you’d think it would be more than decent
it wasn’t
after seeing our dreadful room i went back to the front desk and asked if they could
possibly move us or maybe we could even pay an upgrade (to another Hotel?)
“sorry, un kinder bed is in your room”
that’s ok he can sleep in a double with us
“but um, we have no category for that…”
what does that mean? no category?
it just means to me you don’t care if your customer is happy or not…
thanks Mercure (or should i say Hotel Russia number 2?)

the next chain of events went like this
we walked to the tourist information office
it was closed
then we walked to the old town center
it was over-run with people and crummy shops selling tacky clothes
we walked to the river because i thought it might be more tranquil there
perhaps lined with bistros where we could eat outside and look at some pretty scenery
nope
the river was lined with concrete
we walked back to the center
and tried to find a restaurant
all the menus were full of desert items or pig dishes
we finally settled on one out of desperation
Jayme and i both ordered a tuna sandwich
what we got was a can of tune emptied on a stale piece of bread
with a cucumber on top
for the nice price of 7 euros
i couldn’t eat it
it was disgusting
we paid our 22 euro bill and left having had no lunch
Jayme had only slept a couple of hours the night before in Hotel Russia
so we walked back to the Hotel to regroup
G and i let J try and sleep for a little bit while we took a walk to try
and find something nice
we came back an hour later empty handed
all i found was a graveyard and an old folks home
i then spent an hour online trying to find a hotel in Krefeld
because we realized tomorrow could be even worse with the promoter
coughing up an underwhelming 50e for Russia Hotel number 3
i found something nice about 15 minutes out of town and booked it
i’m not taking any chances
around 6:30
we ventured back out for dinner
the streets had cleared so the town looked considerably better
still not very charming but better
we ate in a restaurant our tour book recommended called Ambrosia (one of J’s most loathed words)
that should have served as warning enough
the food was terrible and in keeping with the theme for the day
way over priced
it made me wonder who the hell wrote that tour book we got this info out of
i might have to send them a personal message when i get back
or
write my own!!
we walked back to Hotel Russia number 2
got some ice cream for J and G
not the best day we’ve ever had
that’s for sure
but at least we're together
nothing bad happened
it was just disappointing
and in the grand scheme of things i'll take disappointed any day of the week
over the slew of much worse things that can happen

day 6 - Potsdam and Magdeburg

2009-05-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

we woke up around 9 in Hotel Adina
our plan to go to Potsdam
where Churchhill and his gang signed the post World War II
splitting up Europe accord
we had a scenic drive out of Berlin
driving past the Holocaust memorial we’d seen yesterday from the tour bus
we also got to drive through a long straight avenue
lined with trees and shops
Potsdam is only about 40 minutes away
we were in for a special day
the weather couldn’t have been any more perfect
70
sunny
just the slight touch of a breeze
we parked the car and headed on foot for castle Sanssouci
built by King Frederic in the French rococo style (Jayme's favorite)
we bought our tickets
2 day passes for the entire park and all its castles
for 38 euros (kids free)
then we walked down the garden’s massive steps to a fountain
we ended up spending 6 hours walking the 11 kilometer park
we saw the Orangerie where they would grow tropical fruits in huge greenhouses
we climbed the 200 steps to its top and looked out over the amazing vista of the park
then we toured the Neue Palace which was spectacular
kind of like a smaller Versaille
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=81090479175#/video/video.php?v=78279754175
the Neue Palace only had 200 rooms
we got to see about 25 of them and it still took an hour to see
around 4 we headed back to the car along a tree lined path
it felt like we were in France
my show was at the Blue Note in Magdeburg
only about an hour away
it felt good to be in the car for a bit and off of our feet
Gavin fell asleep in the back seat
and we got to the club in no time
once there I was greeted by Jan
the promoter
he was really friendly and took good care of us
i had an easy soundcheck then we walked down the block to a restaurant
he said it was a place run by handicapped people as a sort of social experiment
although the chef “was not handicapped”
i think he meant – the food was good
we had a funny game of food charades with our waitress
who spoke not a word of English
the best part was watching Jayme try to pantomime “bread”
dinner was good
I had lachsteak – aka: salmon
apple strudel for desert
and G had a huge bowl of ice cream
the Plaza Hotel
where the music festival was putting us up in
unfortunately had a Russian pre-cold war vibe
with awful striped yellow and blue wallpaper
thin hideous carpet
shoddy brown furniture
and garish floral curtains that looked like an old ladies’ skirt
i felt bad leaving J and G alone there
if there was a good night to attend one of my shows
this was it!!
they were exhausted from Potsdam though so it would be Hotel Russia
for them
at the Blue Note Jan was nervously standing outside
waiting for more people to show up
the club had a really great vibe
decorated with some balck and white ‘60s jazz photos
dimly lit
with blue Christmas lights wrapped around the windows
it had about 6 tables with bar stools in front of the stage a bar that ran along one side of the room
and then some more tables in the back
it was cozy
we waited until 10 then i started
i opened with “so down”/”don’t mind me”/
and
“montreal”
the small crowd was very appreciative
and polite
dead silent during most songs
with absolutely no noise when i’d finish playing a song
Jan later informed me that the Blue Note was really a pub
so this made it doubley impressive
I played a 15 song 60 minute set
closing with “stranger in my own skin”
then 2 encores
which included “bus stop”
and “whole wide world”
they ran cool projected images behind me
while one spot shown on me
setting a very nice ambience
the sound was absolutely perfect
all in all it was really positive
although I got the impression
sort of like i did in Gera
that less English was spoken here
there was just something a bit off from truly connecting with everyone
after my show i spent some time talking with Jan and the soundguy
at the end of the bar
Jan told me about how he had bought Nourallah Brothers as an expensive import in 1999
and loved it
he thought it was an "indie classic"
he also loved my new cd Constellation
i was pleasantly surprised to hear all of this
around 12:30 i headed back to Hotel Russia

day 5 - wandering around Berlin

2009-05-09T02:16:00.000-07:00

we woke up at noon today
10 hours of sleep
that’s right
count ‘em
10
i can’t think of the last time i slept 10 hours
today we finally felt like we were truly on vacation
the luxurious Bowie Hotel
fresh laundry
some breakfast of jam in toast in our kitchen
then a walk to the underground station
Jayme wanted to go to an Audrey Hepburn exhibition
that had lots of her old personal belongings
for her this was very exciting
kinda like if I was going to a Lennon exhibit
we spent about an hour and a half there
she got to touch the famous black dress Audrey wore in “Breakfast at T’s”
i noticed the place was 90% women
she was very happy so that made me happy too

afer a quick lunch we took another train to the city center
so we could catch a bus tour
by this time the clouds had completely disappeared
it was sunny and 70
the perfect weather for our trip around the city
we sat on top of an open double-decker bus
Gavin loved it
my video camera even worked for about 15 minutes
our tour guide took a particular interest in our son
and they had some funny back and forth banter with each other
the tour took about 2 hours
i wished the whole time i could make it last a lot longer
it was so relaxing
moving slowly through the bustling city
looking down at all the cars and people scurrying about
the sun kissing our faces with a gentle breeze
while the tour guide’s German English accent set an almost musical tone
Berlin is a beautiful city
with amazing old and new architecture co-existing together
its history is fascinating
and troubling
but now it seems so peaceful
people lounging in parks
walking along the river
riding bikes and eating in outside cafes
it was hard to imagine that not all that long ago
it was the center of unimaginable violence and terror

the tour ended at 6 and it took us about an hour to figure out how to get back to the hotel
i gotta say tour manager Jayme was our fearless leader
she studied the underground map and did all the thinking while her boys did their impersonations of Spongebob’s mentally challenged friend Patrick
we had one funny moment when we thought we were taking an elevator down to the U1 train
when it went one floor down to where we had just been
no train at all
we felt like dumb tourists

our Hotel happened to be only a few blocks away from the infamous
checkpoint Charlie
we walked there around 8 and took some photos
then went into the Charlie museum
it was really interesting and also sad to see how many people suffered at the hands of the oppressive communist regime
all a good reminder of how lucky we are to live in a free society
on the way home we found a quaint Italian bistro
with checked tables Christmas lights and candles
we took a seat outside under some trees
the cool evening air felt great
and the food was incredible
our best meal of the tour so far – by far
if this place was in Dallas it would be some uppity McKinney avenue restaurant
our entire dinner plus desert was only 26 euros
we walked back to the Hotel in some light rain
our 9 hours wandering around Berlin finished
it had been a great day

day 4 - Berlin and LUX

2009-05-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

i shook the jetlag by sleeping 8 hours at Casa Buskies
we woke to the sounds of the cleaning lady
took our time getting ready and headed to the Tapete offices
which are about 20 minutes away
the whole gang took us to a mod Chinese restaurant
i had some tofu vegetable dish that was good
it was mainly nice to eat something green
and without cheese
after lunch Matthias bravely volunteered to help take us to
an electronics shop to try and fix the video camera
plus find some fuses for my blown out merch lights
when we finally got to the place there began a series
of serious head shaking
fast talking German while looking down at my American devices
more head shaking
and in the end
Matthias translating to us that we were basically fucked
this archaic American fuse is not used in German
this Sanyo camera is, well, not made by a good company like Sony
so there was nothing we can do
he was only the messenger
i could tell he felt bad telling us
we walked back to the office Jayme got some decaf and a chocolate croissant
for Mr. Bread
we even popped in an organic grocery store and got some things
for Gavin
we said goodbye to Basti Gunther and Matthias
and headed for Berlin around 2
the drive was beautiful
lush green fields and tall pine trees
the amazing yellow flower fields too
we effortlessly cruised into the Berlin city center around 5:30
the traffic being not nearly as bad as we’d expected
our GPS led us to the Adina Hotel which we’d booked for 2 nights
judging from the hip mod lobby we had made the right decision
the man at the desk cheerfully told us our room had been upgraded
for free
that sounded nice
when we opened the door to room 313 we were stunned
the room was spectacular
a spacious living room with a kitchen
tall windows looking out over a city view
the bathroom was state of the art with a washer and dryer in
the closet
this was seriously one of the nicest hotel rooms i’d ever been in
i felt like we’d entered David Bowie posh
we decided to go down stair and eat dinner in the hotel restaurant because the menu
looked good and actually reasonable
the setting was serene
large windows surrounding the dining room
flowers at each table
the whole thing decked out with a kind of west elm mod vibe
our food was great and it all cost about as much as that terrible lunch in Gera!
more good fortune insued when i hooked my video camera up in the hotel room
and it seemed to take the charge
i turned it on and filmed G for a few minutes
stunned but happy
i left for LUX at 8
it was supposed to be two turns and then a 2 mile straight shot to the venue
about half way there my straight shot ended
the road ahead was full of construction and it became a one way street
going against the way i needed to go
i turned left then right and came back to the street a little further down
thinking i would get around the construction
unfortunately there was another full block of it
so i crossed the pylons and drove on the right side
breaking German driving laws in at least 5 places
then went all the way down the block on the construction side of the road
dodging barriers and parked dumped trucks
when i got to a light
then i waited for the traffic to clear and jumped over to the “wrong” side of the road
shot across the intersection to clear sailing
when i’d gotten to the corner where LUX was Gotz, the promoter
met me outside and helped me with my gear
he sort of looked a bit like a young Bill Wisener with heavy horned rimmed glasses
he wore a beat up tan motorcycle jacket on and a cigarette perpetually dangling from his mouth
the club was sort of like a small aircraft hanger
high ceilings
tin roof and windows everywhere
on the PA i heard a great lounge version of the Clash’s “Guns of Brixton”
by a French singer called Camille with the band Nouvelle Vogue
i happened to be wearing my Straight to Hell t-shirt so i got a kick out of that
i need to track down that cd
a girl named Kat who was opening the show
said hello and we started talking
she offered to take me on a short sightseeing walk
we crossed a river which used to separate east and west Berlin
then we were there at the sight of the famous wall
i took my video camera out to film this for J and G
and i got a big nothing
the p.o.s. camera wouldn’t turn on

back at LUX there was nothing doing
i was beginning to get the sinking feeling that this gig was going to be poorly attended
a few of Kat’s friends trickled in but they were all on the list
and poor musician’s
when she went on around 10 there were about 8 people and they were all her friends
i played right after to the same 8 plus her
they were really nice
they sat and respectfully listened
even joined in with me on “Bus Stop” by the Hollies
which i’d closed with in Hamburg and decided to play again tonight
at the end i asked if they’d like to hear a happy or sad song
they shouted “HAPPY!!!”
so i played “she’d walk a mile”
after i finished a girl in the back called out with a thick German/English accent
“i zought you were going to play a happy song!”
i was a bit confused
I said, “what do you think that was?”
“it zounded sad to me…”
before i could respond a black guy with dreads was now on my left
asking for me to play Bob Marley
i told him “i don’t know any Marley” and handed him my guitar
then he broke into a version of “One Love”
while everyone else sort of milled about and smiled
Gotz sheepishly handed me 30euros
i didn’t sell any cds
from a financial prospective this gig was a complete disaster
and it made me wonder
how on earth did anyone expect me to draw people in a large city like this
with absolutely no promotion or help in spreading the word?
without Kat and her friends i would’ve played to the bar staff
it made me feel good that i hadn’t dragged Billy all the way here for that
i would’ve felt terrible
i was also really glad that my family was waiting back at Hotel David Bowie for me
it really didn’t matter that i’d just had such a disappointing gig

day 3 - Hamburg and the Astra Stubbe

2009-05-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

At 4am in the swanky Penta Hotel in Gera
I woke up
I guess I’m set to 4am now
I lay there contemplating time and space
And everything in between
Also the Jules Vern book 35,000 miles over the sea
Several times I thought of taking the laptop into
The ultra modern German bathroom
And working on my blog there
As to not disturb my peacefully slumbering family
Nope
I decided to tough it out
Count sheep
Count black Mercedes’ on the autobahn
Count just about anything I could think of
think peaceful thoughts
Nothing worked
suddenly I’d be trying to remember song lyrics
Or thinking about how much money I needed to make at
The next gig to cover the hotel room
Or some other random bullshit “adult” concern
I guess around 8am I finally dropped off
At 10:30 I was jolted from my drooling state by the shrill sound
Of the telephone
It was Daniel
Last night’s promoter
Calling to see if we wanted to meet up
I quickly got ready and we met him in the lobby 15 minutes later
He took us to a quaint restaurant called Downtown
Which was underground in a sort of winecellaresque situation
We ordered some drinks and talked
Then ordered some food
About half an hour later Daniel bid us goodbye
We waited for our food
And waited some more
Was this France or Germany I wondered?
Finally
About an hour an 15 minutes after we ordered
The food came
Or shall I say
Our two bowls of cheese
I just couldn’t bring myself to eat more than 4 or 5 bites of it
It was good but I felt like someone may as well inject a syringe of grease
straight into my heart
We split town 30 euros lighter
On the way back to Hamburg I swerved in front of an 18 wheeler
To take an exit which led to an amazing field of yellow flowers
We’d seen them everywhere but none accessible by road
Until this one
So we stopped the car
And went to have a look
I wanted to take some pictures in the middle of the field
But it looked kinda swampy
I went in anyway
With Gavin jumping up and down
“I wanna go too Mama, can I go, can I go too? Can I go?”
"No Gavin, you'll get too dirty...hold on!"
she quickly snapped a few photos from up on an embankment
And then I noticed I now had yellow flower schmutz and dirt
All over me – nice…
We got back to Hamburg around 6
My plan was to drop J and G off at Casa Buskies
Charge the video camera and cell phone
Then go to Tapete to pick up Gunther for the gig
The video camera was dead
The light would come on then die 3 seconds later
Since my camera broke on the last tour and I specifically bought a new one for this tour
To guaranfuckingtee this would not happen
I was a bit upset
I left in a a bad mood
cursing Sanyo and all of it's employees
and also vowing to go home and spread crappy rumours about their suckee corporation
It didn’t last long though
At the office I told Matthias all about Dolly and Kenny and the Gera show
Then we all headed off to Astra Stubbe
The Stubbe is a small but cool club
With really good sound and a nice owner
We had a quick sound check where I performed the Nourallah Brothers classic
“Public School” for the very first time ever
then we went through a huge boxes of slides to pick out the backdrop
for my performance
i went with a giant question mark
it seemed somehow appropriate and amusing
then Matthias, Gunther and I walked up the street to get dinner
we settled on a Greek/Italian place with loads of soccer fans staring unflinchingly
At TV sets
I had the Hamburger fish with potatoes (no beef in there, so don’t worry…)
Matthias had the pizza
Which looked amazing but considering the amounts of cheese I had already consumed
In the Rhineland
I just couldn’t go there
The Astra Stubbe show
Ended up being my favorite Hamburg gig to date
It was a very small but very enthusiastic crowd
Gunther manned the merch
Basti lead a group of handclappers in the back on “She’d Walk a Mile” and “Pictures Collected”
Lars helped out on “Montreal” with a 1-2-3-4 beat
The whole audience sang the backing vocals with me on “Don’t Be Afraid”
It was as good a show as I’d ever done
It was as much fun as I’ve ever had playing music
I wish there had been maybe 15 more people there but still
it was great
i got back to Casa Buskies with Gunther around 1am
and fell asleep almost the very second my head hit the pillow

day 2 - Dollywood Gera

2009-05-07T02:34:00.000-07:00

35,000 miles over the sea?
yep - jetlag is funny...

i'm on a strange euro keyboard
so everything in a different place
enjoy the results!

i slept only 4 hours on night one at casa buskies
we waited for G who slept like a champ
until 10
did some laundry - the bed linens
then waited for the washing machine for 2 hours
i am completely sure we got them clean as a whistle
around 11:30 we headed to the tapete offices
to have lunch with basti - mr. breezy hair
gunther
and matthias
we walked to a cozy little italian place
i had salmon
Jayme had the best tortellini ever
mr. bread had well - you guess...
after that back to the office for our tour itinerary
and merch
at 2 we left for Gera
a town of about 100,000 4 and a half hours away
my show was part of a musical festival they are having
with bands and singer songwriters coming from all around
i had to get back up to speed on the autobahn ways
going along caustiously at first
then doing 150kms in no time
still being passed almost as though we were standing still
when we all walked in to burgercafe
there was a small group already gathered who started
clapping and smiling widely
dolly parton was playing in the background
they immediately ushered me to set up on the stage
just a mic in the corner
i noticed a large filming rig in the back
the sound guy was really nice but spoke no english
in fact other than daniel
the promoter
i only spoke to 2 people the entire evening that seemed
to know our language
it set kind of an odd awkward tone for the entire evening
after my sound check
they told us they would prepare dinner
i asked if they could please make it vegetarian
this threw them for a bit of a loop
we were presented cheese and tomato sandwichs a few minutes later
as a table was swiftly placed in front of us by two men with large
and curly mustaches
we nibbled our sandwichs and a lady with greying high hair
snapped photos of us and smiled wildly
now kenny rogers was playing in the background
it was still pretty early
maybe 7
still light outside too
daniel asked if it would be ok for me to play soon
i said sure but we need to get to the hotel
he kindly offered to take J and G
so i was on my own now
Jayme kissed me on the cheek and smiled sheepishly
good luck tonight
i think they'd put waylon jennings on by this time
it was sweet and a bit sad
they were really nice to me though
and communication problems did not stop the acoustic party from
rolling forward!
i had a brief interview with a lady named anna
who was supposed to introduce me
i could tell she didn't really understand much of what i said
she just kinda glazed over
after a long german intro in which i could only pick out
texas
beatles
and john lennon
my show began
i carried on with business as usual
told stories
sang my songs
did what i normally do
they smiled and applauded
they asked for 4 encores
i kept trying to end the show
they kept asking for more
i was running out of songs
so i played missing funerals
and even model brothers
it was all really positive
but i think 90 percent of the room
had no idea what i was saying
so there was kind of an interesting
dynamic taking place
i felt a bit like the circus had come to town
at the end of my performance 2 and half hours later
i noticed i'd blown the lights on my merch suitcase out
by using the wrong euro converter
nice...oh well - what can you do?
i said goodbye to my new friends
and the cafe owner guided me to my German chariot
he was fiftyish
with a sort of italian flare
a fancy jacket and ascot
greying wavy hair swept to one side
he did everything quickly and with zest
he spoke to me as if i understood every word
smiling and gesturing with his hands
he ushered me to my car
said a few more things
then patted me on the butt
and said something else i didn't understand
i did understand that the butt pat meant i needed to get in the car
so i did that quickly
as he stood there by it's side
gazing off across the street and smiling
i sat there for a few minutes getting the GPS ready
he was still there
gazing and smiling
i slowly rolled forward and lowered the window
i said goodnight
he waved eagerly and bid me a fond farwell

2009-05-05T14:04:00.000-07:00

we sat in chairs
35,000 miles over the sea
With snacks
And movies
And Ipods
Unaware of the freezing wind and icy waters below
Stuck in a metal tube
Going hundreds of miles per hour
this feat
unrecognized
by all of us
we nodded off
slipped in and out
the tube sped forward
it was dark inside
then the lights came on
we headed downward
held hands
anticipated land
drank O.J.
chewed gum
the sound was loud
we grabbed our bags
navigated through unfamiliar corridors
Read signs
Go this way
Not that
Got on a bus
Rattled about
Got out
Followed more signs
Everything was new
And different
Heathrow and crowded
We caught another tube with wings
Passed out upon take off
In a blink we landed again
Our bags came easy
the Guild was unharmed
they gave us the keys to a black Mercedes
We loaded it full
the GPS told us where to go
we listened
and drove

This place is familiar now
Once strange
Now comforting
Lush green fields with bright yellow flowers
The sun peaking through early evening clouds
Cool air blowing in through the window
We felt safe and happy
“You have reached your destination”
the female with the English accent told us
our smiling friends open the front door
it feels nice to see them again
it's as if we'd just been here
the 2 boys resume playing
just like they’d only left off 2 days ago
not 18 months
we sit at their dinning table
in front of the big window that looks out to the lush
green backyard
I flashback to Gunther and the kids on the trampoline
I flashback to the pouring rain and the 1st time I saw the white stucco house
we have a glass of wine with some cheese and bread
the boys build their leggo cars
Dirk arrives
He’s leaving for London tomorrow so this will be the only chance
To se him
Jan Marten drubs Gavin in a game of tabletop soccer
Everytime he scores “Whosh!!!”
Then “Darnitt!!”
I tell Dirk and Gunther it’s 3 to 0 now
We’re winning the traveling soccer match
They have to come see us in Texas now to avoid a shutout
We say goodbye to Dirk
I feel sad to have only seen my friend for a couple of hours
Mr. Bread calls Mr. Breezy Hair on the phone
I flashback to their first detante
Basti and G over lunch and bread 4 years ago
The girls and boys retire one by one
I stay up talking with Gunther
I know this will be our only chance to hang out
At midnight we both know we’re too tired to continue
we say goodnight
Another nice moment over too fast
I go up the wooden stairs to the 3rd floor
Crawl into the warm bed where J and G are curled up
And sleeping peacefully
I’m out like a baby in less than a minute

At 4am I wake up
I lay in the dark thinking
And remembering
my little family laying next to me
on the soft wide mattress on the floor
I remember coming back here to them after the treacherous
All-night drive
2 years ago
Kissing them both on the cheek
So happy to be back at Casa Buskies with them
it was then as it is now
time seems frozen
We’ve been all over Europe
And home again
Did this and that
Running here
Running there
Making records
Made a baby
caught up in the endless scream of doing
day after day after day after day
but now
here again
in this bed
in this room
in Hamburg Germany
together
time feels frozen
I see all of your faces now
I picture where you are
Right now
Back home doing what you’re doing
I’m a world away from you all now
But you’re here with me
In my head
And in my heart
A feeling hits me
Like how it felt to be in my grandparent’s house
All those years ago
When I was a boy
I feel safe and loved
Like time has stopped
Like nothing in this world matters but this very moment
I am truly at peace

Then Jayme shoots straight up and says
“I think Gavin just wet the bed…”

May 3

2009-05-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

leaving tonight on jet aeroplane
i'm going to try to write all about it for you
maybe even upload some video too
it's the best gift i could ever ask for
to be able to go on this adventure
one more time
Casa Buskies in Hamburg tomorrow night
then on to Gera
Berlin
Magdeburg
Krefeld
Geissen
Karlsruhe and the cafe NUN!!!
Raststätte in Aachen - one of my favorite places to play
Chalus with Wreckless E and Amy R.
Périgueux
Paris
i've got the Guild
an old suitcase full of cds
polyestor pants
and a not so clean shave
it's my birthday too
thank you for sending love
and best wishes

i love you all too!!

s

D & C's house concert

2009-04-19T00:07:00.000-07:00

dean and carla's house concert was one of the most enjoyable
shows i've ever had
thank you to all who attended
and especially to D & C for all the hard work
you put into making this an amazing night for all involved
i'm very grateful to have friends like you

the hat of random songs spun some more surprises
opening with "love is all around"
one of C's faves but one i would never had selected as an opener
if i'd been in charge!
then the 10 gallon Stetson dealt some tried and true faves like
"1978" with the Monotones on "sha-la-la's"
and some rare ones like
"missing funerals"
everyone was with me every step of the way
a rare but beautiful occurrence
i was totally in the moment even on "be here now"
now there are only 2 more shows before i leave for europe
soon i'll be writing you from there
it seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago that i was just toasting Basti
with Mr. Bread
like the cliche
life is strange...
nevertheless i love it
and love you

love

s

curse of D - OVER!

2009-04-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

i played Dan's Silverleaf in Denton last night
with Paul Slavens
he joined me for the whole set
even though we'd only had time to run through 4 songs beforehand
Dan's has a badass vibe
dimly lit
art strewn about
a nice stage with black velvet curtains in the back
this place is as cool as any club anywhere in the world
it wouldn't matter if it were in South Dakota
i'd want to play here
Paul sat at his piano
i flanked him stage right
we opened with "Western Hills"
there was a nice crowd gathered
a lot of familiar, smiling faces
the sound was impeccable
"She'd Walk a Mile" was one of my favorites
with Slaven's deliberately paced, swinging piano
after "1978" he went into the verse all "DA-DA-DA-DA!!! DA-DA-DAAA!"
it kinda reminded me of the Boss for some reason
so i sang over it "let's go back to 1978, oh yeah
that's the year the Boss was still great, oh yeah
before born in the USA
when the Boss went totally gay..."
it was some good spontaneous fun
i guess you really had to be there

we closed our set with 3 of the ones we'd actually practice
"Endless Dream Days"
"Never Say Never"
and "Saint Georges"
i thought Georges was particularly nice
afterwards i got to talk to a lot of my Denton friends
i was even approached by an ex-UNT teacher of mine
whom i hadn't seen in about 15 years
it was really nice of him to come out and say hi

Paul's set was riotous
people wrote down absurd song titles
presented them at the front of the stage to him
scrawled on a napkin
Paul and his band would then instantly come up with the song
and perform it
i've never seen anything like it
totally original and brilliant
i hung out and listened to them play
until 1am
then i headed back to Dallas
i drove really slowly
i was paranoid that a ticket on the way home could ruin
my successful night
but i made it back A-ok
the curse of Denton - officially lifted!!!

the dolphins vs. guns of the navarone

2009-04-07T09:03:00.000-07:00

at 6:30am the hotel clock radio
started blasting tejano music
"bop, bitty, bop, bitty, bop, bop!!!"
it scared the hell outta me
and i never quite got back to sleep after that
when 8am rolled 'round
it was time to wake J and G up
we had a big day planned
to take Gavin to Seaworld
we had a nice breakfast in the Tropicano restuarant
still feeling very much like Miami
not San Antonio
at 9:30 we were on our way
Seaworld opened at 10
the weather was still great
65ish
sunny
clear blue sky
the first site we hit was the dolphin pool
i'd never seen a dolphin in person
it was like a sitting with the Dalai Lama
what an awe inspiring creature
full of peace and joy for life
anyone capable of hurting an animal like this is pure evil in my book
for the next 4 hours we enjoyed the day
and our son's enthusiasm for all of these things he'd only seen in books o on TV
we saw the shark tank (which was G's favorite)
Shamu and the whale show (were he was very concerned about avoiding getting splashed)
the penguins
alligators (which smelled bad)
got some cotton candy (which G devoured like a rabid bear)
road on the slow as hell teacup ride (because our son was having no part in getting on a scary ride like his mom wanted him to do)
we had a great time and being able to take G to Seaworld
already made the entire trip worthwhile

we left at 2pm for Houston
the last time i'd played the big H was March 21, 2001
when the Happiness Factor opened for the Old 97s
at Fitzgerald's
i barely remember that show it was so long ago
Vanessa had us booked at a place called Rudyard's
i was hopeful but with low expectations based on my past experiences
our hotel for the night
the Magnolia
was swanky
downtown highrise
a herd of valet guys greeted us eagerly out front
inside the lobby was Texas mod
very fancy but not too pretensious
when we got to our room it hit us
how absolutely wiped out we were
after only 5 hours of sleep
4 hours walking all over Seaworld
and then the 3 hour drive
i had that shaky bones aching feeling
how on earth was i gonna find the energy to stay up late and play a decent show?
i laid down on the comfy bed and woke up and hour later
feeling much better from my disco nap
Jayme had done the same while Gavin played LOUDLY
we cleaned up
and then went looking for a good place to eat
a couple of blocks up the street we went into
a nice Japanese restaurant called Azuma
the decor reminded me a bit of Teppo in Dallas
my favourite place to eat
we had some great rolls
especially the spicy spider roll
Gavin tried a California roll and then enthusiastically
proclaimed he loved it!!! (even though he really didn't)
we ordered a bowl of rice for him which he enthusiastically proclaimed
he loved!!!
but then he only nibbled a couple of teeny bites of it and made a schrunchy face
on the way out i happened to pick up an ENVY magazine from a stand next to the front door
the first page i flipped to had a picture and article on a particular Dallas songwriter/producer
with the opening line "why aren't i a banker?"
i felt a bit like David Bowie at the moment
quite possibly for the very first
(and last) time in my life

i got to Rudyard's around 8:30
just past sunset
it was a short and simple drive from the hotel
only about 5 minutes
i pulled into a parking space right in front of the club
and Dean was right there already to lend a hand with my gear
wow- this is the way i like it!
Rudyard's had a kind of pub vibe to it
like i'd pictured
the stage was upstairs
with a nice vibe and sound system
i thought it would be fun to play a couple of songs
with Manuel Schicchi tonight
he'd played on the recording of "Dreaming" but we'd never
had a chance to perform live
we ducked through a door next to the bar and found ourselves
a spot at the top of this long stairwell
where we could practice
then Alberto (aka: Guomo) joined us and started dancing about
and playing some air-drums
Dean videotaped this great spontaneous moment for you here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-8JUD9HjjY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa0IQgX8SG0

after our joyful (and triumphal) racket making
i christened my new Italian band the GUNS OF NAVARONE
tonight would be our first appearance together
history making in Houston!!
my set felt great
the sound was impeccable
the crowd easy to connect with
appreciative and quiet
at the ends the Guns of Navarone joined me for
"don't be afraid"
"montreal"
and "1978"
it was rollicking good fun
a great end to a really solid gig
i even got to see my friend Bernd
who made it out to the show at the last minute
what more could i ask for on my return to Houston?

nothing

the Mini sized Texas tour (part 1)

2009-04-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

we left dallas around 11am

and headed for San Antonio

i hadn't played SA since april 21st, 2006

when Chris Holt and i played the Red Room

to about 7 people

i used to play SA in the early nineties

when dufilho was in 13

the MF would show swap with his band

(give them a Dallas gig for a SA gig)

we'd always drive back the same night

we were young foolish and broke

there would be no roughing it this time!

it was our first road trip in the mocha Mini

i-pod cranked

sun roof open

no worries about breaking down on the road

it felt good to be leaving town for a few days

anyway i'd just about given up on SA

but now there's Buttercup

a reason for me to go there

to see my friends and play a show with them

to get anyone interested in SA to listen to Constellation

we got to the El Tropicano hotel around 4

i knew Jayme would like the tiki/mod vibe of the place

she did!

it felt a bit like Miami to me

lot's of white and brown tile

a couple of iguana's and parrots in a bamboo filled atrium

lots of elderly people hanging about

our room had a nice view of the cabana and pool

they were blasting salsa music

further re-enforcing the miami vibe

Gavin sat on a colorful plastic chair on the balcony

excited to be "on vacation!"

he sipped his wild cherry juice box and held his little stuffed piggie

he was in kid bliss

after Jayme and i got all of our stuff organized

we went downstairs for a complimentary pineapple juice

and then walked across the street

down some stairs

to the riverwalk

the weather couldn't have been any more perfect

70ish and clear

G loved it

as we made our way through the winding canal

he raced a boat taxi

got a long fallen branch and tried to "fish"

whooped and sang silly songs

we eventually found the popular touristy part of the walk

had some ice cream

people watched

took our time site seeing

around 5:45 we caught a river taxi

(to G's delight and insistence)

and went back to the el tropicano

Joe Reyes called the second we stepped back into our hotel room

he was heading over to take us out for some tex mex food

we went to the picante grill with him

where i ordered the cacerola

it was delicious but i nick-named it

"heart attack in a bowl"

i could only bring myself to eat half

the guilt was too much

we had a great time talking with joe

who has tons of funny and interesting stories from

all of his years as a musician

after dinner

we took the Mini back to the hotel

dropped J and G off

and grabbed my pedal board

guitar and merch case

joe drove me to FARM

only about a mile or two away from the hotel

FARM is a really cool little venue

situated in an old house that's been converted

into a recording studio/music venue

buttercup had set up their drums and amps

in the front room

the vibe was perfect for an acoustic show

some rope lights and candles

dark but not too dark

it felt nice

Vanessa Peters played around 9:30

with Manuel on baritone guitar

and Alberto (aka guomo) on drums

they sounded fantastic

like a stereo really

Joe sat in with me for my set

we opened with "western hills"

and ripped through a bunch of the new ones

his harmonies on "stranger in my own skin" were spot on

the highlight though was "she'd walk a mile"

in which the entire room of about 40

joined in with handclaps

foot-stomping and floor drumming

they kept it going for the duration

bringing the volume up and down as joe and i led the way

of all the times i've played this song

(all over the world)

this was my favorite performance of it

an incredible moment for me

guomo then joined us for "1978" and few others

it was relaxed and fun

the crowd was really appreciative and listened intently

a beautiful gig

Buttercup took the stage last

it was awesome to see them in their element

in front of adoring fans and friends

i think this was my favorite show of theirs that i've witnessed so far

it was so much fun

"1968"

"it's in the way"

and "i am a tiger" ruled

they sounded tighter than hell

and with all 4 of them singing

spectacular

Erik was in particularly fine voice and form

with hilarious and theatrical between-song banter

i felt like it couldn't have been a better return to San Antonio for me

an incredible night of music in a cool music venue

with a bunch of friends whom i love

who could ask for more?

Joe dropped me off at the el tropicano around 1:30am

and i passed out

happily exhausted

the Listening Room

2009-04-02T06:37:00.000-07:00

when i showed up around 5pm last night
to the listening room
it looked like the wreck of the Hesperus
a couple of guys on tall ladders trying to hang the PA speakers
workers everywhere
painting
hammering
carrying things
drills going off intermittently
construction debris everywhere
absolute chaos!!!
we have a show in ummm...let's see...
3 hours!!!!??!!!!

so we started our frantic push to get the room looking half decent by 8!
vanessa ran to target for cleaning supplies and standing fans
manuel and i started cleaning up
ben was hanging lights
mark, the soundman, methodically set up the PA
the crew kept painting and hammering
by 8 we actually had the place looking all cleaned up
we were still tweaking the lighting even up to the last minute
rip on a ladder by the stage
the cleaning guy racing to find a colored bulb for the light over the bar
it was hectic but we made it
the people gathering in club dada were let into the listening room just past 8pm
winslow and hank went on at 8:09
not bad considering the state this place was in just a few hours earlier
the room looked beautiful
open
spacious
relaxing
ben and i nearly passed out from relief!
i gotta say he did an amazing job decorating this room (which had been a pit for years!)
tiger bamboo floors
a granite bar top
nice relaxing dark green paint
and cool art scattered throughout
he kept the cool-as-all-get-out brick walls intact too
you don't see walls like this anywhere!!
the sound was already really good from the start
mark is a badass
much better than i'd expected for the opening night
stu dicious and vanessa peters played half hour sets
to a packed and appreciative house
then chris holt and i were on
we were under a bit of a time crunch because chris had to get to barley
for his show there by 11

no matter how cool a room is i always wonder how it will
feel from the stage (sometimes not as good as you expect)
the second chris and i broke into our opening song
"western hills"
at 10:05
i knew this place was going to host many, many incredible nights of music
it felt great on stage
the perfect view of the entire room
relaxed
and easy to see and feel connected to every single person in the room
the sound was perfect too
we ended up having one of our best duo sets ever
with a round of requests that pushed us to play "endless dream days"
without the piano part it's based around
chris add-libbed the oh,oh, oh keyboard line with volume swells on his gibson 335
while the entire room went dead silent
they were all with us for every single note
it was a great moment
on "saint georges" everyone sang the chorus with us
on "1978" clapping and sha-la-la's
we closed with a rousing version of "pictures collected"
which we'd never done before as a duo
the whole crowd clapped
sang
and smiled
it was the perfect ending to a perfect night

Constellation cd release show

2009-03-29T07:26:00.001-07:00

last night these people made the Constellation cd release show
my favorite one yet
(hands down)
thank you!!

the Monco Poncho brought their own brand of spaghetti western
surf-a-billy at 9
with a ton of rabid fans shooting off pop guns
Nick and Joe have been coming to my shows for over 10 years
now
it was awesome to see my friends up there playing
in a great band - our first show together and hopefully the first of many more to come!

Vanessa Peters and her band sounded amazing
the best soundguy in texas (and possibly America - Kevin Brown)
had it cooking out front
like a loud stereo - exactly the way i love the Sons to sound
the Guomo kept the sweater vest on the whole set
while he grooved the drums (i love watching this guy play!)
Manuel Schicchi was excellent as always (on lead guitar)
they're a great bunch of players and beautiful people to boot
i was so proud of VP and I.C.O.S. as they played a super solid set of the best
songs off of the 2 records Rip and i have produced
it was magnificent!

Buttercup had come all the way from San Antonio for this
they played many of my faves
"Always Alcohol" "I Am A Tiger" (with hilarious intro by Erik)
"and now we'll perform the best song in a motion picture by Phil Collins!!!"
"Consensus Chalice" was also superb
rollicking and gentle
serious and hysterical
Erik and the B-boys put on another astounding set
to have talented and wonderful friends like this to come celebrate this release with me
well - i was truly blown away

the Constellations worked so hard to get ready for this night
and they all sounded picture perfect
performing all of these songs that were created (not necessarily to play live)
has been no small feat
but they pulled it off seamlessly
Richard's evocative piano on "Endless Dream Days"
Chris and Eric's superb vocals on "Saint Georges" "Love is all Around"
and "Pictures Collected"
TJ's disco drums re-working of "Pictures"
we played 10 in a row off of a new record few have heard
yet the audience stayed with us
we finished the Constellation set off with "Saint Georges" (for Grace, of course!)
then went into some of the "oldies"
"1978"
"montreal"
"the world is full of people"
"so down"
up front there was a full on party taking place
people jumping up and down
dancing
smiling
pumping fists up in the air arena rock style on "erased"
that inspired me to re-visit my El Paso/Journey epilogue
we finished it all off with "don't be afraid"
and more singing from the crowd than i'd ever heard on that one
then Stu Dcious and Arian (in a white jump suit) started yelling
"she'd walk a mile!!!!!!!!!!"
so we played it
then played "i'll be around" for bop-a-lena
i didn't want it to come to a close
i was having so much fun

i wanted to send a special thank you to these people:
jayson, kyle, amber and rest of the cut-off gang
michael and mary pottter
dean and carla
john d.
owen obel
cody lyson
rip and gavyn
camille
megan c. and caroline s.
MUELLAH!!!!
jeremy moore
john lefler
mark landson
miriam and kenny
paula
jacques and ginger
debbie b.
mike snider (for helping make this wonderful night happen!)
and jayme (not only for sitting at the merch table for 7 hours last night but for always being there for me with love and kindness)

i love you all!!!

salim

the sun funeral

2009-03-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

antigua heat
stifling me
stranded and wounded and thirsty

dropped by the gun
while vultures and sun
patiently hang 'till i'm done

.....one last vision of her beauty comes.....

her brown Spanish skin
her black Spanish eyes
that knew every time that i lied

the soft, cotton sheets
mimosa breeze
her candlelit house of adobe

.....the white dress that she wore just for me.....

when hummingbirds whispered so happily
we were young and alive and carefree
the sun and the moon bowed down at our feet
'till we found it was all mercury
just mercury

some things we hold
and then we let go
to flicker and fade in the distance

as days pass us by
years at a time
amnesia denies their existence

.....'till that moment when everything ends.....

when hummingbirds whispered so happily
we were young and alive and carefree
the sun and the moon bowed down at our feet
'till we found it was all mercury

this is not poetry

2009-03-17T07:03:00.001-07:00

it's a beautiful sunny warm tuesday morning
9am
sun streaming in over my right shoulder
J and G are sleeping peacefully
the refrigerator gently humming
i'm eating my cereal
cinnamon harvest with some blackberries on top
it's really good
i'm gonna go for a run when i'm done
i feel great
healthy and happy
content as can be in this soft little existence of ours
sorry i've been away for so long
too much going on
and not enough time to write!

i'm gonna be a daddy again
i feel good about it
not afraid
like i was at first
we're going to have a girl
we're talking names already
charlotte?
lucy?
______ your suggestion?
things have already been a little difficult
but we'll make it through
and it'll be worth it
jayme is feeling better but still not 100%
i worry about her
she doesn't know when to stop working sometimes
she's tough and feisty just like my grandmother edna severs was

i've been practicing more than ever with the constellations
trying to get ready for the cd release on the 28th
i've ordered my first pedal board from kangaroo
got this amazing empress tremelo eric suggested
plus an avalon U5 to make my acoustic guitar sound FAT
last night chris eric and i had a vocal practice
our 1st in 4 years
it was fun
we're gonna try it all out tomorrow night at barley
for a show/live rehearsal
we're also bringing back a few surprise "oldies"
you'll have ot wait for the show for that!

ok - the sound of G coming my way
has now prematurely ended this return blog!
i promise to be back sooner than later

love,

s

on the up and up

2009-02-20T08:02:00.000-08:00

i'm feeling really good today
jayme is finally beginning to feel better
which is a huge relief
she's been in bed for basically a month
it's been pretty horrible
i hope today is another good one for her

lena is working on the constellation cd layout today
it looks great
i've been waiting for her to be available for a few months now
it was worth the wait!!
it's still gonna be super tight getting the cd here in time
for the March 28th sons of hermann show
i'm not gonna sweat it if it doesn't happen though
i'll just make a date in April to celebrate
the euro tour dates are beginning to trickle in
plus great advance reviews
i know a lot of you have been patiently waiting since October for this record to come out
hang in there!
it's almost ready...

rhett's record is almost done
it's amazing
we just need to nail down the final sequence now
buttercup is lars tape bounced
and their record is phenomenal
it's hard not to feel so high after starting the year with these 2
spectacular records

we picked up the new MINI wednesday
and have been in driving nirvana
i'd actually never been excited about going somewhere
like i now am
i feel like james bond with the hands free
dialing and our IPOD on the car computer
now jayme and i have to draw straws to see who gets to go pick
gavin up from school

jayme's birthday is Monday
hopefully she'll be back to 100% by then
she's had such a rough month
lord knows she's earned it

i've almost finished the strummer bio
redemption song
it's excellent
and i highly recommend it to any clash fans out there
i did lose the vintage know your rights shirt on ebay
but you can't always get everything you want
now can you?

my love

2009-02-14T07:00:00.001-08:00

before i met jayme i was well
and truly lost
i really was
i'll never forget the night
august 19, 2000
when i sat in my dark bachelor pad
and wrote "it's my dream"

"i'll see you there, you'll see me there...no games
or lies, no fake disguise"

i was at the end of my rope
i couldn't take the disappointments of life anymore
this song was a desperate plea sent out by me
for someone/something out there to please send me my dream girl
soon!!
the one i'd been hoping to find
my entire life

2 weeks later
there she was - jayme!

i never believed i could fall in love with someone else right away
i was a total skeptic
within 24 hours of knowing jayme
i was madly in love with her
and faithfully devoted

"when will i see you again?
anytime, anywhere…i’ll lose the burden of life in your wondrous air."

(written 2 days after we met, on sept. 11, 2000)

falling in love with jayme was a high unlike any i'd ever felt before
and the nice part was
she seemed to feel the same way about me
we were giddy about it
like two school kids with a secret no one else
was in on
we spent every free moment with each other
i'd finally found in her
the peace and happiness i'd sought my entire life
someone to build a life with
the promise of a beautiful things ahead that we would accomplish
and share together

jayme is brilliant
witty
mega-talented
beautiful
stylish
and completely honest
with an empathy and kindness to others
i've rarely seen
she gives and gives and gives
works hard at everything
and keeps on giving
she keeps gavin and i from vanishing in a puff of confused chaos
she's the glue holds our little family together
she's the lightness
and space
she's filled my world with love
and happiness that has gone way beyond my wildest dreams

i love her more than any words can convey

blind

2009-02-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

white ford econoline van
speeding through the new mexico desert
dusk
a long time ago
straight into the sunset
the house of love's "blind"
cranked
full blast
dirty drops of rain splash the windshield
quick bursts of light flickering through the windows
a three dimensional rainbow
springs up ahead
i'm driving
hair tied back
round sunglasses
faris is in the co-pilot seat
brad and tommy in the back
brad leans forward
and says "what do you think he means in this song?"
a look like Manson
his black beard is thick
he states
"i think it's about believing in GOD"
i disagree
"i think it's about questioning..."
i quote the line
"i'm not the son you sent away...i'm just blind"
he's not buying it
"it's about trying to be a good person
but not knowing the right path to take brad"
he's still not buying it
"this is not a song promoting religion!" i proclaim
we argue a bit more
brad says i just want to believe want i want to believe
whether or not the song really means that or not
i say "maybe we all do that with songs?"
and how can we have any idea what any writer really intends
unless they're sitting right there with us telling us so
it's just a song
open to interpretation
and debate
the beauty of writing
and art
right?
there are no absolute truths
he sulked back into his seat
arms folded
"whatever you say salim - you know it all"

i hadn't thought of this in a long time
while i was running today
it all came back to me
vividly
like a crystal clear dream
someone had shot up into my psyche
this moment was important
i'd missed it at the time
why did it come roaring back now?
is it because i'm reading about strummer and the clash breaking up?
we were 4 people on a journey together
it was the only real band i ever had
it signified the split that had occurred
that would soon lead to the end
i would never be in a "real" band again

2009-02-08T08:52:00.000-08:00

congratulations
we've made it to february 8, 2009!!!!!!
we've been waiting our whole lives
for this day
and now it's finally here
everything we previously experienced
has led up to this moment
what a relief
that we've gotten this far
so now what?
we're here
we've arrived
what do we do?

i'm gripped by indecision
and sluggishness
i just sit here
staring out the window
at the fat squirrel in the backyard
i feel like him
i stare off into space
my son crawls back in bed with his sick mother
i wonder what i should do with this time
an entire afternoon
that will vanish in a blink
i look up at the clock
11
i've got 6 hours
until...
i'm always counting down the hours
until i have to be somewhere
do something
be responsible
be productive
be
be
be...
ok
well
this is the day i've been working up to my entire life
right?
so i've gotta snap out of it
and get it together man
go for a run
make some lunch
enjoy my son
help my wife
be happy
not watch the clock
be here now

that's all i've got

february 3rd

2009-02-03T07:36:00.000-08:00

the road stretches out before us
who knows where it leads
drunk on dreams
haunted by mistakes
i ask you where you've been
you say "i was wandering the lonely places"
why did it take so long?
"i've been here all along really..."
the sun is in our eyes
the wind is in your hair
i squint to try and see you
but only tumbleweeds roll past
now the dust is spinning furiously
i can barely move forward
which way do i go?
i can't see anything
blinded
stifled
distraught
tumbling backwards
hurdling through space
my arms and legs go limp
i surrender
i give in
i give up
and fall

fall

fall

fall

for days

for months

for years

i wake up here
in the white room
in complete silent
you are sleeping next to me
but decisions are to be made
the road opens up through the ceiling
the blue sky and endless stretch of highway
jutting skyward

which way do we go?
i need you to tell me
what should we do?
i want you to tell me
will it be ok?

i wait for your answer

the house concert

2009-01-18T07:16:00.001-08:00

i played my first house concert last night
at michael and mary's
gavin and i got there around 6
and set up the P.A. in the living room
a big comfy room with really high ceilings
that sort of wraps around into an open kitchen
it was the perfect setting to play in
they'd set up candles and had the lights
on a dimmer
so the ambiance was really nice
about 15 minutes before "doors" we sat
down and had some great pasta
and G had granola cereal which he proclaimed was
"great!!"
the guests started arriving around 7
and by the time i was ready to start it looked like
we had a full house
i stood in front of the fireplace
and everyone gathered round on chairs
and sofas
i'd put a bunch of song titles (28 to be exact)
on slips of paper in a hat to be passed around
and drawn
instead of making a traditional set list
i thought it would be fun to try something random
that i'd never done before
i sometimes find myself going to certain "safe"
songs over and over again
so it felt liberating to give in to the randomness
of michael's magic hat
the first song drawn was "she'd walk a mile"
with instructions for "percussion from the audience"
so we distributed the tub of percussion
i'd brought with me
shakers
tambourines
sleighbells
a kazoo (which gavin found - of course)
almost everyone in the room had something
and then we all played "she'd walk a mile"
the whole experience ended up being one of the best i've ever
had playing music
2 and a half hours flew by
it seemed like 10 minutes
i ended up doing 2 sets and about 20 songs all
together
when "snowing in my heart" was drawn we all went to the front room
and i hacked my way through a piano version of it
this was in fact my piano performing debut
as i'd never touched the instrument in front of a room full of
people before
(next time i will practice!!)
it was interesting to see what the magic hat delivered
the pacing of both sets ended up being really nice
and more importantly
something i would have never done if i'd been in charge of the song order
there was even one intriguing trifecta of
"erased"
"it's lonely when you're all alone"
and
"it's ok to be sad"
which are 3 songs very much related to each other
and all about the same subject
the last song drawn was "stranger in my own skin"
which was a fitting song to end the night on
it reminded me that i no longer feel the way i used to about
performing
in front of a silent group of people
all watching and listening to everything i do intently
i feel safe, loved and happy
not uncomfortable or judged
yes, it's taken me many years to get to this place
but i really appreciate it now
that i've arrived here

thank you michael and mary (and the rest of the gang!)
for a very special night
i will always fondly remember

love

s

the sorcerer and his magic axe

2009-01-15T07:19:00.000-08:00

i thought it would fun to run billy through
the songs in the same order we had tackled them
the previous week
"refusing temptation" was up first
he worked on it for about 3 hours
i think it turned out beautifully
particularly the acoustic guitar part he ran through his amplifier
with a delay effect on
after that rhett took us for some indian food
it was nice to get out of the studio
even though i love the studio
"like love" was on the agenda when we got back
and i've got to admit
it's kind of a bear
meaning - it's difficult!!!!!
billy worked on it for almost as long as it took us
to nail down the drums and bass
about 6 hours
we tried some tack piano on the chorus
slide guitar
fuzz guitar
clanky guitar
heavy guitar
piano piano
then rip came in around 7 and i could tell he wasn't buying it
so we worked some more on it with his helpful guidance
it's good to have a team of people you trust
it's not all fun and games making these records
sometimes it's like trying to crack a code on a safe
and the damn thing just won't budge
around 8 we took a rest from "love" and worked on "lashes"
billy immediately opened up a beautiful world for this song to live in
with his gorgeous and haunting soundscapes
we ran my bass through the fender deluxe
put some delay on it and billy put down some bass
you know he's not bad at that either...(see "be here now")
at 9:30 back to "like love"
rip and billy tightened up the verse guitar part
everyone seemed satisfied that we'd gotten it right
so we said goodnight to the sorcerer and his magic axe
(pancho too!)
then rhett and i went off to barley house to see the OHs

good times at pleasantry lane

2009-01-14T07:28:00.000-08:00

on monday
there were more drum tracks to do
we tackled "if it's not love"
dufilho played this crazy "i fought the law"
meets buddy holly tom beat
which re-defined the song
then we sent him home for the day
and rhett cut acoustic guitars
that night jayme and i watched
"the dark knight"
on tuesday we did two more
"happy birthday (don't die)"
which rocked
then "caroline"
jason garner from deathray davies/i love math
showed up with john
i asked him to play bass on "caroline"
i'm glad i did because he came up with a great
part
it sounded kinda like bruce thomas from the attractions
who is one of my all-time favorite bass players
around 5 i dropped G off to play with max
then came back to the studio
john jason and rip were working on drums for a drd song
which they're gonna mix thursday in kentucky
billy showed up and dropped off his gear around 5:15
then right after he left and they finished their song
we started in on putting drums and bass
to my song "don't mind me"
tapete wants to use it as the first single but felt like
it would be better suited for radio with some
kick snare bass
jason played bass on this too
they sounded great right outta the gate
after the first take winslow showed up
with jason janik her publicist and carmen b.
they were going to shoot some photos for her feature
in Quick
we continued to work on don't mind me while a photoshoot
took place behind us with winslow in a bouffant pink dress on the brown '70s
couch
it was pretty over the top
the click and flash of the camera while john and jason
raced through 3 or 4 takes of "don't mind me"
with me calling out the chord changes to jason
after take 4 we all decided it was awesome
and then let the photoshoot take over the rest of the studio
i went to go pick up G
raced home
ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner
sat with jayme for a bit (she wasn't feeling good)
and then went back out to the studio
for 3 more hours with rhett
we had him sing and play the 2 acoustic numbers
"bonfire" and "sometimes"

at midnight i collapsed in a heap
and went to sleep!!!

happy birthday (don't die)

2009-01-09T21:07:00.000-08:00

i spent the week working on rhett's record
with dufilho and rip
we put in some long hours
laying the foundation
it's been a lot of fun
things are going really well so far
the time is flying by
like it does when you're on a roll
we have 7 tracks started right now
in order of appearance:
"refusing temptation"
"like love"
"nobody says i love you (anymore)"
"lashes"
"another girlfriend"
"i need to know where i stand"
"haphazardly"
highlights include:
dufilho's machine gun snare on "like love"
tracking "girlfriend" live billy harvey style
playing roberto some of the songs for the 1st time
sitting on the couch singing "haphazardly"
laughing about ice cream cakes and the butt bruise story
watching gavin play the tack piano
my goal is to help rhett make a great, classic record
he certainly has the songs
with a seemingly endless supply of brilliant material
which runs the gamut of emotions
thought provoking
thoughtful
funny
gentle
raucous
always intelligent
always melodic
i've spent most of my life
wanting to be involved in records like this one
literate rock'n'roll with a heart
the excitement is like a surge of electricity rushing through
my body
we're going to spend the next 5 weeks
working on the music until we get it as good
as we think it can be
i'm already restless at night
going over and over all the ideas i have
for each song
this weekend we'll take a little break
i'm gonna play some songs with chris holt
up at opening bell mosaic tomorrow night
and try and spend as much time with j and G
as possible
we're gonna hang our new house numbers
go grocery shopping
watch some spongebob and be as domestic as possible

on monday morning we'll get back to it
billy harvey is coming to town
"happy birthday (don't die)"
"bonfire"
"sometimes"
and who knows what else
or what we'll achieve

farewell to '08!!!!!

2008-12-31T01:54:00.000-08:00

i've got no complaints with '08
at least my family didn't lose anyone close to us
and we seemed to make it through an even keeled year
full of good times
it might've even been one of our best years yet
i got to do what i love to do
spend lots of time with J and G
record record el recordo
with lots of talented musicians
many of whom i'm honored to call my friends
i even got to fulfill a lifelong dream of mine
to go make a record outside of my own studio
with a person i greatly admire
i'm rolling into '09 feeling better than ever
pleasantry lane is pumping full throttle
we're starting rhett miller's next solo record on monday
and finishing up a bunch of really good cds
so if i look back over this past year
what comes to mind?

wrapping up old 97s blame it on gravity in january
jayme's great cover painting
stopping the presses to change the album title
(at the last minute)
the fate lions and how quickly time flies when i'm working on good music
eastwood with gunshots and good times
becky middleton and getting to know all the awesome
musicians in her circle (aaron haynes, scott lee and the rest of the gang)
the spring standards and their youthful enthusiasm
owen obel and his kindness
rahim quazi's brilliant "supernatural"
rachel bazooka and their psychedelic friendship
the dirty birds and their great singing and songs
the fabulous new studio desk that rip and brent spent 5 months building
philip creamer and his amazing voice (plus songs that make me think of my favorite bands all rolled up into one!!)
winslow bright and her determination and spirit
johnny citizen with a free pass to let my musical imagination roam
dave little who is truly "badass" and always makes me feel better when he's around
buttercup and their unbelievable talent
vanessa peters and manuel schicchi with transcontinental recording and friendship
the whiskey folk ramblers one-of-a-kind stew of cajun lounge punckabilly gumbo
chatterton and replacementsesque rock'n'roll with great guitar playing
i got to work on so many great projects this year
(if i missed anyone - i'm sorry - i'm racing to write this before sleep time!)
there were so many great shows too
filled with beautiful moments
the anju gill megabill in november where the cut-off (in particular) shined brightly
the pleasantry lane christmas party (fraulein elf jayme, pancho and the PL gang)
re-claiming barley house with joe reyes and buttercup on a sunday night in december
the sons of hermann dvd shoot in august (where's the dvd b.g.?!!)
billy's house concert and the harvey live anthology (grow garden grow is genius)
bob s. at gruene hall and the jumping crowd
the return of club dada and ben tapia
threadgill's austin with vanessa and manuel
the granada with ian moore
the city tavern marathon in october
AND
G started school and loved it
AND
obama whipped the gruesome twosome
AND...
well this aging rocker is tired now
so with that
i bid each and every one of you a happy new year
with as much love and good fortune as you can stand

love,

s

41 christmas's past

2008-12-27T02:07:00.000-08:00

christmastime has come and gone
we made the most of it
we sang songs
and opened presents
we soaked in the pretty lights
and spent time with our families
today it was over
i felt sad
my son is 5
he's changing into a new person every day
i want to slow it all down to a crawl
but it speeds past
faster than i want to accept
i don't want G to grow up yet
i don't want to get any older
i don't want my life to change
i feel the white knuckle grip tighten
i don't want to die
or ever say goodbye to my loved ones
but it's all gonna happen isn't it?
why does saying goodbye to this holiday make me
think of the how quickly time is passing
and how temporary all of this is?
material things make us feel safe
they offer comfort somehow
like in possessing them we are linked to the world
in a more permanent way
but we're not
we're all barely here
tomorrow is promised to none of us
we were all just here last year
putting up our christmas trees
drinking hot chocolate
watching our favorite christmas movies
it's 41 christmas's past for me now
and what do i remember?
zippity-doo-da from my youth
that's right
virtually nothing
i've got but one memory
staying up 'til sunrise hoping i would get this particular NASCAR racing set
that i didn't end up getting
so that's it
all i remember is crushing disappointment
is that how my mind works?
or is that how our minds work?
what a cruel joke it is
that our memories are almost good for nothing
we can only hold onto the lowest of lows
or the highest of highs
almost everything else in between is lost
i want to bask in the memory of yesterday
while i still have it
our happy little family
our beautiful smiling 5 year old son
it won't be long now
before these memories retreat
and vanish
along with the rest of them
good and bad
from 41 christmas's past

almost christmas

2008-12-23T07:37:00.001-08:00

2 days until christmas
the weather outside is actually
frightful
but the mood in here
well
positively delightful
gavin has filled our lives with pure christmas joy
i can hardly wait to see his little face light up
on christmas morning
when he races to the tree
it negates the other family drama and b.s.
100%
and i'm thankful for that
5 is a great age for christmas!!
yesterday he went to grandma's and baked cookies
while i spent one more long day in the studio
trying to pay for christmas
after this afternoon i'll have a couple of days off
i think i may just sit catatonic on the couch
drooling like a retarded elf

jayme and i started watching "house of saddam" on
HBO last night
it's really well done
and we're already glued to it
it made me think (again) of what ambition does
to people (not the inspiration for the ambition post but certainly
applicable)
twisting them into a paranoid ball of destruction
how messed up is it to go from being the big cheese
to dangling at the end of a rope?
i suppose life can turn on you in a split second
no matter how "powerful" or untouchable anyone thinks they are
so it's christmas
and this horrible war is still going on
all the soldiers over there
away from their families
some not knowing if they'll ever be back
i can't even imagine this feeling
it just sounds like pure horror to me
i don't expect the war to end just because obama is in
but at least there might be a shred of hope now
i'm gonna do a song and dance routine for sure when GW gets the boot
i can hardly wait
can you?
it's gonna be like christmas 'round here
all over again!

this is our year

2008-12-21T16:38:00.000-08:00

i've been reading the clash book
lisa gave me for christmas
a big pink number with all kinds of cool
photos and memorabilia
i've raced through it
already at sandinista and it's only been a couple of days
i would've killed for this when i was a kid
it's a pretty exhaustive document
of their story
they did so much in such a short time
kinda hard to imagine really it was all over before
any of them had reached 30 (no wonder joe got depressed afterwards)
and i can't help but asked myself what did i do before 30?
waste a lot of time being unhappy i suppose
i guess putting in those lean years
was paramount to my story
it couldn't have been any other way
it just wasn't my time yet
so i had to wait
and wait
...and wait...
that's one thing i've learned
if you're patient enough
with this life
sooner or later
your time will come
maybe blind optimism?
especially when applied to people living in countries
with hopeless situations
but i'm gonna stick with my theory anyway
your golden days may not hang around for long
but they will come
eventually
and you'd better be ready to seize the moment
when they do
suck 'em up for all they're worth
enjoy every last drop
everything ends
all things must pass
they will surely come and go
like everything else in this life does

this is the time in my life
where i'm shining brightest
it's easy for me to realize it right now
even though i'm in the thick of it
things still feel like they're on the incline
but i know artistically
i probably only have a few good years left
my best work is about to be released
even though i helped make it and am close to it
i know this is true
sometimes when you get to listen to the music
with close friends
and no distractions
from start to finish
you get to absorb things through their reactions to it
that you wouldn't otherwise be able to
it's an almost outta body experience
you feel like an objective observer
not the maker
the other night
when i got to play constellation for L and L
this happened to me
and i realized that billy and i have done something really special
i'm not trying to toot my own horn here
i've been quick to criticize everything i've ever done
(especially the MF and HF!)
that's what's always spurned me on to the next record
how was i gonna top the last fiasco?
all the flaws i find in my own work screaming at me to make the next one
BETTER
now don't get me wrong
i don't think this record is flawless
by any means
but it is truly an amalgamation of everything good
i've uncovered in 25 years of writing and playing music
i'm soaking it all in now
i'm ready to release the best one yet
i'm ready to help rhett make his
and buttercup theirs
and whatever other PL recording artists queing up
for '09
it's gonna be another great year of making music with my friends
i'm looking forward to it already

ambition

2008-12-19T21:26:00.000-08:00

you wanna be noticed
dolled up in your ambition
that’s your special motive
swallowed by your ambition baby
hollowed by your ambition
rotting you inside
ambition
eating you alive

once you were nice

you want lots of money
dressed up in your ambition
to be a somebody
messed up with your ambition baby
stressed out as your ambition
takes you for a ride
ambition
makes you twice your size
only in your own mind

who said adversity tests one's character?
power does…
that’s the truth

what will you do when you get all the things
that you want?

ask for more?

now you’re just a has-been
wrapped up in your ambition
slapped into the trash bin
washed up in your ambition baby
coughed up by your ambition
so how’d you like the ride?
ambition
cut you down to size

it fucked up your life

here NOW

2008-12-18T22:00:00.001-08:00

we had the pleasantry lane christmas party last night
a cozy gathering of about 100
of our friends
and fellow musicians
at club dada
i couldn't think of a place i would have rather been
the whole night couldn't have been any better for me
if it had been scripted
rip picked up some pizzas from scalini's
mark played the christmas mix cd we'd made
rahim becky and philip all played great sets
rahim's christmas song was awesome
becky and philip sounded like angels together
i've had the chance to work on so many cool records this year
and next year promises more of the same
around 11;30 we were greeted by a warm
and appreciative audience
the new songs felt great
especially "western hills"
and "saint georges"
which we got to play for Grace
who'd just flown in from Massachusetts
it was so good to see her again after these past few months
her presence made everything all the more special
as the last chord of georges rang out
ben t. shouted for us to play "avenue"
as an encore
which we then proceeded to do
and after that
when E went to the bar
i just started playing "the wrong road"
more as an instinct
than an actual thought
i'd never played it with the band before
but rich immediately fell in with the right piano chords
and it all felt really good
tj and eric carried it on home
and then we finished the night with "i'll be around"
for bop a lena
the whole experience left me high as a kite
energized by the music
and my friends
what a great feeling...

at 9:45am G came strolling up the sidewalk
with my mom
it was so good to see his smiling little face
just one night away and i missed him so much
i can't even begin to imagine being away longer than that
anyway
once we all got going we went to buzzbrew's with L and L
for breakfast
then headed to the galleria for G's 1st ice skating experience
we had so much fun slip sliding around the rink with him
as his legs went every which way and he cackled hysterically
it was so much fun
after that we took him to northpark to see the trains
i noticed a big change in his reaction this year
as opposed to last
he was absolutely mesmerized today
running around following certain trains as far as he could
and then staring slack jawed and glassy eyed at them
in kid wonder
around 5 we went home
jayme made a special fancy dinner that she'd planned out
it was delicious
afterwards we sat around the tree and opened presents
then ate some keylime pie jayme had made
our christmas light ride through highland park was next
it was so peaceful and fun
i felt wholly immersed in christmas spirit
we got home around 10 and said goodnight to little G
then L and L and i snuck out to the studio
poured some wine
turned down the lights
and put on the finished version
of constellation
for the 1st time for them to hear
it was nice to be able to sit there and listen
in silence
and reflect on this record billy and i made
that i realized again how much i enjoy it
"always caught up in the doing...always the pushing and pulling"
my own words coming back on me but yeah
most of the time i just keep the pedal to the metal
and i don't ever take the time to pause
and reflect
on these things i've done
tonight i had that chance to do so
with my 2 dear friends
who have been there with me every step of the way
it felt really nice
it was another beautiful moment for me
and the perfect ending to another perfect day

timetravel

2008-12-14T21:02:00.000-08:00

christmastime
on the horizon
wasn't it all just here last year?
we went on a drive tonight
to see the lights
so peaceful
and beautiful
our son is in kid bliss
i watch him with a combination of pure joy and envy
we're so lucky to have this life
we're so lucky to have each other
i want to hang out to every second we have together
but then it's gone
rolled on to the next
and the next and the next
now here i am again
sitting at this desk
in the dark
clickity clickity clack
on the keyboard
i feel rusty
it's been too long
but then again
it was just the other day
sometimes it feels like i'm holding my breath
waiting for the bottom to drop out
things are too good
i'm too happy
i'm not used to all of this
it was a long slow road to get here
can i please stay for as long as possible?

art conspiracy #4 was last week
it's hard to believe
i remember #1
like it was just last week
the texas theater
the polaroids
now it's all a blurp on flickr
at #4 jayme had to have this one painting by mark nelson
i gotta admit
it was pretty spectacular
now it's hanging in our hallway
buttercup rolled in on sunday
we spent all day working on their magnificence record
it's gonna be one of the best ones i've ever had a hand in
i promise "it's in the way"
"consensus chalice"
"i am a tiger"
that's right
i am
then we all went up to barley house around 9
to make a racket
for 3 years plus i've been mumbling and grumbling
about losing the "old barley"
i even stopped playing the NBH
because i didn't like the way it sounded
well
my boycott is finally over
our set sunday was the most fun i've had there since it opened
with a new direction aimed at bringing our onstage volume down
we had one of the most sonically enjoyable sets
in ages
i even played acoustic guitar
and could hear myself sing
it was almost a christmas miracle
joe reyes
from the b-cup
joined us
there were moments where we transcended
that's the feeling i always want when i play
but rarely achieve
so my friends from san antonio then took the bar by the heart
they serenaded
and rocked
they smiled
and were serious
they gave me back my favorite place to play
the place i've been missing for years
for one night
it was as good as it ever was
on henderson
in fact
it was even better
so we're gonna do it again in january
when they come back up
put saturday the 31st on your calendar
it's gonna be great

there's a lot of things coming up fast
promos of constellation in the mail
the pleasantry lane christmas party at dada
on wednesday
rhett miller and his solo record in january
my first house concert
the noise at the granada in january
winslow's cd release
tour plans
taxes
i finally got a haircut
am i really ready for christmas?
the days are flying past at an alarming rate
every morning feels like groundhog day
i hear sonny and cher singing along as i pour
G's morning cereal
all i wanna do is slow them down
but i can't
it never works that way
for any of us
it's the best of times for me
life can't get any better
but then
all of a sudden
it does

another new year is just around the bend
wasn't i just doing this bit the other day?
wasn't i just 5 waiting for christmas
wondering what i was gonna get on that special day
caught up in the wonder of it all
it sure feels like it...
does it to you?

love

s

the nourallah weekend update

2008-11-30T19:30:00.000-08:00

friday night i played joey's supper club
in aubrey
it was the closest i've come to denton
in 2 years
by staying out of the city limits
i guess i avoided the curse!
joey's is a cozy little acoustic venue
on 380
we had a great time
our hosts treated jayme gavin and i
(plus lisa and lee)
like royalty
the food was phenomenal
in fact
i wish this place was closer to our house
their authentic italian food kicked the living daylights
out of my favorite places down here
i'd be hanging out there all the time
joey (see picture) even made a couple of our appetizers himself!

saturday morning we went to the spiral diner
in oak cliff
it's a vegan diner
with exceptional food
and a great retro decor
s.j.s. recommended the tacos
which aren't on the menu
they were ridiculously good
after eating we wandered around the bishop's arts district
i gotta say
i was a bit disappointed
not really anything i was very interested in
and a couple of stores that left me wondering
how on earth they're gonna stay in business
still
we had fun
and it felt like we were in a different city entirely
which was cool
at least they're trying to get something going there
that's out of the norm

it was another wonderful weekend
and i enjoyed every second of it
the viscious pink art show
rhoti grill with L and L
"let the right one in" at the angelika
then buzzbrew's today
with a bonus jd/amanda hangout
this afternoon we worked on jayme's squirrel house
went for a run (which felt GREAT after 3 days of non-stop eating!)
then we pulled all our christmas boxes out of the attic
and went to town
4 hours of nourallah family christmas fun
nate king cole sang some mellow christmas tunes
as we put up and decorated our tree
seeing how happy it made J and G was the best part of my entire week
i wish i could've bottled the moment forever
to always be able to go back to
videotape just isn't enough...

at 8 eric tj and rich showed up
for a 2 hour rehearsal
we practiced songs off of constellation
for the 1st time
"western hills"
"stranger in my own skin"
"be here now"
"don't mind me"
"pictures collected"
and "saint georges"
the band absolutely blew me away
i don't remember ever feeling more energized
after a practice
they instantly made all the intricate parts on the record come to life
and the new blueprint was finally brought to fruition

i can't wait to start playing shows in this format
i guess i won't have ot wait long though
the 1st one is this sunday at barley house!!

the BEST THANKSGIVING EVER!!

2008-11-28T08:34:00.000-08:00

on our way to jayme's parents house
gavin proclaimed
"this is the best thanksgiving EVER!!"
we hadn't really done anything yet
but i guess he already knew...

when we sat down for the feast the grandparents had laid out
G threw his hands up in the air and said
"what am i supposed to eat?"
there was a bunch of strange foods he'd never seen before
he passed on the corn casserole
no to the mashed potatoes
"that turkey's dead!"
enough said
come pie time though he was a happy camper
a little apple
some of momma's pumpkin
with whip cream on top
not the most nutritious or balanced meal for a kid
but what the hell
it was THANKSGIVING!!
i somehow managed to not stuff myself
or fall asleep on the soft pleather couches
bound and determined to break those traditions
G and i hopped the backyard fence and went for a walk on the golf course
it looked like we could've been in maine (without the snow)
serene ponds with ducks
majestic trees with their orange and yellow fall leaves
G ran around with a pair of binoculars
shouting instructions to the wildlife
we went back and got bread and jayme
so we could feed the ducks
grandpa even broke away from the football
to join us
after that i had the misfortune of catching the jonas brothers
halftime show
i found the pumpkin pie wanting to make its way back up again
thankfully
i escaped before their fist pumping tight pants finale that would've surely
induced a thanksgiving hurl!!!!!

we waved goodbye to the grandparents around 5:30
to head over to the semrad's house in oak cliff
from plano to the o.c.
now there's a schizophrenic metroplex jump for ya!
a massive spread of meatless delights was waiting for us upon our arrival
we even had adorable little place cards
and ahhhhh.........no football on the tv!!
we ate
the kids played happily
then the adults played "the cube"
the kids played some more
the adults moved to the front porch to mingle
the kids dueled with lightsabers in the front yard
paul put on "london calling"
the kids ran around and into the gigantic fortress bush
i got to practice "snowing in my heart" on the aereosonic upright piano
i glanced up at the clock and it was already midnight
where did the time fly?
what a fun night we had
we didn't get home until 12:45
it was the latest G had ever stayed up
although he was still ridin' high from the day's festivities

it's 11am now
J and G are still sleeping
i guess they were worn out by
the BEST THANKSGIVING EVER!!

tonight we all head to Aubrey for my show at Joey's Supper Club
L and L are coming up from Austin
i have 3 more days of time off
this party has just begun!!

delusions of grandeur

2008-11-20T07:34:00.000-08:00

the anju gill show saturday was amazing
i'd never seen more people packed into club dada
it made me proud of dallas music
and proud of YOU for supporting it
thank you to everyone who attended
and performed
we have a lot to feel good about...

the day before the show i was gripped by the random idea
to go back through the SN vaults
and cull the best material for a double disc 24 song explosion
which i'll call
delusions of grandeur
i've got so many tracks that have been sitting
and waiting
some of them are even favorites of mine
like the 1st recording i ever made with john dufilho
"dancing fool"
or
"stick you (on the way down)" which was done during the
avoid danger sessions and features the primal scream
d.o.g. is gonna be a sprawling mess of a record
every hair outta place
badly in need of a bath
and new shoes
i can hardly wait
i picture it loud and clear already
the running order
the cover
everything
it's gonna start out with jayme making her one and only appearance
on any of my songs
get ready
it's not what you think
she's not singing!

it feels like i'm about to start a new chapter
so i guess cleaning house is in order
delusions feels like part of that house cleaning
to get anything that's been laying around
collecting dust
out of the cupboards
many of my talented friends dedicated hours and hours
and days of their lives
to come over here and record these songs of mine
so the least i can do is eventually release them!

so that's it for now
delusions of grandeur speeding your way
look for it's release sometime in '09
after constellation