sunday morning

"please don’t erase these memories god"

i was talking with my mother
about 8 months ago
i was telling her about one of my favorite things
about being a parent
when little G comes running
into our bedroom
in the morning
and he climbs up in bed with us
for a "family cuddle"
as he calls it
laughing
giggling
squirming
horsing around
"tickle fall downing"
"alligator wrestlator"
and all his other funny games
i asked my mom if we ever did that when i was little?
she said ever since the first night i came home
from the hospital
they put me in my crib
in the middle room
and that's where i stayed
i asked her if they ever took me in to their room
when i was crying in the middle of the night
or in the morning after they were up
she said
"no"
i felt sad
even though i'd never remember it
i still felt cheated somehow
and i felt sorry for my parents
what a mistake they'd made
missed out on something very special

the thing about dying that freaks me out the most
is losing these memories of jayme and gavin
and all the other beautiful times i've had here
i make a vow in this song
to never forget
no matter what happens after i'm gone
that they won't erase my mind
after i'm gone
it makes me feel better
when i listen to "sunday morning"
even though i know it's one gigantic fantasy
it's a song of hope
and love

it was unfinished
when i started recording it
i'd been working on the lyrics for months
i had 4 or 5 pages of them
i couldn't seem to edit them down
i recorded all of holt's great electric guitars
before there were even drums
pretty amazing when i listen back now
all the intricate parts
i eventually whittled down to lyrics i liked
i probably spent more time mixing this one
than any other song on beautiful noise
it might hold the most sentimental value to me

"follow me down to where we once lived and breathed"