jayme and i just finished the 7th episode
of "john adams" on HBO
it was excellent
but the end was super-depressing
everyone got old
and died
we cried
and felt that sick twinge in our stomachs
i'm all worked up now
just like you
i'm usually not in the mood
to think about these things
i'm staring out into the blackness
of our backyard
the glow of the computer screen
in front of me
is the only light
my right leg is going up and down
like crazy
that restless glitch of mine
i feel like going out
but there's nowhere to go
i want to escape my thoughts
i want to be distracted
but there is no escape
not here and now
at 1:30 in the morning
i wonder if roberto is out?
or maybe you too?
maybe i should join everyone at the barley?
no
it's too late...

i'm ready to go back to austin
back to the retreat
lisa and lee cozy house
billy's studio
working on music all day
playing
singing
enjoying every moment
stepping off of my hamster wheel for a bit
(and my wheel is nothing compared to most!)
i want to be caught up in the here and now
again
too busy to think about all the sadness
too busy to be restless
and fidgety
like i am right now

i'll hit you back when i'm there








p.s. happy birthday grace!!!
you are greatly loved in nourallahland