hi anxiety

i don't ever have anxiety attacks
always been pretty calm and corrected
takes a lot to get me rattled
but tonight something has gone amiss
i'm wound up pretty tight
not feeling good about playing a show
feel more like not seeing anyone
staying in with my family
mentally worn out
tired
a shambles
i think a lot of reasons for this
too many to go into right now
maybe save it for the next blog?
if you've been following the days of our lives
at this very spot then maybe you have a diagnosis for me?
please feel free to send 'em in
anyway i'm wishing right now L and L
or J could be out there tonight
while i'm strapped to the front of the titanic
feeling more than a little overexposed
oh well makes me feel good about taking this upcoming break with the noise
i've made the right decision for sure
'cause i don't want to feel like this again
i've been playing for 15 years
hundreds of shows
and this is the worst i've felt mentally before any of them
so i guess if you haven't purchased your ticket yet
you can come watch me melt down or struggle valiantly to rise above
and there's always soccer re-runs on the tube
if you decide to stay in
as you can see by tonight's entry
that's what i wish i was doing!!
so whatever is in store for me/you/us tonight
i hope it goes ok
i'd like to have some fun and enjoy one more show with the noise
maybe putting down these thoughts will help me shake off the anxiety
turn it around and have a good night?
that's what writing can do for the spirit sometimes right?
my plan to storm the navarrone:
i'm gonna try and relax here at home for a couple of hours
until the last possible minute i have to go up to the theater
hopefully this feeling will pass soon
i will take deep breaths
i will read the how to fight anxiety manual
i will think soothing thoughts of baby deer frolicking in the meadow
i might even place a couple of phone calls
to hear the calming voices of loved ones far away
and i promise to let you know tomorrow if any of them actually worked