cha-cha-cha-cha-cha changes

the attack is over
it was thankfully brief
thank you for writing me with your feelings
they helped me a lot
daniel's story about his terrible day was especially good
and it made me laugh
it was a nice "bitch slap"
i know i can be a moody f#$@ sometimes
but i've always appreciated this life i have
even in the down moments
we all have those feelings of gloom and doom
no matter how great our lives may be
otherwise we'd be robots
or spock on star treck
here's one truth about me though
I DON'T LIKE CHANGE
when i was a kid i used to fight it with every bone in my body
my entire life i've clenched up at the very thought of it
my favorite lennon song is "across the universe"
i've cried many times to the refrain "nothing's gonna change my life..."
for me it's one of the most touching sentiments i've ever heard expressed in song
the sad thing is
even when i was miserable all the time
i fought change
tooth and nail
i held on to everything
wouldn't let go
death grip city
why?
i wanna know
i want to go back and figure out why
what happened to me as a child to yield an adult with this problem
or is it just an innate instinct?
nothing good can ever happen without change
i've always known that
it's all important
everything in this universe is in a permanent state of transition
it's essential to life
it's gotta be that way
my rational mind tells me these things on a daily basis
yet when i'm at my most awnry
i'm having some sort of allergic reaction to change
go figure...