the baby bunker

in the baby bunker
time stands still
you sleep when you can
eat small quick meals
go out only for supplies
spend a lot of time in bed
and even more time hovering over the changing table
3 to 5 loads of laundry per day
try to keep things all tidy and put away
nothing going on in the outside world matters
when you're in the bunker
the endless chatter of that world grinds to a halt
it's been silenced
the only sound you hear is the sweet delicate coo
of your little baby
who depends on you for everything
they are utterly helpless
the bunker is designed to make them stronger
every second they sleep
every time they eat
there is no panic button
like in the hospital
with a well-trained nurse on call to come rushing to your side
at the slightest hint of trouble
you're on your own now
with the precious life of your fragile child resting in your hands
it's a huge responsibility

yesterday Miette slept on my chest for 2 hours
while Jayme got some much needed rest
i felt the beating of her little heart
watched her breathe in and out
and make soft noises
ten minutes seemed like a day (in the good way)
an hour felt like a week
i hadn't felt this relaxed in ages
i had made it down to her pace
slow
soft
quiet
baby don't care about what bills need to be paid
or who is calling on the phone
baby don't care about the traffic or taxes
or hustling for a dime
she takes in the air
then lets it out
over and over again
she sleeps
eats
sleeps
sleeps some more
eats
it would be so fascinating to know what images float around
in her newborn mind
our precious little one Miette Sophia Nourallah
so peaceful
so content
she hasn't cried once since we got home
she seems happy just to be here
we're happy too
i can't think of anything i'd rather do than spend these days
like this