something to cleanse the palate

my friend Carla recently wrote to remind me that
love really is all around...

i'm holding my beautiful baby daughter Miette
in my left arm
while she peacefully sleeps i peck type with my right hand
the sun is slowly creeping
the trees are still and quiet
the sky couldn't be any bluer
the rain is gone
my backyard is happy and full of life
it's going to be another picture perfect day
i'm lucky to be here holding my baby girl
instead of running around somewhere else
scrambling for God knows what
i count my blessings every single day for this precious time
i get to spend with my children

the house concert at the Potter's Saturday night
was another wonderful experience
along with D and C
M and M have created the most inspiring acoustic music rooms in the metroplex
the 4 house concerts i played this year
were some of my favorite spanning 20 years i've been playing live
i want to thank all of them immensely for doing this
it took a lot of effort
and trust
for inviting me and all the other guests into their homes
the welcoming, attentive audiences that listened in to me were this songwriter's dream come true
i couldn't help but think 9 year old El Paso Salim would be thrilled to see this happening
"staring at the little kid i used to be
wonder what that little kid would think of me..."

the hat of random songs dealt me some strange twists and turns this time
the 1st song drawn was "in the blink of an eye"
which is about Carter and his death
i've stopped performing it because it's too difficult for me emotionally
i even removed it from the hat earlier in the evening but put it back at the last minute
i'd just spent an idyllic couple of days with my family
i couldn't feel any better than i did on Saturday night
the last thing i wanted was to be reminded of the sad impermanence of it all
as i stood in front of the Potter's mantle
surrounded by warm candle's
soft lights overhead
i looked out at an open room full of strangers and friends
and felt like kicking into "1978" or "pictures collected" or "montreal"
songs about anything other than death really
but no
the song hat had other plans for me
it had to be "in the blink of an eye"
my little test of giving up control had come to full fruition at this inopportune moment
so i did it
i surrendered
i played what it told me to play
even though i didn't want to dredge up those painful feelings of loss
right then and there
in front of a room full of some people i didn't know
it was difficult...
and then 2 songs later "model brothers" was picked
and i didn't want to go there either
but i did
i gotta admit
it rattled my cage a bit
why did i write these songs i don't ever wanna play when i'm happy?
i train-wrecked "the wicked are winning" which i've never done
i just stopped when the bridge disappeared from my mind's eye
i laughed it off and carried on
but it didn't feel good
after the break i hoped set #2 would go a bit easier on me
the hat started off in the hands of my good friend Kyle Ross
he drew "be here now"
exactly what i needed to start
exactly what i'd hoped he'd draw
it felt like opening the windows on a fine spring day
"unstoppable"
"don't be afraid"
"she'd walk a mile"
"saint georges" all followed
the ebb and flow of this set couldn't have been any better than it was
i would've never chosen something this good if left to my own devices

after playing for over 2 hours
the 25th song of the night "pictures collected"
put a close to things
Esther and Carla even danced in the back while everyone sang along
thanks to MP for picking that one to cap it all off!
not so random but a perfect ending - he was right on the money


sending love out to you all from J, G, M and myself