pumpkin cake

riding the baby roller coaster one last time
feeling a bit too old for this
the sleepless nights
the crying
the worrying if everything will be alright
Miette went from no crying at all for the first month
to super-fussy
it all started when we took her to the doctor
4 weeks ago
she got her 1st shots then
and boy did she holler
it was almost as if she learned how to cry that day
last week we went back to the doctor
for more shots
excruciating cries of pain and suffering from our dear
sweet child
and then for 4 days after
kicking and screaming fits
now she is officially cranky most the time
unless she's sleeping in our arms
like she is right now in mine
Jayme and i love her so much
and it's painful to listen to her cries
our house is tiny too
nowhere for the others to go while one of us tries to calm her
Gavin just puts his hands to his ears like muffles
and says "oh, no!!!"

when M's not struggling with those baby growing pains
she's so alert and happy
her big blue eyes gazing up at us in joyous wonder
she coo's and makes this high pitched little goat sound
it only takes 1 minute of this for the stress
to vanish

we had a picnic in our backyard yesterday
Gavin eating J's pumpkin cake
surrounded by yellow and orange leaves under the big tree
it was 15 minutes of bliss
the kids both happy
a gentle breeze massaging our faces
sun peaking through the branches
our beautiful family enjoying the moment
so peaceful
so serene
then J looked down at the car seat M was sitting in
and said "that's poo leaking onto her blanket!!!!"