wah-wah

can't sleep
i'm agitated
a million and one thoughts racing
restlessness gives way to this clickity click click
the 2 fingered typist hacking away on the most popular blog in the universe
hadn't you heard the news yet?
it's been a long long time since i've had this problem
i've literally passed out from exhaustion every night for the last 3 years
maybe since i've been taking it easy this last week and a half
i've opened the door again for my long lost buddy
here he is ladies and gentlemen
without further adieu
let me re-introduce you to insomnia!
looking very dapper indeed in his sleeplessness suit
crooning that old familiar tune
"gonna keep you up 'til the crack of dawn"
sing it baby sing it!!
your voice has changed a bit after all these years
but the words seem to be vaguely the same
number one with a bullet tonight is
"how on earth are we gonna leave g for 3 weeks this fall?"
topping my old faves
"what happens when we die?"
"how are we gonna pay that bill?" and
"it sucks growing old"
right now my feelings are that i can't do it
we're his entire world
we're both gonna be worrying every second of every day over there
i know what are we thinking?
are we really entertaining thoughts of taking him on a rock'n'roll tour?
i can see the eyes of the label guys rolling already
"he wants to take his what?"
i'm not naive i know i know i know
it's got me stressed out 'cause i know
believe me
something i should be excited about
now a decision i'm dreading
this is one simple example that this life i have now
is well-suited for me
sedentary man
yep that's me
working in the backyard
don't have to stray very far from home
that's the way i like it
i don't wanna leave my family
don't like the unknown
the tighter we grip this life
the further out of our reach it spins right?
remember previous ramble on control?
i never had the constitution for the rock'n'roll mover and shaker business
not a ladder climber
i like being on the ground too much
afraid of heights you know
when drakoulias said with his high pitched whinny new york accent
"the only reason you're not bigger then beck is you must not be working it hard enough..."
i knew he was right
well at least about the latter half of it
i think it must be in my blood
a family disease part 2
afterall i've got a brother who's only left his house in the last 7 years
to go see his parents
not exactly normal
maybe someone in france can snap a polaroid of "polaroid"
on the banks of the seine for me?
the longer i go in between trips
the more the anxiety swells
you see tonight i was laying in bed and i realized
it's roughly ** days until blast off to germany time
** days is nothing
i already see myself in the airport bags in hand
filing in to the tired cue to get on to the metal deathrap in the sky
bleak thoughts i know
it's all about giving up control and being terrified of what happened to those poor folks that were flown in to the side of a skyscraper
thoughts of their peril still haunt me
i feel the knots in my stomach
i see the bags under my eyes
blink of an eye and that day will be here
it's keeping me up tonight
sorry is this getting too personal for you?
if not
thank you for trying to understand friends
if so
then please get off this page of mine
may i suggest hitting the "next blog" button in the upper right corner of your screen
you might get lucky and end up on confessions of a transvestite surfer
bon voyage and happy surfing!!!
so what other tune is insomnia playing on his mean fiddle tonight?
the pleasantry lane cd that i can't get sent off to save my life
it's nagging me to death
like poor ralph kramden's wife
i wanted it done by germany
every time i try to get to finishing it i just freeze up
there's too much to do
can't do it now
it's playing on my pysche now
as well as my attempts to make studio album number 3
that's another story
can't get any momentum at all
the one person i turned to for help with this thing can't be bothered
to put in more than 2 hours a week on it
really not very inspiring to know that someone this close to me cares that little about my continued adventures in record making
i can't do it all myself again
and i told them that i'm too tired
BN wore me out
it really did
i know i know wah-wah
i don't need no wah-wah
and i know how sweet life can be if i keep myself free from the wah-wah
thank you george h.
i know i'll get over it
rise above
stumble on valiantly
wake up later today and roast veggie dogs
it's the 4th of july
my favorite
let's party like true americans holiday
but seriously
i need some help with this record of mine
i need an outside perspective
and from someone brilliant
not just ok
i don't wanna wear every friggin' hat in the building all at once again
they're heavy
they make my head hurt
anyway it's got me seriously bummed
i don't know how i'm gonna get any of it done
alone again naturally