Friday, October 06, 2006

photo triggers thoughts

i'm looking at a photo
illinois in the late 1960s
sunny day in early may
my mom smiling
standing in the driveway
in front of an old car
suitcase by her side
off to the hospital to have her first child
me
one of the pictures on my website
which happens to be down right now
so you can't go see it today
you'll have to wait
my parents are still here
i'm lucky
never enough time to visit much
i feel guilty about it
i'm sure the guilt will multiply exponentially
once something happens to one of them
our relationship these days
reduced to awkward moments shared over
occasional dinners
or holiday gatherings
i can't help but wonder if that's in store for me
years from now
with my own son

have you ever listened to this sound
small children laughing with their parents
it's so touching to me
more precious than a million bucks
the most beautiful sound i've ever heard
really
i'm not being dramatic
it is
i mean it
listen to it sometime
if you don't have kids
listen even more closely
you did that once with your parents
they hugged and kissed you
and you squirmed and giggled
you were a sweet little creature
they loved with all their hearts
we all shared these moments with our parents once
memories tucked away in our minds somewhere
beautiful moments i wish i could access

i dropped my son off at the okerbloms house an hour ago
i'm sad that i'm not going to get to share this nice october saturday
with him
i have to work all day today
i'm gonna miss him
if you get to spend time today with your kids
please give them a big hug for me

love

s

3 Comments:

Blogger sarah jane said...

i must be really emotional today. i just burst into tears over that. i love my e and j. thank you.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember that picture. Such a sweet one.

This post made me want to cry. For many reasons.

Lisa

12:58 PM  
Blogger Centuryhouse said...

You are so right on this! Hearing Emma laugh and laughing with her is fantastic.

I've given a lot of thought to relationships between parents & children.

It's sad to me that we can go from such wonderful closeness & love, to alienation & hostility in just 15 years (once we hit our teens).

It really breaks my heart to think that kind of gulf could occur between us as parents, and Emma as child. I hope it doesn't, I'm going to try not to let it - but it seeems to with everybody.

I'm enjoying it now though, and with another child on the way I hope we have that same wonderful bond with two children.

5:07 PM  

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