texas, hell yeah

we spent sunday at the texas spectacle known as
the state fair
8 hours
lots of cash flying through the air
and standing around in the sun
it was a beautiful day
i did it for the kids
our 3 nieces too
i had a lot of fun
only because of the kids
because they had so much fun
i was glad that i could attend something i would normally find revolting
and find it all very amusing instead
the smells
the sounds
the sights
texas at its most absurd
and cliched
a people watching fest
mullets o' plenty
cowboys squeezed into their stiff roper jeans
big hairdo women
creepy big tex
giant turkey legs eat 'em barbarian style
funnel cakes
fried this
fried that
fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
fried fish
fried corn
french frys
fried onion monoliths
tiny glasses of lemonade for $3.50
toothless dudes shouting at you to come win a prize
(jayme always stumps the guess your weight guy)
all kinds of rides
from the slow moving to criminally insane
people dangling from bungee cords way up high
screams of joyous terror all around
gigantic swinging metal arm with people strapped in
spinning them round and round upside down
dosey doe
more screaming
i tried to stay out of the way of potentially stray vomit bombs
from above
250 pound snake pit
the world's smallest horse (6 inches tall?)
gargantuan sleeping pig
peter the great big cow (2,500 pounds)
frisbee catching dogs
the prize ass (aka:donkey) competition
oh the mania of a swarming texas crowd
speeding to park their thousands of
chevy and ford pickup trucks
in gigantic crowded parking lots
then miles of lines to pay the money to get in
grandma told security
"i have a steel plate in my knee not a gun"
as they frisked her
once inside the pearly gates
it's hard not to go slack jawed over all the ridiculous sights
and sounds
"dust in the wind" played as we made our entrance
so cool
so fitting
i particularly liked the craft exhibits
truly ghastly
unbelievable that some of these people have dedicated their lives
to this stuff
maybe it's just not my bag?
navaho figurines
lot's of wooden nick nacks
strange southwestern paintings
plenty of nifty croche items
maybe a little sweater vest for your piglet maam?
i'm glad it gives them some sort of pleasure though
that's what "art" is for, right?
as you might have already guessed
farm life also holds no charm for me
walking around the horse and cow pens
feces everywhere
i felt pretty lucky i live in the city
i sure do like keeping the bottom of my sneakers
poo free