crying dymes (part 2)

in the summer of 1987
the crying dymes were poised
to takeover
the world
faris
aka: carlo diamonte
bobby
el keyboardo playing playboylito
salim
the velvet clad crooner
we had it all
looks
charisma
schutzpaw
bedazzle
the tunes
the moves
the grooves
the licks
bobby had the chicks
pyrotechnics
and high leg kicks
but we were missing one key ingredient
a bassist
so bobby
(i just remembered that's what we called him way back then
not sure when the whole "bob" thing kicked in)
just a good ol' boy
all the way from ypsilanti michigan
via germany
to el paso
designed the mother of all "musician wanted" fliers
it was a send up of an oldwest wanted poster
with a tough looking hombre
with a handlebar mustache
and 2 six guns
and lot's of spare bullets
the poster said in large type
WANTED: BASS PLAYER
it was kind of funny
i still remember that clearly
we plastered that wanted poster up everywhere
UTEP
pizza hut (where i worked)
coronado high
K-mart
"bobby" took it to parties
i put it up on my bedroom wall
faris lit it on fire and shot it through someone
with his bow and arrow

then we waited
for our entwistle
or bruce thomas
or bruce foxton
or even paul simonon (see: heathen town)
to ride in on their bass chariot
and take the crying dymes
to claim our "chalice of rock"
we would not be denied our glory!!!!!!!!

we waited
and waited
waited some more
the waaaaayting is the hardest part
then the phone calls started coming in

"yeeees sir, dees ease jose
i pluck dee bass gitar
i am a mariachi
from los hombres muchachos
you need bass player
yeees?"

"yeah, this is rod
hot rod sargent
ever heard of me?
i was in glazz dawgz
i noticed yer
crying dymes with a Y
i like that hee hee
you boys got yerselves a rockin' outfit?
i'm lookin' for some speed metal riffs
you got some hot riffs doncha?"

the writing was on the wall
and it wasn't
"call sting for a good time"
it was
"we gotta get outta this place!!!"
it was plain to see
if we ever wanted to do anything with our music
we knew we had to split town
el paso only had heavy metal
and mariachis
the crying dymes were too sophisticated
for old el paso to handle

it was time to move on