Sunday, July 30, 2006

i thirty five

I-35
for the millionth time
this weekend
a truly charmless highway
tailgating party at 80mph
lots of diesel trucks
pickup trucks
cops with cowboy hats
dairy queens
video sex shops
rest stops
car wrecks
traffic jams in the middle of nowhere
i've seen a lazee boy fall out of the back of a pickup
and wipe out a family on this road
have you ever been to waco?
where the christ kids party like animals
no surprise david k. sprang up there
i think something must be in the water
I-35 is littered with a slew of forgettable texas towns
all with apparently forgettable names
'cause i've driven past
and pumped gas in every one of them
for 15 years
and i can't even remember most of them
who cares
all waiting and baking under the texas sun
like they're just begging to be put out of their misery

if i clear my head
go back in time
back to times i don't wanna really go back to
i've got a lot of memories revolving around this shitty highway
the moon festival's many failed trips up and down I-35 in the nineties
san marcos '92
upstaged by a QuinceaƱera
threatened in the bathroom by 13 year old boys
in tight pants
who wanted to dance to michael jackson
not to a rock band from dallas
a club owner
who looked like santa claus
wrote us a hot check for $500
found out later he'd done the same to reo speedwagon
foghat
and a host of other washed up seventies bands that had tried to pave
the san marcos rock'n'roll superhighway before us
san marcos '93
after loading our gear up 3 flights of stairs
we were asked how much it would cost for us
to turn around and go back home
without playing a single note
back down the stairs
back to wonderful denton
home at 2am
a 10 hour round trip
$300 for our efforts
waco '93
the hospital white ford van full of us long hairs
state trooper with a big ole cowboy hat thought
he'd scored a good one
this bunch of long haired rock'n'roll sissies surely had some
coke
or dope
or crank or crack
heroin at the very least
pulled every piece of equipment out of our van at 3am
only thing he found was cooler of soft drinks
'97
sxsw
hanging out with drummer c. gavito
in the lobby of holiday inn
faris upstairs nice and comfy in his girlfriend's room
who walks in at 8am?
gavito's bedraggled father
off they go
back to dallas
i didn't have a clue he had even placed the desperate collect call at 4am
for daddy to come fetch him
he was no kid either - in his mid twenties
so i drove the super-size mf van back to big d
alone
stop at that stupid outlet mall and buy a white shirt
to make me feel better
i don't even like outlet malls
they're horrible
i never even wore the white shirt
thank f****** god those days are gone

these last couple of good years
have almost completely erased the many bad ones
even though those are the ones on my mind today
and the ones i've shared with you here
i promise
the good has overtaken the bad
but sometimes
when i think about traveling and playing music in this part of the country
my mind goes dark
oklahoma and arkansas
the twin towers of white trash to the north
louisiana to the east
even worse unless you like playing the blues
i think the blues were invented there
because it's so damn humid and depressing
the super-sized sn bubble i've carefully designed
seems to be working well
i play the granada
(a beautiful experience every time)
bend studio
(the best acoustic venue i've ever been to - LA doesn't even have one like it)
sons of hermann
(hosted by mike snider who is kinder than the real santa)
and it always feels good playing those places
the kind of music aficionados i wanna be around
we go see L and L every couple of months in austin
stay in their cozy library of a house
hang out with old friends
take it easy
roll in some good times
out with the bad
i'm never going back to kansas dorothy
sorry you can spin your toto records instead
i'm never going back to fayetteville
or norman
or tulsa
or shreveport
or ruston
or nacogdoches
or whichita falls
lubbock amarillo el paso
been there done that
lost a brother over it
he's still twitching somewhere from all the bad experiences
what about never say never?
sorry
i just did...

we're on an island here in dallas
we really are
we're surrounded by a vast musical wasteland
so much great music here but we're cut off from the coasts real good
josh b. of fanatic
who stole WV's money and buried BN in america
gave me some really good bad advice last year
"tour tour tour ...touring is the answer baby...that's how you make it"
that's the lazy
not so guilty promoters best friend of an excuse
it's golden
tailor made for 'em
"so sad...great record those guys (blah blah so and so) made...
but our hands were tied...they didn't want it bad enough...didn't support it"
josh b. you're full of shit
what about the honeydogs from minnesota
toured their asses off for years
never made it
the damnwells
the figgs
same story there
all friends of mine in GREAT bands
got zippity do-da to show for all the years of criss-crossing america
i could go on and on but now i'm on a music biz rant
what happened
i got derailed
sorry
my point
once you've finally found a life you're happy with
it doesn't make much sense to toura torra tour
america's too big to conca
especially when your name is nourallah
you may sing like a butterfly
float like a bee
but you ain't never gonna end up on MTV
there's a music I.V. jammed into miss america's right arm
it's full of mediocre crappy bands
that keep the big mac masses fat and happy
so i'm thanking god for the lovely europeans
and you guys
for your open minds and open arms
i'll put on my clown suit and come play for you any time i can

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You named two towns in which I've played in the last month. I guess I've got it backwards: In those towns, the experiences have been good so far; playing in Dallas, at the Cavern, has been a nightmare. Perhaps I would have better experiences in this city if TFO played anywhere else besides the damn Cavern.

KLK

5:30 PM  
Blogger bucks burnett said...

never say never
and always say always
that way you're covered
from both ends of the derail

why yes I've been to Waco and thanks for asking.
tromped across the smoldering ruins just past the no trespassing sign, picking up things that I couldn't believe were left unclaimed. The media and the police showed up and I got interviewed for TV and warned to refrain, and I was wearing my Led Zeppelin shirt but they never thanked me for the free publicity. Bastards.

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

waco boy marries wichita falls girl. now dallas. still dreaming of a coast. maybe with S.N.'s help record will be big hit. leave molten rot for good. live on a patio.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I understand this is a rant, which you are perfectly entitled to, but...

try to stay in the thought that this is just a road, a road that often leads you now to happy shows in Austin, and which has often led us to hear you play in Dallas...

Thank you for coming and please come back soon! We miss you already!

Lisa (and Lee by proxy)

7:14 AM  
Blogger Centuryhouse said...

I never realized the tour hell you went through back then. Way back then I heard the Moon Festival CDs and thought 'I want to find them and join that band'.

I hope it's better now, it sounds like it is. You know I was one of your biggest fans until we had Emma, and have made few shows since - I need to catch up on your recent stuff and try to catch a show again.

Daniel

6:13 AM  

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