carter should've celebrated his 35 birthday today

after all these months
it still doesn't seem real
but it is
i listened to the 911 tape last night
for the first time
one shot
and he was gone
it took less than a second
logg's reaction when he saw carter laying there
was nothing
basically
an "oh fuck" for himself
only concerned for his own hide
there was no remorse
no surprise even at the discovery
that carter albrecht was at his doorstep
dead
someone he knew all too well
how could he not be stunned?
it all makes me wonder
i will always wonder
how could someone do this and never even be questioned
in a court of law?
is it ok for us to continue to accept living in a society
where taking another human life
is handled so casually?
people's lives are snuffed out daily with the forethought it takes
to kill an ant
with our archaic "right to bear arms" commandment that was set in motion
in a time where this country was in a completely different place
we're going down in a blaze of bullets
and oil rape greed

my dad let me know about 2 men that were killed
in front of a garland studio last week
all for a piece of shit 1995 car
one of them was the father of a 2 year old
and an infant
the most heartbreaking thought to me
is those children living the rest of their lives
haunted by the loss of the father they never knew
and all this pain for what?
for nothing...
because the two worthless fucks who killed him had no regard whatsoever
for the value of another human life
when i hear about things like this i get so angry
that i think we should start publicly torturing the shit
out of anyone who commits a crime like this
yeah it's irrational
it's what i think when i get upset about it
i don't really want this...
but isn't it time to start getting radical about this problem?
how long are we going to accept that it's just "part of life"
"people will always have guns and kill other people...hum dee dum dum"
is it part of life in the netherlands?

murder cannot be tolerated
it is fucking intolerable
go hold a little baby in your arms
stay with them day in and day out
feed them
change them
love them
year after year after year
and then
years later
go hand them over to someone who puts a gun to their temple
and blows their brains out
oh i know
you all "get it"
you are peaceful and beautiful people
i'm venting in the wrong place
i know none of you would ever harm anyone
it's the others out there who should think about these things
and there's no getting through to them
this problem is simply out of control
and it's not gonna go away or get any better
what are we supposed to do?

i can hardly bear to pick up a paper these days
or watch the news
because it's all too much
i don't want to know anymore about
the cruelty
the violence
the sickness
that runs in an endless torrent of pain and heartache
right to our very doorsteps

i hope we all stay lucky
and avoid the ones
with no conscience
or sense of right or wrong

carter wasn't so lucky