september 3

today i miss my friend
it's always there
this sadness
behind everything
lurking there
waiting to come forward
today it's front and center
like an elephant in the room

change is in the air
our son started school last week
grace went away to college
sarah jane is off on a brave mission to uzbekistan
billy is driving around the west
i sit here alone
with my thoughts
questioning our existence
questioning everything really
i can't even relax and enjoy
the record i just finished
still doubting choices that i made
i want to sabotage it all
but at least i'm here
surrounded by love
and this beautiful life we've made
the more we have
the tighter we try to hang on
i see my white knuckle grip today
i don't wanna let go
i'm afraid of what happened to carter
i don't ever want it to happen to anyone else i love
i don't want to check out early either
the thought terrifies me
but it's all out of my control
i have to accept that whatever is going to happen
is going to happen
and try not to be afraid
this very moment is all we ever have
right now
is all there ever is
so why is it so hard to live in the here and now?

i don't want tonight to be a mope fest
we were all lucky and blessed to have known someone
as talented and kind as carter albrecht
we will fondly remember him tonight
sing his songs
and sing songs that make us think of him
september 3rd will always be the day we lost our brilliant friend
just like december 8th will always be the day the world lost lennon


i miss you carter - i'll fondly remember you the rest of my life


love

salim