Friday, February 20, 2009

on the up and up

i'm feeling really good today
jayme is finally beginning to feel better
which is a huge relief
she's been in bed for basically a month
it's been pretty horrible
i hope today is another good one for her

lena is working on the constellation cd layout today
it looks great
i've been waiting for her to be available for a few months now
it was worth the wait!!
it's still gonna be super tight getting the cd here in time
for the March 28th sons of hermann show
i'm not gonna sweat it if it doesn't happen though
i'll just make a date in April to celebrate
the euro tour dates are beginning to trickle in
plus great advance reviews
i know a lot of you have been patiently waiting since October for this record to come out
hang in there!
it's almost ready...

rhett's record is almost done
it's amazing
we just need to nail down the final sequence now
buttercup is lars tape bounced
and their record is phenomenal
it's hard not to feel so high after starting the year with these 2
spectacular records

we picked up the new MINI wednesday
and have been in driving nirvana
i'd actually never been excited about going somewhere
like i now am
i feel like james bond with the hands free
dialing and our IPOD on the car computer
now jayme and i have to draw straws to see who gets to go pick
gavin up from school

jayme's birthday is Monday
hopefully she'll be back to 100% by then
she's had such a rough month
lord knows she's earned it

i've almost finished the strummer bio
redemption song
it's excellent
and i highly recommend it to any clash fans out there
i did lose the vintage know your rights shirt on ebay
but you can't always get everything you want
now can you?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

my love

before i met jayme i was well
and truly lost
i really was
i'll never forget the night
august 19, 2000
when i sat in my dark bachelor pad
and wrote "it's my dream"

"i'll see you there, you'll see me games
or lies, no fake disguise"

i was at the end of my rope
i couldn't take the disappointments of life anymore
this song was a desperate plea sent out by me
for someone/something out there to please send me my dream girl
the one i'd been hoping to find
my entire life

2 weeks later
there she was - jayme!

i never believed i could fall in love with someone else right away
i was a total skeptic
within 24 hours of knowing jayme
i was madly in love with her
and faithfully devoted

"when will i see you again?
anytime, anywhere…i’ll lose the burden of life in your wondrous air."

(written 2 days after we met, on sept. 11, 2000)

falling in love with jayme was a high unlike any i'd ever felt before
and the nice part was
she seemed to feel the same way about me
we were giddy about it
like two school kids with a secret no one else
was in on
we spent every free moment with each other
i'd finally found in her
the peace and happiness i'd sought my entire life
someone to build a life with
the promise of a beautiful things ahead that we would accomplish
and share together

jayme is brilliant
and completely honest
with an empathy and kindness to others
i've rarely seen
she gives and gives and gives
works hard at everything
and keeps on giving
she keeps gavin and i from vanishing in a puff of confused chaos
she's the glue holds our little family together
she's the lightness
and space
she's filled my world with love
and happiness that has gone way beyond my wildest dreams

i love her more than any words can convey

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


white ford econoline van
speeding through the new mexico desert
a long time ago
straight into the sunset
the house of love's "blind"
full blast
dirty drops of rain splash the windshield
quick bursts of light flickering through the windows
a three dimensional rainbow
springs up ahead
i'm driving
hair tied back
round sunglasses
faris is in the co-pilot seat
brad and tommy in the back
brad leans forward
and says "what do you think he means in this song?"
a look like Manson
his black beard is thick
he states
"i think it's about believing in GOD"
i disagree
"i think it's about questioning..."
i quote the line
"i'm not the son you sent away...i'm just blind"
he's not buying it
"it's about trying to be a good person
but not knowing the right path to take brad"
he's still not buying it
"this is not a song promoting religion!" i proclaim
we argue a bit more
brad says i just want to believe want i want to believe
whether or not the song really means that or not
i say "maybe we all do that with songs?"
and how can we have any idea what any writer really intends
unless they're sitting right there with us telling us so
it's just a song
open to interpretation
and debate
the beauty of writing
and art
there are no absolute truths
he sulked back into his seat
arms folded
"whatever you say salim - you know it all"

i hadn't thought of this in a long time
while i was running today
it all came back to me
like a crystal clear dream
someone had shot up into my psyche
this moment was important
i'd missed it at the time
why did it come roaring back now?
is it because i'm reading about strummer and the clash breaking up?
we were 4 people on a journey together
it was the only real band i ever had
it signified the split that had occurred
that would soon lead to the end
i would never be in a "real" band again

Sunday, February 08, 2009

we've made it to february 8, 2009!!!!!!
we've been waiting our whole lives
for this day
and now it's finally here
everything we previously experienced
has led up to this moment
what a relief
that we've gotten this far
so now what?
we're here
we've arrived
what do we do?

i'm gripped by indecision
and sluggishness
i just sit here
staring out the window
at the fat squirrel in the backyard
i feel like him
i stare off into space
my son crawls back in bed with his sick mother
i wonder what i should do with this time
an entire afternoon
that will vanish in a blink
i look up at the clock
i've got 6 hours
i'm always counting down the hours
until i have to be somewhere
do something
be responsible
be productive
this is the day i've been working up to my entire life
so i've gotta snap out of it
and get it together man
go for a run
make some lunch
enjoy my son
help my wife
be happy
not watch the clock
be here now

that's all i've got

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

february 3rd

the road stretches out before us
who knows where it leads
drunk on dreams
haunted by mistakes
i ask you where you've been
you say "i was wandering the lonely places"
why did it take so long?
"i've been here all along really..."
the sun is in our eyes
the wind is in your hair
i squint to try and see you
but only tumbleweeds roll past
now the dust is spinning furiously
i can barely move forward
which way do i go?
i can't see anything
tumbling backwards
hurdling through space
my arms and legs go limp
i surrender
i give in
i give up
and fall




for days

for months

for years

i wake up here
in the white room
in complete silent
you are sleeping next to me
but decisions are to be made
the road opens up through the ceiling
the blue sky and endless stretch of highway
jutting skyward

which way do we go?
i need you to tell me
what should we do?
i want you to tell me
will it be ok?

i wait for your answer