Sunday, October 29, 2006

the pleasantry lane retrospective


rolled out of bed one sunday morning in '95
and this tune was in my head
"hooked on muscle relaxers and mellow pills
i'm the tightly wound bastard from inclement hill..."
it ended up becoming "pleasantry lane"
a song about an uptight banker/accountant type
who dreams of an imaginary place called pleasantry lane
where he could go and finally unwind from all of life's nagging
a retreat of sorts
anyway
this song was the lead track on the last MF cd
"sugar pill"
sometime in '97 F and i bought a duplex together
in the old part of town
he owned one half
i owned the other
i rented my side to "wreckless eric" presswood
faris and cheryl lived on his side
they put a lot of work into their side
i did nothing to mine
i had no money
from the onset
we had our sights set on the two car garage out back
it was gonna be our music place
we'd never had one except in denton
and that was cheryl's dad place
they were just letting us borrow it
so within a month of buying the duplex we set out to renovate the garage
we had $5000 from a bud light endorsement
funny thing is
i've always disliked beer
so with our corporate dough
we had the garage doors pulled off and replaced with double sheet rocked walls
for extra soundproofing
we had this strange spray foam insulation blasted onto the ceilings
to deaden the acoustics in the room
we removed the low cross beams to open up the ceiling
making it nice and vaulted
but we had to use two long crutch-like beams to support the roof
they always kind of cramped the room
it was a big project
after our studio was ready we bought an 8 track minidisc recorder
sub-pro
but it was a start
we made the nourallah brothers cd on that thing
at some point i started calling the studio pleasantry lane
it felt like that place where we could go
to disappear from the world
and it was also a nod to abbey road
we ran that 8-track recorder into the ground
almost literally
after our break-up and breakdowns
2 years later
which i've documented on earlier entries
(see: nourallah brothers part 1-3)
we both decided to sell the duplex
one of the worst choices i ever made
good part was that we sold it to F's "friend"
amy k. and her friend brian m.
they owned the place for 3 years
until one day in '01
jayme and i were driving down my old street
for auld lang syne
and there was a for sale sign out front
i immediately phoned my brother
who was now living with amy
and told him i wanted to buy it back
i was an the end of my rope with music
playing in a small 10 by 10 room in last beat
paying $500 a month
it was horrible
and this was the BEST rehearsal compound in town
for me it was either get my own place to play music
or quit
so after a very melodramatic process of getting approved for the home loan
jayme and i re-bought the place from A and B for $60,000 more than
F and i had bought it for 3 years earlier
i will always feel like a moron for this but even at the new price
it was still a great move
i'll never forget how sad i was to go back in to the studio
before we bought it back
and see all the junk piled high
i pictured how it used to be
guitars instead of skiis
amps instead of cardboard boxes
this place was meant to be alive with music
not used as a dead dusty storage space

i bought a 16 track machine that polaroid was made on
still only one room
no isolation
really hard to deal with when you're recording
but in 2003 a few strokes of good fortune hit
i was able to quit my job at cd world to go on tour with rhett miller
my car was pelted with hail damage and our insurance policy
provided $5000 in compensation
we found out we were having a kid too
i took the 5k and instead of fixing my car
i put it toward the renovations necessary to turn pleasantry lane into a
"real" recording studio
had the wall unit taken out
installed central heat and air
took out the unsightly crutches holding up the roof
and had a new re-inforced beam put in
then we added a control room
giving us much needed separation
from loud drums and guitars in the tracking room
it cost us about $15,000 total to do it
we put 10 of it on jayme's amex 'cause we didn't have any money
it was a gamble
i never thought this recording studio would end up
yielding as much music as it has
its shocked me

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

creation

songs

where do they come from?
why do we write them?

for therapy?
hits?
girls?
boys?
love?
personal gain?
art?
commerce?
kicks?
strokes?
fame?
rebellion?
because we have to?
because we need them to have a band?
all kinds of different motivations floating around
for every band or songwriter a different set
and at every point in their career too
maybe the reason why i don't like a lot of what i hear
comes from what i figure the writer's intent is
does it put me on some sort of musical high horse?
maybe…

i'm very lucky
that i can still keep writing because i feel like it
not to pay the mortgage
or the manager
or to put food on the table
there's no pressure on me to do it
if i don't feel the need someday
then i'll stop
if the songs stop coming
then i'll stop
one of the perks of obscurity
for the ones who've "made it"
there's an undeniable pressure to keep cranking the records out
caught up in the rock'n'roll washing machine
record - tour for income - record - tour - tour - tour - record
tour - record - tour - who can keep up that pace for too long?
the quality of the records begins to sag
no time for the writer to write
eventually it all ends in bad reviews
dropping sales
suspect records
(see the discographies of some of my favorite bands for details
the kinks and radiohead immediately come to mind)

who wrote "i'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round"?
a guy referring to bowing out of the game
exiting the rock'n'roll machine
to raise a kid
be domestic
live life without the pressure of cranking it out
and he was crucified by the press at the time
would they had rather he kept making sucky LPs like
“mind games”?
i’ve often fantasized about all the washed up horrible megastars
retiring
not dying
just bowing out
free up some space on the rock’n’roll dogpile
what if crapton
elton john
cher
ozzy
rod stewart
the who
phil collins
etc.
etc.
insert the ones you love to hate here____________
what if they just stopped churning out the bad records
over-priced tours
and stopped?
maybe opened a b and b in arkansas?
or spent all their time giving away their millions
to charity
it would be more noble than riding the ego carousel
ad nauseum
until death weeds them out

i thought this year was going to be my lowest song output
since '92
when i wrote just 8
i was wrong
i've had a song explosion since i got back from europe
maybe i just needed to do some more living?

Monday, October 23, 2006

pottybots

we're working on gavin right now
trying to potty train him
he's stubbornly clinging on to this last vestige of babydom
he has a wall of robots he can't have until he makes number 2
he loves robots
he wants them really badly
he makes us pick him up at least 4 times a day
to gaze at their splendor
and suggest that it would be fun if we took one down from the shelf
or maybe just touched one
no touching the pottybots until he does the deed!!
he went for the first time a couple of days ago
oh boy it was exciting
we clapped
and danced
and jumped up and down
and then he scampered over to the bookshelf
to pick out his special new robot friend
he was very excited!!
who would be the lucky robot?
it was easy
gavie took all but a split second to decide
"that one dada!!!"
he pointed to a fancy green fella with a solemn face
very similar to ringo the orange robot
but smaller
kinda like a green ringo "mini-me"
after he picked out his new friend we asked him to give him a name
"this is GUNTHER dada" he said very seriously
as if it were obvious

the name has stuck
gunther is gavin's favorite new robot friend
he joins
roxy
libby
suki ball
buckwheat
the before mentioned ringo the orange robot
and mommy robot
he never once has changed or forgotten a name
after christening them

i thought you might like to know...

Saturday, October 21, 2006

thank you

i got to play some of my songs tonight
to a room full of most of my favorite people in dallas
it was a pleasure for me
definitely my favorite bend show
although i felt like someone had covered my voice with a sock
you all being there tonight helped me ignore that
i wanted it to be really good for you
i hope it was and you had fun
it was a beautiful homecoming for me
i felt loved
and appreciated
it was a really nice feeling
thank you
i love you back

Friday, October 20, 2006

a message from our sponsor

i’m playing bend studio tonight
with my friends
chris holt
and johnny lloyd rollins
been listening all week to jlr’s new cd
it’s fantastic
presley meets macca
he plays at 8
you shouldn't miss it
all ages
bring your own booze
no smoking
tranquil cool environment to enjoy acoustic music
the best in texas for that

the myspace event invite has been stifling me this week
“invite friend by location” feature broken
i refuse to spam 2300 people from all over the world
to come to bend studio dallas
so i guess this will be show number 2
played without the help of the self-promotion monster jesus robot doll
by the way
a pet peeve of mine
myspace bands who spam for "friends"
it's out of control
it's lame
pathetic and desperate
i've got 6 pages of friend requests ranging from
hair metal bands to funky experimental (my favorite genre)
i'm sure you do too!

blogger is responding like grannies' computer this morning
i don’t have the time nor patience for it
so this is going to have to be a quickie
i'm gonna have some vanilla coffee now
and work on my new song
maybe see you tonight at the show?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

the electric messiah

8am
jolted out of bed by
loud
insistent
knocking
on the front door
was it the police?
that was our neighbor beating his wife last night - i swear
code compliance?
not enough "go bush for dictator in '08" signs in the front yard?
UPS?
special delivery of an early christmas present?
the milkman?
with a free years supply of soymilk!!!!
nope
guess who it was?

the electrician

a real live
walking talking bill
who had an appointment at noon
not 8
i guess i should be happy
blessed that the clouds parted
and the heavens reigned down a perfect beam of light
and from out of its glorious sanctified confines
emerged
THE ELECTRIC MESSIAH
here to save the day
bless our sockets
cure the dimly lit
banish all fire hazard infidels
perform 15 minutes of miracle work
for just $300

so i'm up a bit earlier today than i'd planned
didn't make it to bed until 3 last night
my long lost friend
insomnia
decided to pay me a late night visit
hadn't heard from him in months
guess it was perfect timing with my unexpected
almost religious experience wake up call
so i'm a little
groggy
and upset
i have a long day planned
lots of recording
i need to be reasonably alert
then a music related engagement i must attend
that extra bit of sleep was important to me
my mind is like a broken lawn mower
once it's started up in the morning
cannot turn it off
will not shut up
so going back to bed is not an option for me
no matter how tired i am
red bull isn't either
nor coffee
or speed!!
so i guess i'm going to try and brainwash myself
into thinking i got 10
when i really got 5

potentiometer calibrated
cathode rays warmed up
dilithium crystals percolating

launch brainwash sequence
5
4
3
2
1

I FEEL GREAT
AMAZINGLY WELL-RESTED

POSITIVELY PERKY

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

ipod audrey r.i.p.

so here i am again
another day
another blog
this day happens to be
a beautiful sunny one
almost perfect
i should be outside
maybe even at a swimming pool
but instead i'm here
so what am i going to do when i'm done with this?
the clock running down until i have to go work
i'm paralyzed by indecision
guess i'll just type away
until something hits me over the head

it feels like i was just here
looking at this same blank blog space
what's happened since i last wrote you?
events already fading into the past
sunday?
rain rain and more rain
worked until 3:30
then sailed our CRV boat to
max's birthday party
it was supposed to have been a pool party
new venue indoors
lots of cute kids
cupcakes for everyone
a nice time that went by really fast
sunday night a blur
i worried about my studio flooding
the rain was really coming down
spent some time in the alley getting drenched
fishing around with a flashlight
trying to make sure the french drain was working
monday we had an unexpected sunny day
for once i wasn't working
so i got to go to G's soccer practice
kicking balls
scoring goals at 1/2 a mph
cheering
it was nice
then a visit to max's park
to say goodbye to him and his parents
15 minutes of conversation to try and re-cap
a year's worth of living
catching up cliff notes style
not all that satisfying
bucks huberto and paul in the studio last night
bucks wore his new shirt just for us
i came in from recording around midnight
jayme is upset
she lost her ipod while jogging
a real drag
and just the thing she needed to cheer up
she went back with a flashlight to try and find it
no luck
up at 9 today
we all walked up to the spot where it happened
gone gone gone
a load of construction workers across the street
i guess one of them probably has a nice little ipod now
with lots of songs they'll be confused by
if they ever bother to listen
more likely it's going straight to the pawn shop

goodbye audrey we'll miss you...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

botox rock

a rainy sunday morning
freshly cut grass
cool air coming in the open windows
a bit of a hodge podge planned for today
a couple of hours of work around 1
then max's birthday party to attend
that's gonna be fun even though the outdoor plans
got rained out
kind of an unspectacular weekend so far
lots of work in the studio for me
two shows i should have gone to but was too worn out
to attend

earlier this weekend
i started getting the itch to play with the noise again
i haven't had the urge in months
when we did the last rock show
in july
i welcomed the peace
and quiet
it's pretty time consuming arranging practices
and shows
around the hectic schedules of 5 scattered musicians
i felt like promoting beautiful noise had run it's course
almost a year of playing the same set
we had a bunch of wonderful shows
it was time to take a break
the break has done me good
i've enjoyed it
but it's always a little weird for me
to take a holiday
i don't know why
i guess i think i might not ever come back
you get in the habit of doing something
it's easy
it becomes second nature
but coming back is the hardest part for me
maybe thinking about playing again in december is premature?
i need to spend all of my own music nights
working on finishing my record
not rehearsing
this band is so good though
not much rehearsing is ever needed
anyway
we'll see
maybe a mid december return at the granada?
if this show falls through i'm not going to sweat it
top of the year we'll be back with a new album
new set
new hairdos
plastic surgery and botox
re-vamped and detuned
re-energized
vitalized
and ready to play the grapevine autoshow

Friday, October 13, 2006

psychobabble

in my head
always a hundred and one thoughts
swarming like bees
reach out and grab one
hang on for a second
already distracted by the next one
chase it around for a bit
but not too long
there's always another one and another one
and another

when i was a boy
i had a hard time paying attention in school
i got pretty good grades
only because i had a really good short term memory
not photographic
but close
if i was even paying the slightest bit of attention in class
i could regurgitate the info on a test or a quiz
however
when it came to really paying attention
truly concentrating on anything other than music
well
that was always a problem for me
i'd say i'm almost disabled in that respect
give me an instruction manual of any kind
for example
a cookbook
bible
or a "how to operate" pamphlet
and i will make it about a page and a half
before i've drifted away
too many thoughts coming in and out
too many mental distractions
doesn't matter if you lock me in a stark white room
with one chair
no windows
and nothing on the walls
the distractions are all there
in my head
i'm like a pinball in a thought machine
bouncing from one to the next
until
i tilt

i'm getting tired of the noise
mainly because it sometimes makes people around me feel bad
like i'm not always paying attention
to what they're saying to me
even when it's important
it makes me cringe when i think about that
hijacking someone else in mid-sentence
or glazing over and dropping out
while they speak
it's only 'cause i can't help it
i do care
i wanna know what they have to say
it's just
well
sometimes i can't focus for more than a few seconds
too much going on in my head

when i was 13 i took piano lessons
my teacher thought i was reading the notes
i wasn't
i was playing by memory
i'd play entire classical pieces that way
'cause i could never be bothered
to concentrate long enough
on all those little black dots squiggles and lines
beethoven became a 500 page instruction manual
mozart
war and peace
bach
the koran

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

the last boy of summer?

it's been a good week
we rented our duplex to a really nice person
a weight off the shoulders
i've had some nice days with G
he's been so funny and well-behaved
i haven't bothered too much with the email
or phonecalls
kept distractions to a minimum
made some more progress with my record
told hotel goldener schussel in bern
to F off
even managed to get a little songwriting in
the weather is getting better
that always affects my mood
i'm not a summer guy
maybe you noticed?
sun and fun - not really
bathing suits - good for girls
swimming pools - i might sit by one fully clothed
tans - best left for george hamilton and pamela and
volleyball - too much sand in the shoes
sweating - don't care for it much
all the things normally associated with summer
not my bag
how i ever got stuck here in texas
god only knows
i was born in illinois afterall
i guess the northerner in me
is stuck in my blood
i like cloudy days
rain
cold weather
it's snowing in my heart, right?
coats
listening to music
when the sun isn't blazing and it's 150 degrees
i come from a family with a tradition
of traveling great distances
to gaze upon bodies of water
without actually getting in them
no scuba diving for fayez and karen's ilk (too dangerous)
tanning (cancer)
surfing (death by shark attack)
sailing (weak stomachs)
jet skiing (decapitation or worse...jet burn)
you get the picture
i remember when i was 13 or 14
we drove all the way from el paso to corpus christi
it was around christmas time
when we got there it was cloudy and cold all week
didn't matter
my parents weren't planning the perfect beach vacation
we weren't actually there to get in the water
only look at it
in the desert there isn't much in that department
so it made it so much more fascinating to us
than the rest of the world
we kind of walked around the beach
poked and prodded it
in our bad gym shorts
(i think we didn't even have bathing suits)
my little brother ameer got attacked by some jellyfish
we wore t-shirts at all times
no bare chested nourallahs!!
we bought shrimp and fish in the local markets
mom cooked it up in our tiny rented beach condo
we stayed out of the water mostly
to us desert folks
corpus stunk to the high heavens
nothing else happened
the coppertone girl never fell in love with me
then we drove 11 hours
all the way back to dusty old el paso

Monday, October 09, 2006

love life

the weather is beginning to change
fall knocking on the door
things getting better
my favorite time of the season on deck
i love it when the air outside starts getting a little crisp
the smell of wood burning in fireplaces
sunsets get even better
leaves turning
sweaters (just kidding there)
hard to believe we're going to be talking christmas again soon
it seems like we fondly said goodbye to christmas just a few weeks ago
but it was months wasn't it?
life speeds up
it's streaking by so fast now
i can hardly stand it
on this lazy monday afternoon
sun shining
a few high wispy clouds out there
not too hot outside
extremely pleasant
i'm using all my vague powers of concentration
to try and slow time down to a snails pace
see if i can make it happen
extra slo-mo
words sounding slurry and blurry now
fingers typing
one
word
an
hour
feet stuck in slow drying cement
is it working?
i just burned an hour here
it felt like 3 minutes
gotta try harder i suppose

i still feel kind of strange being back home
drift away at various times during the day to see
family nourallah racing around europe
in our mini benz
G and guttentaag in the back seat eating chocolate
captain sensible on the ipod
jayme navigating command central
suitcase guitar stroller bavarian hat cds crammed in the back
basti's on the phone with news on the latest sellout
lori's got the latest escape route planned
how do we get out of the parking garage?
what's the guarantee tonight?
how do you say "the world is full of people who want to hurt you"
in german?
while i was there
i should've taken it all in with even more attention to detail
i sped through it
like mario nouretti
i went too fast
it went too fast
now it's gone
slipped through my fingers
on to a hard drive
i gotta bunch of pictures
2 hours of video
and a load of memories to show for it
mental souvenirs
memory trinkets
and a different feeling inside me
the plastic bubble needs a bandaid
but fall is coming to save the day
random thoughts that make me feel good about it all
jd's soon to be released cd
D.L. part 2
matt p. reunited in december and it'll feel so good
lefler not touring for a bit
finishing my record
reviving the pleasantry lane cd
long sleeve shirts
unpacking my coats
G as a robot on halloween
G getting in to christmas even more this year

tonight i get to see my old partner in happiness factor crimes
paul averitt
he's going to help put finishing touches on my record
i see the light at the end of the tunnel there
it's not a train
it's not a double album
i want to go back to europe before 2010
the double will take too long
so it's going to be 11 or 12 songs
mainly about the struggle
to have a decent happy life
it's a battle for all of us
some never make it
some choose to give up the fight
i understand how tired one can get
but i'm hopefully going to keep on trying
until the end
gotta love this life
even when it has you beat
and love it i do
love you all too

love

s

Sunday, October 08, 2006

texas, hell yeah

we spent sunday at the texas spectacle known as
the state fair
8 hours
lots of cash flying through the air
and standing around in the sun
it was a beautiful day
i did it for the kids
our 3 nieces too
i had a lot of fun
only because of the kids
because they had so much fun
i was glad that i could attend something i would normally find revolting
and find it all very amusing instead
the smells
the sounds
the sights
texas at its most absurd
and cliched
a people watching fest
mullets o' plenty
cowboys squeezed into their stiff roper jeans
big hairdo women
creepy big tex
giant turkey legs eat 'em barbarian style
funnel cakes
fried this
fried that
fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
fried fish
fried corn
french frys
fried onion monoliths
tiny glasses of lemonade for $3.50
toothless dudes shouting at you to come win a prize
(jayme always stumps the guess your weight guy)
all kinds of rides
from the slow moving to criminally insane
people dangling from bungee cords way up high
screams of joyous terror all around
gigantic swinging metal arm with people strapped in
spinning them round and round upside down
dosey doe
more screaming
i tried to stay out of the way of potentially stray vomit bombs
from above
250 pound snake pit
the world's smallest horse (6 inches tall?)
gargantuan sleeping pig
peter the great big cow (2,500 pounds)
frisbee catching dogs
the prize ass (aka:donkey) competition
oh the mania of a swarming texas crowd
speeding to park their thousands of
chevy and ford pickup trucks
in gigantic crowded parking lots
then miles of lines to pay the money to get in
grandma told security
"i have a steel plate in my knee not a gun"
as they frisked her
once inside the pearly gates
it's hard not to go slack jawed over all the ridiculous sights
and sounds
"dust in the wind" played as we made our entrance
so cool
so fitting
i particularly liked the craft exhibits
truly ghastly
unbelievable that some of these people have dedicated their lives
to this stuff
maybe it's just not my bag?
navaho figurines
lot's of wooden nick nacks
strange southwestern paintings
plenty of nifty croche items
maybe a little sweater vest for your piglet maam?
i'm glad it gives them some sort of pleasure though
that's what "art" is for, right?
as you might have already guessed
farm life also holds no charm for me
walking around the horse and cow pens
feces everywhere
i felt pretty lucky i live in the city
i sure do like keeping the bottom of my sneakers
poo free

Friday, October 06, 2006

photo triggers thoughts

i'm looking at a photo
illinois in the late 1960s
sunny day in early may
my mom smiling
standing in the driveway
in front of an old car
suitcase by her side
off to the hospital to have her first child
me
one of the pictures on my website
which happens to be down right now
so you can't go see it today
you'll have to wait
my parents are still here
i'm lucky
never enough time to visit much
i feel guilty about it
i'm sure the guilt will multiply exponentially
once something happens to one of them
our relationship these days
reduced to awkward moments shared over
occasional dinners
or holiday gatherings
i can't help but wonder if that's in store for me
years from now
with my own son

have you ever listened to this sound
small children laughing with their parents
it's so touching to me
more precious than a million bucks
the most beautiful sound i've ever heard
really
i'm not being dramatic
it is
i mean it
listen to it sometime
if you don't have kids
listen even more closely
you did that once with your parents
they hugged and kissed you
and you squirmed and giggled
you were a sweet little creature
they loved with all their hearts
we all shared these moments with our parents once
memories tucked away in our minds somewhere
beautiful moments i wish i could access

i dropped my son off at the okerbloms house an hour ago
i'm sad that i'm not going to get to share this nice october saturday
with him
i have to work all day today
i'm gonna miss him
if you get to spend time today with your kids
please give them a big hug for me

love

s

Thursday, October 05, 2006

hamsters take polaroids

been playing 3 songs by liam finn
over and over and over again
he let me and G download them
thank you liam
a very nice thing to do for us!
you should go to www.myspace.com/salim
and click on liam's page
then enjoy his music

the rat race is back in full swing
i'm a little nourallah hamster
on the big wheel of life
just like you
when i think i'm pushing a bit ahead
the green cheese is almost in reach
i'm stretching out
gonna get it
wham!!!!!!!!!!!!! (minus andrew r.)
another setback
go back to a stand still

today we found out
some big medical bills coming our way soon
probably won't be able to pay them without plastic
gotta keep a chin up
plough forward
it's frustrating
but part of this thing we're in
i think it's that way for all of us
it'll be ok
won't it?
please tell me it will

today i'm supposed to work on my record
i'm ready to start that wheel rolling again
i want to get it finished by the end of the year
so we can get back to germany in '07
i'm re-thinking the double now
it'll take too much time
it's too many songs for one singer to sing
and one writer to write
maybe a bonus e.p. included with the cd?
we'll see...
my second guessing is all part of the process i suppose
constantly re-evaluating
drifting away in the middle of conversations
because an idea interupts
oh, a lyric i need to fix
a bassline too loud
an edit for the last chorus is the ultimate answer!!!
eyes glaze over
i'm somewhere else
my wife is talking to me
i'm sorry
i hate this
i'm trying to not do this anymore
i'll be better once i finish my record
i will
i promise
there will be peace
peace and temporary mental silence
it comes when the record is finally finished
that is only
if they don't screw everything up at the pressing plant
(see pleasantry lane cd for more details)

have the polaroids played their last show?
jason g. moving to san antonio this week
dallas is losing one of its finest all-around musicians
i know he's still going to be around
deathray davies and i love math have no plans of stopping
don't worry
but 5 hours I-35 separation might make it hard for the p's
to overcome
longhorn ballroom december 1st
might be my rock'n'roll comeback show
sooner than i had planned
but the art conspiracy is calling
gotta do my share to help out
who will join me?
a mystery to me on october 5 2006

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

bern oh bern oh bern

a blanket of melancholy
thrown over my shoulders
feeling disconnected
so many sad things to ponder today
before they were masked by denial
inability to process them
a change in perspective
allowed some things to come into focus
maybe better off left in the shadows
in a blur
shut out
this can't be my life?
this isn't really happening is it?
yeah it is
this is your life buddy
not all that kid you once were hoped for huh?
so hard when we're constantly changing
moving closer and further away from our loved ones
one day closer than you ever thought possible
years later no connection whatsoever
i'm going to keep trying
no matter how bad some days are
to keep my spirits up
not let it all get to me
i have a little son who needs me to hang in there for him

a question from a guy in frankfurt
"why do you write such sad songs?
they won't get you on the pop charts"
F*** the pop charts friend
this world is sad
the more you love it
the more you love
the sadder it is
i don't wanna wallow in the gloom all the time
but lets face it
try dreaming like the child you used to be
dream on into adulthood
dream dream dream
while the GW's wipe out everything
and the terrorists fly planes full of innocent people
into the sides of buildings
and everytime you turn on the news
something tragic has happened
all these things driving the child in us further away
too much pain and tragedy to bear
so you "grow-up"
get tough
pull on that second skin
and the ones who never develop that skill
end up social casualties

a trivial random sidenote

do you remember bern switzerland?
and club ono
what happened to me there
my horrible pay to play fiasco
well here's more for you...
i got an email this morning from basti
hotel goldener schlüssel in bern
had sent tapete a bill for 316 dollars
we never stayed there!!
when we'd arrived in bern we checked into our room
it was a dump
i mean a serious rat hole
4 x 4
no air
dirty
brown walls sheets beds bathroom
unbelievably bad vibe
and at 160 a night
a total euro rip-off
so we told the manager we wanted to change hotels
they had block off the windows in our room
so nothing but stale hot air was in there
how would our son breathe at night?
so reluctantly let us off the hook
after coming up to the room to make sure we had a son
now they send poor basti a bill????
thieving bastards
we're not gonna pay it
come to texas and get me i say!!

so now
for the internet unveiling
of my new "upbeat" hit single

"bern oh bern oh bern
you're a town full of crooks and scoundrels
and i'm never coming back
send me your bills in the mail
but i'm never gonna pay
oh i already payed to play
your crap town anyway!!!!"

Sunday, October 01, 2006

grumpy the dwarf nourallah

if i were one of the seven dwarfs today
i'd be grumpy nourallah
sitting here on a sunday afternoon
supposed to work on my record tonight
don't feel like it
i'm gonna cancel the session
i've got no motivation
the pleasantry lane fiasco has taken the wind out of my sails
i'm staring at the boxes of 70 worthless cds
i want to smash em up
i'm so angry and frustrated
today my motto is
"why bother???"
so i won't...
i'm also staring at my october calendar
it's really crowded
i'm over-committed
i don't feel like there's any room left for me
i need a lesson in pacing
i did it to myself
i'm the only one to blame
at the same time
i'm grateful life has me in so much demand
so what's my problem today?
i wanna hop the next flight outta town
i'm thinking about somewhere tropical
yes
i know
this is getting a bit depressing already
sorry
it's sunny outside
but gloomy in here
i'll probably pick up the guitar after i finish this blog off
this is usually the mood the elicits songs
the low hits
after the high
responsibility is calling my name
and speaking of responsibility...
if you know anyone that needs a cool new place to live
we're auditioning renters over here
they don't even have to sing in pitch or dance well
just have a decent job!!
this duplex is the place G spent his first year
it has sentimental value to me
so i want to find someone who won't abuse it

i'll be back again
hopefully when i'm in a better mood