Sunday, July 26, 2009

love gang

a wave of euphoria swept over me while i stood on stage
at Sons of Hermann Hall
a joy i've rarely experienced while performing
i was there with my friends
whom i love
playing music again with them
there was no place i'd rather be
i felt like i was finally in the gang i'd dreamt of joining when i was a kid
no it wasn't the crips
or the bloods
but a peaceful gang
of thoughtful and considerate young men wielding guitars
and drumsticks
instead of knives and machine guns
the kind of gang the beatles had before let it be
the kind of gang the clash had before they tossed Mick out
the kind of gang the replacements had before they chucked bob stinson out

my friends in buttercup have changed my life
they've taken me in to their group
and helped me heal deep emotional wounds
with their enthusiasm and love for music that reigns supreme over all else
like mass acceptance
and all the other ridiculous ego driven b.s. that rock'n'rollers strive for
these guys are true artists
dufilho and inky are too
they will continue doing this as long as the spirit moves them whether or not it ever
"pays off"
i gave up on playing anywhere in Texas other than Austin or Dallas 10 years ago
i decided no one else in this state liked the kind of music i liked
i was done with the disappointment
i walked away and said "good riddance..."
i was wrong
my friends have helped me find the way back
in this gang of ours nothing else matters
we're gonna have a great time regardless
we're gonna dominate Houston
then pummel Austin
then gently caress San Antonio
we're going to have a great time doing it too
no matter what
it doesn't matter to us one bit if people don't show up
or don't like us
we're gonna have a party

guess what?
you're all invited...


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

i was going to go
i was dressed
and ready
but then i felt that all too familiar tug
why am i leaving my beautiful family?
whom i'd barely seen all day
to go stand around waiting
for my ego to get stroked
maybe i could just stay home?
that felt like the better idea to me
so i did...
we went for a walk
i held my son's little hand
then we took him to look at toys
and to Premiere
to rent "Madagascar"
we took the video home
had some cupcakes
then piled into bed and watched the movie
he loved it
around 9 i got a text from ND saying that i'd won
best producer
it felt nice
i hope nobody at the Granada thought i didn't appreciate winning
that the honor of being recognized by my peers for doing good work
didn't mean anything to me because i wasn't there to accept the award
in fact the opposite is true
it means a lot to me
i'm grateful everyday for the recent success that i've had
after 20 years of trying
and failing
i have an incredible job
i'm very thankful i get to do what i love
i get to make music day in and day out with talented
creative, humble, kind people
most of whom end up becoming my friends
(if we weren't already that when we started working together)
to be recognized in this way by the Dallas Observer
and by this fantastic (and underrated) music scene of ours
is a huge honor
and i don't take it lightly
so THANK YOU again for this award
and to every single person who sent it my way
it feels really nice...
i simply wanted to be two places at once tonight
but the clone machine malfunctioned
and home won out
i have a five year old who won't be five much longer
i didn't want to miss another night...

Saturday, July 11, 2009

going back to the future

i took Gavin to see my parents today
i found some notebooks tucked away in a closet
this was scrawled in one of them
written when i was only 18
a strange, innocent glimpse at past me looking forward


in the future i would like to do the following things:

- obtain a degree in sound engineering from a major college
-move to England and try to become a successful record producer
-continue to develop my songwriting talents and hopefully start a band on the side
-fall in love with someone very special
-become successful as either a record producer or musician
-retain all my ideals, no matter what
-try not to become a hypocrite
-always do my best
-live forever!
-always be close to my younger brother
-never lose my love for music
-stay creative
-someday write truly great songs and have someone actually be moved by them
-try to do my part in being a member of this world
-never lose my opinions on anything
-always be in love with life
-learn to actually communicate with people
-have a positive effect on as many people as i can
-never be greedy
-accomplish something worthwhile by the time i die
-never have any regrets

Thursday, July 09, 2009

padre's lovely daughter

sometimes the earth quakes deep in June
late in the fading afternoon
while sun is singeing mud to clay
and sweat rolls off your pretty face

you said you never mean to stray,
"it just ends up like that...okay?"
from what i'm seeing through this haze
it seems you're better off that way

yeah, it seems
the world's become a bad dream

on your veranda stands a man
your hair like snakes coil 'round his hands
you bow your head to meet his chest
the sun is sliding down his neck
i grind a rose with my boot-heel
i smile real wide, 'cause i can't feel
he feels you up, under your dress
i guess that's just what you do best

yeah, it seems
the world's become a bad dream
yeah, it seems
the world's become a bad dream, a bad dream

a bad scene in some play
by a Mexican impressionist
who came from Zacatecas
speaking only broken English
writing cheap novelette fodder
with some Padre's lovely daughter
translating his mutations to the page, within the book,
within my hands...

i'll keep your wooden crucifix
and sleep with it under my pillow
i'll keep your picture packed away
'till it is faded, old and yellow
and when it seems
my world's become a bad dream
yeah, when it seems
my world's become a bad dream
i'll take a look at it
i'll take a look at it
at your smiling face within the picture frame

(april 5, 1993)

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

the party

"you're not really going to that idiotic party, are you?' jayme said
as i leaned in to kiss her on the cheek
"yeah...i guess i am..."
my family looked so sweet cuddled up on the bed together
watching TV
i should've put my pajamas on right then and there
and blown off the idiot party
but i didn't...
when we pulled up to the house
the thump thump of hip hop was going strong
it kinda looked like one of those frat parties
i drove past in college
but never actually attended
a dilapidated 2 story house
with lot's of people milling about on the porch
and in the driveway
surely there was a keg or two in the kitchen
but i never made it that far
we gingerly walked up the driveway
thank god it was dark there
"no way i'm stepping a foot inside that house" i thought to myself
i don't often get like this
at least not anymore
but i felt misanthropic all of a sudden
i was uncomfortable
and agitated
"hey man, you should go inside and check out _____ in a bit
they're a great hip hop act"
"i hate hip-hop" i stated
listening to myself utter those words made me feel like a grumpy old man
but then i thought
even when i was a grumpy young man
i hated hip-hop
it's just not my bag
it's party music to me
it's perfect for frat parties
like this one
and i'm not a frat fucking party kinda guy
so the bump bump and thump thump continued
and some guy in the window with a mic and his pants falling down
then i saw a photographer squatting down amongst
a group of gyrating dancers
she was shooting them "Sports Illustrated swim suit style"
really going for the action
i almost gagged
why did this particular scene make me feel this way?
i'm trying to put my finger on it
i talked to a few of my friends for a bit in the dark
on the driveway
my friend Kenneth said he felt the same way
some others friends made cracks about the whole scene too
then the back-breaker came when some guy on the front steps
started wailing like an indie Robert Plant
to the click click click of the eager photographer
i had to leave or risk convulsing violently
so we split to hang out in a quiet bar
on Bryan Street
once we got there i felt fine
relaxed even
why did that scene at the party annoy me so much?
i'm still not sure
it just did...

Saturday, July 04, 2009

an explosive 4th

we spent most of the 4th
doing nothing
G played and played
jayme stayed in bed
she hasn't been getting much sleep lately
and didn't feel up to much else
i needed a lazy Saturday
since we've been back from Europe i don't think we've had one solitary day
like this one
in the morning i finally finished the song i started in G's paris apartment video
it's called "38 rue de sévigné"
then i was on a roll
i wrote words and a bridge to a nice melody i'd been
farming since May
called "unstoppable"
i think it's a really special one
by 2pm i got around to a song i was really struggling with lyrics to
now it's finished and called "hit parade"
"for a friend" was next
it became totally obvious how to finish this one
after a month of wrestling with it
momentum is a strange thing
no matter how hard you try
you can't make it happen
it just simply has to appear
outta the blue
outta nowhere
on this lazy 4th
i was struck by crystal clear inspiration
maybe it's because i feel relaxed?
my mind was a blan slate
i had nothing on the agenda today
nothing to do or fix
no errands to run
or jobs to be done
i feel good now
and excited knowing that these songs
are now finished
and i'm happy with them
ideas on when and how to record them have also sprung up too

we're on to hang out and celebrate the 4th with the Vrooms now
i hope all of you had a good one too